Death-Guard Evolution
by KaiserTrigger
Summary: The fictional world is in peril! Who can save them? A... Band of OC misfits? Join an ascended action fanboy, a "harem" seeking Otaku, a battle maniac, and an blood knight attorney in training as they seek the truths to deadly mysteries and try to deal with their estranged worlds shenanigans. *Updates at random since I take my time*
1. Chapter 1: The Hierarchy

**The Not So Average Life Of An Average OC.**

**Chapter 1: The Hierarchy**

**Genre: Whatever I want it to be. Although I'm set on a comedy setting as always.**

**All characters except my own are property of the respective owners. I take no part in the ownership, and the making of this story is for recreational purposes and writing exercises only. Although I take exercise a bit seriously. So sue me for tryin to be fit.**

**This is going to be another story using the character from my previous stories. But this time hell have at least 4 main OC'S to hang around with. Just wait throughout the story to see them come gradually. Like waiting for a delicious muffin to rise.**

**Now shut it, read it, and enjoy the story for what it's worth.**

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**This is the story of the fictional realm and all its glory and poverty. And it's cheetos. Beware the cheeto stench.**

**In the another realm, a realm with all your beloved fictional characters, you will see that all of you favorite moments of fiction come from this land filled with what are known as fiction reels. Presented to your world in the form of movies, games, anime, manga, and cartoons of varying origins, these are essentially the way to make currency. What you call canon characters are no more than overly human looking super inhuman actors. However; This alone is not enough to sustain all members of this magical realm of diverse and strange personalities. There are what you call OC'S. Or as they are typically called, Ordinary Characters. They are the unused. The characters who are not a part of an established series. They work manual labor jobs and many others an ordinary person of earth would and receive similar payrolls.**

**Among the people however, there is another group that controls a level of fame. Or rather infamy. A group know as the Death-Guard, a sort of peace keeping force. As we enter into this realm, of not only mystery, but comedy, we will find out just how the Death-Guard and Murakami will come together. Along with some special friends he will meet. Some canon. Some OC's.**

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As we lay our bare eyes upon the dark and dimly lit city known as Ark City, a city of hopes, crushed hopes thrown to the wayside of despair, and rekindled fires, we see the sun rise over this slightly futuristic looking city that seems straight out of Batman The Animated Series. Minus all the crack, cocaine, and meth along with the string of "deadly" criminals.

We bring our gaze to a five story luxury apartment building. The outer appearance is a sleek white with many balconies showing for each room. Our eyes bring us to the 4th floor, room 407. This is the room of "barely over the poverty line" Murakami Kai. In this story he will be our focus as we witness the daily routine of an unused, or rather OC if you will.

"…Man. What a weird dream" Said the 25 year old Murakami as he awoke from a dream with his crusty ass eye lids barely opened "I was actually starring right alongside with Mister Saitama."

As he gets out of bed, we notice him passing by a plethora of posters and other memorabilia. Some of people like the famous canon hero Son Goku of Dragon Ball fame, and even a poster of the Saber from Fate Stay Night that was signed by the lady herself. But none were enough to compare to the massive amounts of Saitama the One Punch Man. Yes. To Kai, Saitama was his greatest inspiration I'm life. A man who's strength he achieved through nothing but mere standard strength training and could defeat opponents in one blow. For our "hero", to us, Murakami is the all time biggest ascended fanboy for Mister Saitama.

"Hmm…I wonder if I'll ever get that raise at that shitty place." Kai thought to himself while brushing his teeth and showering, as he pondered the chances of him getting a raise at Blanc De Canon. For him, affording his apartment was quite the struggle. Many a canon character visit the restaurant he works at, Blanc De Canon, and many of them are the most pompous off screen. But the pay is decent, and pays what may as well be 18 bucks an hour for the average man working in Earth's America.

"All day. Having to wait the tables of those bastards. With the occasional stoned couple actually giving tips. If it wasn't for the joint being extremely rich the pay wouldn't be decent enough for a guy who barely gets by with tips. I gotta find better work if I can't get approved for canon status."

He has applied at least 50 times in the last 3 years for work in the Dragon Ball franchise. 10 times was for side character status while the rest were for major character. The more status the better the payout. He was born to an odd fusion of genres. As he passes by his kitchen to fetch his pet Growlithe, named Grumble, some breakfast, along with some green eggs and ham for himself, we turn our attention to a picture on the narrow table behind the dinner table.

We notice a picture in a frame sitting in the corner. It's a family picture he was in with some of his family members. They're not all very happy. His father was an unnamed Saiyan actor who's only role in Z was to due on planet Vegeta during Friezas attack. After they tossed him aside and had no more use for his character design, he ended up getting drunk to ease a constant depression and eternal fear of failure for himself and his future children, and found himself shaking up with some lady with long light sky blue hair. This lady happened to be the sister the mother of the canon actress known as Esdeath of Akame Ga Kill. So Esdeath is his cousin. Quite the estranged family. A 90s shonen origin and a modern day shonen origin giving rise to a man who has the hair of a Saiyan but a build in between that of a normal Son Goku and a shrimpy harem protagonist, minus the plethora of wet panties waiting for him.

As Kai heads over to his closet he begins to pick out clothes reaching for his favorite combination for work, consisting of black slim fit business slacks and a snug fit of a white business shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Leaving his house, but not before walking his Growlithe, he begins his journey to work on a black motorcycle based on the motorcycle used by Kanda of the 1988 classic Akira, that was gifted to him for winning a contest, with nothing but a backpack filled with supplies. "I'm probably gonna have at least 20 minutes to spare with the way traffic looks." He thought to himself "Just enough time to prep myself."

Eventually, upon arriving to his destination, he scurries on over to the restaurant located on the top of a small building and begins entering the washroom to stare into the mirror.

"I will become canon. And I will become the greatest thing since Raoh, the fist king of the North Star" He said to himself for moral support "I just have to go one more day to take a bigger step to my goals. And then, I can afford any place I want and eat all the Matsunaga beef that I can stuff down a well!"

"Hey! Eh shut up and a to work you useless faggot!" Yelled a loud voice that sounded like an Italian man.

"Yes sir Mister Mario…" Kai replied in a silent but still identifiable reply "I'm gonna fucking kill him one of these days. I don't know how considering characters can't die, but damn it to hell if I don't find a way…"

As Kai puts on a black apron he jets out the washroom and gathers up his notepad and pen, ready to take orders and occasionally buss a table.

"Hey waiter! Over here will you!" Yelled a girl with pinkish purple hair and a long white hoodie.

"What can I get you ma'am?" Kai said with a slight smile on his face and an attentive stare as he readied to take an order.

"Hmmmmmmmm…. There's so many different kinds of cake here! Why! That's too much blast processing even for my new generation brain! I wish there was just some simple pudding or something…"

"You idiot. Just get something already. I don't like looking at this unused loser over here too much" Said an unusually dressed girl with black hair in twin tails.

"Kkkkkkkkk….. Well...We have pudding filled cake if you want that." Kai said as he took advantage of her statement of desire for puddding and stayed his anger.

"…Are you an angel?" Said the young female.

"No. Ma'am. But I am a waiter who can get you a rich German chocolate cake topped with pecans that we decided to say "To hell with Germany! We're filling it with pudding!"

"Yahoooooo! Alright! Bring me some of that German magic, you spiky haired stud!"

"Turn your voice down! You're annoying other people!"

"Right away. And what would you care for ma'am?" Murakami turned to the twin tailed lass.

"Just get me a black coffee and a talapia sandwich. And be quick about, I've seen enough people slacking off at work today!"

"S-Sure… Your wish… Is my command." Said Kai before walking away with the orders and whispering "You egotistical witch."

With a view of what he deals with at work and how he deals with it, we come to the end of his 10 hour work day and the arrival of his bi-weekly paycheck of 1,200 shings with 400 made in tips. Shings is the currency of the City of Ark. Finding himself trudging back home, he arrives home, feeding his pet, and walking him again "You're starting to let loose some pretty big piles of shit ya know that Grumble?" He said as he walked his pet and returned home with him.

Preparing for bed, he lay his back upon the cushioning of his soft but firm mattress, stating unto the ceiling.

"Sigh… I'm gonna have to really hurry up and get my canon status. I was born looking like a shonen hero. Dragon Ball seems to be my calling. I've won the regional crowd funded fighting tournament for Ark City three times in a row. And yet nothing…" As he turned his body to sleep in a more comfortable position he began to doze off "I have 3 days off starting tomorrow. I have to try and audition for something. I can't fucking stand this work enviormemt of serving people in this asinine hierarchy."

As night passes, and dawn rises into the sky of the city, Kai finds himself dressed in a black business suit with a white dress shirt, black custom boots built for work and business, and a pair of aviator shades, he begins his walk down to the local application center to audition for a planned part. Apparently while searching the world wide fiction, which is there version of the internet, apparently people I the real world, despite their lover for Son Goku, have been hoping to see a new main protagonist. With Goku continuing to fill that role until a suitable replacement can be found, this sounds like an opportune moment to try and shine.

With his arrival on the scene he walks up to the lady at the front reception desk and says "Hi. I'm here to apply for Shonen Jump's Dragon Ball about that need for a new main character?"

"You have to wait in line over there with the rest of the applicants. All 898 of em." Said the lady in a grotesque and stuffy tone as she stereotypically filed her nails.

"All… 898... Of them?"

"Yes."

"What is this? The dmv?" He asked in a snide remark.

"May as well be. Now either sit down or leave."

"Fuck my life…"

As at least 8 hours pass, we come to see Kai has finally been called at 4:00 PM to audition. As he enters a large room that has nothing more than a large tinted window in the back, and a desk with 4 people in there. There are 2 men and 2 women in business suits, the men and women demand him to be seated.

"So mister Kai. It says here you're looking to apply and take on Son Goku's role as a new Main for Dragon Ball?" Said one of the men.

"Yes… That's why I came here."

"Hmm… I'm looking at your resume. It says you won the regional shonen action jam tournament 3 years In a row. That is impress I suppose. But it's not enough to get you the job." One of the ladies said.

"I'm sorry… But repeat that?"

"Oh. Well then allow me" Retorted a smug businessman "You. Didn't. Pass."

As Kai stood their disappointed, the lady at the far corner spoke "We get at least 700 applications when something like a demand for a new main character comes into play. This is no exception."

"And so, that is why you will not pass. Chances are they are just going to continue on with Goku. Chances are that not a single OC would pass and all they'd end up doing is giving a temporary spotlight to Vegeta" Said one of the two business men with a firm smirk on his face and a pompous tone of arrogance "You are free to leave."

As all the color had left Kai's body and gone ghost white with empty round balls for eyes, he slowly walked away like a slot.

"God damn it!" Said an enraged Murakami who eventually got home and took his Growlithe for a walk "I wanna fucking ring their necks! If this was the real world they'd be fucking perma-dead bitches 6 feet under! And I'd be in prison…"

As Kai solemnly walked on, pondering his current predicament, a massive mystery crash landing happened before him! Smoke blowing everywhere and debris all over the place! Amd to Kai's suprise, he sees something he'd never think of ever seeing in his lifetime.

"…One.…..One Punch Man!" He yelled. The man standing before him, bloodied, battered, and dying, was his greatest idol. One Punch Man "What the fuck is going on? Are… You really the famous One Punch Man, Saitama!?"

"Of course I am… You bombastic moron… Ohhhhh… I don't have all day… Someone's basically just killed me…" Said the bald headed yellow tracksuit wearing canon hero.

"But… You're One Punch Man… Who the fuck could kill you?"

"Someone good… Someone smart enough… To get me… While my guard was down."

"How'd you let it down that much to be so vulnerable?"

"I… I was…. I WAS SO ENTICED BY THE NEW LOW SATURDAY SALE PRICE FOR OKONOMIYAKI!"

"…..I.. I don't get it…" Kai spoke as he dropped his facial expression to that of retarded bewilderment.

"None of that matters… They shot me from afar and tossed me halfway across the city! I couldn't even see who it was! Take my hand! No one can just happen upon this!" Saitama said as he reached out his right hand to be grabbed.

"Why?"

"Just do it! Just do it and help avenge me!"

"…I…I don't even know you beyond being an inspiration. And you want me to grab your slime blood covered hand? No thanks. I'm just gonna get Grumble and…" Kai said before his sentence was cut short by the terrible Visage of his dead beloved Grumble "…Okay. What do you need me to do? And who do I have to kill to feel better about this?"

"I don't know… Who it was that did this to me… But with the mark I'm giving you, it's an easy task to kill em."

"Wait a minute… How are you even dying? Your a character. A fictional character!" Kai contemplated as the reality of the situation reminded him of his own crumbling reality.

"You… You didn't even know about us did you?" Saitama asked with a bewildered expression on his face curling onto him.

"Know what?" Kai asked in his own odd bewilderment.

"I'm a Death-Guard. I'm a part of a group that consists of characters who possess a status that let's us kill other characters. We use it to keep the peace. This should be common knowledge."

"You… Well… I never bothered with the news or the newspaper much and I never really grew up learning that kind of stuff since I figured with unkillable people, we'd never need police enforcement or something. Never bothered to learn that."

"Whatever just grab my fucking hand! You wanna be able to kill the guy who killed your pet!"

"Yes sir! And don't worry. I'll avenge you. That's a given. The one who killed Grumble is the one who killed you."

"Good… Now hurry… I'm fucking fading dude…"

And with that, the hands grasped, and a mark of dark fire red energy was placed upon the backside of Kai's hand in the shape of a massive uppercase D and a little uppercase G.

"There. It's… Done… Don't… Get yourself killed kid." Said Saitama himself with his last breathes and a final farewell.

"One Punch Man! One Punch Man! No! Saitamaaaaaaaaaa! Shit! I… I gotta get my ass home! I can think about this later! I'm fucking going crazy! I gotta get home and masturbate this shame away!"

With the death of Saitama happening in his very arms a thing, Murakami Kai heads home to postulate his investigation into who would, could, and did kill his source of admiration, Saitama. It could only have been one person. Or rather one type of person. Find out next time in the next chapter of my latest and greatest crossover project yet.

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**Authors notes**

**Please Fave, Review, and take take a shit if you have the time, patience, and drive to do so. I'd greatly appreciate any tips on grammar and spelling and possibly character interaction assistance. Always helps to consider genuine "friendly" advice.**


	2. Chapter 2: Duties To Fulfill

**Chapter 2 is here. Read it. Review it. Love it.**

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**The Not So Average Life Of An Average OC.**

**Chapter 2: Duties To Fulfill **

**Genre: Comedy, Adventure, Action**

**All characters except my own are property of the respective owners. I take no part in the ownership, and the making of this story is for recreational purposes and writing exercises only. Although I take exercise a bit seriously. So sue me for tryin to be fit.**

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**What is it that makes a man something to be respected? Is it fame? Unrivaled power? Or is it just a double whammy of the two mixed into one package? That is what the Death Guard are. Within this fictional world, the one known as Exaspan, lies the Death Guard. Feared for their power, and possessing inimitable infamy for their duties that all but waste their powers. Ever since the reign of the exalted archaic deity, came an evolution in the characters. In order to stop one of their own, the first to evolve, from going and destroying all of fiction, they fought and ended the entities dark plans. However; Many eons of plot that you impatient little kids wouldn't have the brains to wait for have passed with peace. And life for a DG is boring without a "killing" to make. This is the beginning of Murakami's life as one.**

**-Murakami Kai has just got done witnessing the worst moment in his recent years. He has witnessed the death of not only one of his greatest idols, Saitama the One Punch Man, but of his beloved Grumble, his pet Growlithe. Now he's been selected for Death Guard status as a last testament by the recently deceased One Punch Man. It's only been a day since, and he's boozing already. As we witness him enter a local bar, we find him sitting himself by the bar and being greeted by a tall dark man.**

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"Yo, it's been some time pal. Haven't seen you here in a few weeks. How's life treating you?" Said the tall dark man.

"Yeah, I'm gonna desperately need you to get me two extra dry Martinis, Andrew. Gin. Not vodka." Said Kai to the man he refers to as Andrew. This man is Andrew Gilbert Mills, AKA Agil, of Sword Art online.

"That's a bit much when it's only like 11:30 in the morning isn't it?"

"Yeah well it's a bit much when just last night your dog died. And your greatest idol is dead to you."

"Oh...That'sad. Pretty tragic. How'd it happen?"

"He was killed. Grumble was such a poor fucking idiot. And yet he was so cute everytime. He'd shit on your floor and give you such an innocent shit faced grin..." Kai reminisced as tears comically welled up in his eyelids

"One order of two gin martinis, extra dry coming up. On the house."

As the drinks were laid before him, he took a few sips until "And we're over the hump" He said as he was back to somewhat happy working order.

"I suppose I should check out the international canon rankings and see who the fan favorite series are."

-As Kai rose from his seat, drinks in hand, we come to him heading over to a large screen displaying a large list that shows the top 5 ranking series and a larger list showing the rest from 6 to the very last one.

So let's see. Number 1 is still One Pieceâ.¦ I stopped watching after the Skypeia Arc. Second is Magi. Third is..."

As Kai looked upon the list, he noticed a series that he'd never heard of before.

"What the hell is Senran Kagura? And what the hell is Estival Versus?"

As Kai said that, a loud and obnoxious voice spoke "It's our game series you big assclown!"

As Kai turned around he saw a pair of young girls consisting of a busty blonde and a flat chested brunette, both sporting black Japanese school uniforms.

"A shitty OC like yourself would do better to remind yourself of your superiors!" Yelled the brunette.

"Isn't about time you stopped pestering me with these tsundere love confessions Rib-Eye" He responded.

"My name isn't Rib-Eye you dumbass! It's Ryoubi! I told you this already! I told you when we first met!"

This is Ryoubi. From the niche series Senran Kagura. About 3 months ago, she and her sister, the other girl, had met Kai at this same bar, and begun calling him their enemy due to a passing remark he made about not knowing about their series.

"Well pardon me mistress privilege. But I don't bother to remember the names of women who throw hissy fits and throw their drinks at me over an OC not knowing what the latest fapping fuel series for Otaku is" Kai said as he recollected the incident where he made some estranged enemies "Now if you'll excuse me. I have to find out what to do about this marking."

"What marking?" Ryouna asked.

In response to Ryouna's question, Murakami slipped a quick look at the back of his hand.

"That's... The mark of a Death-Guard!" Ryoubi began screaming "You son of a bitch! When did you get something like that!?"

"Last night. Saitama gave it to me before he died."

"Saitama? One Punch Man Saitama?" She asked.

"Yeah. He said it's like being a cop or something and that they can kill characters.."

"No duh you derp brained idiot! The Death-Guards are a group of characters that obtained a new evolution in power! They stopped a major crisis with it when they first appeared. Course everyone is scared shit less by them." Said Ryoubi as a face of worry contorted on her.

"Scared?" Kai asked in confused response.

"The Death-Guard are capable of killing any character. The only things that stop them are the fact that there's still differences in overall fighting prowess. And when it comes to being a Death-Guard, most are very vehement in following their duty." Andrew suddenly jumped in while polishing some glasses "Of course, despite having a duty, they do get really bored from the fact that the only situations they've had to handle since their first crisis at least a century ago has been ordinary disturbances like investigating theft, peace disturbances, and the sort. So sometimes they tend to cut loose and do more harm than good."

"So now you can see why people have a massive hate boner for most of em?" Ryoubi finished.

"Yeah. So now I know what to do when you throw a drink at me."

"D-Don't get the wrong idea bub! I'm not scared of some Death-Guard!"

"Good to know. I'm gonna go home. Thanks for the drinks Andrew." Kai said as he waved his hand goodbye to Andrew "Don't fret though. It's not like I'm that bad. You know that right?"

"I know. But be careful. There's never been a Death-Guard who hasn't been forced to fulfill their duty."

"What do you mean by that?" Kai said as he paused.

"It's like a second job to some. Chances are, the others know about Saitama dying and his passing his status to you. They'll come for you."

"...Are you sitting me?" He asked as his face became contorted with anxiety.

With that thought in hand, Kai hurried on home and in his desperate mental state of mind, he grabbed a huge bottle of whisky and began taking shots. As he wobbled over to his balcony to take a seat, he plopped himself on his lawn chair and just stared at the sky.

"Sigh... What now? I can barely handle my regular job. Now what? Quit my regular job? Not unless I get paid for this. Fuck my life."

"Care to share a spot of that drink there?" A voice called out from the side of Kai.

"Oh, sure." With drink in hand, he handed his drink to his left side without thinking and paused "Wait a minute!"

With his normal brain function back to its norm, he turned to see a white figure with a white tail floating above the floor. It had a purple dome on his head and shoulders. With a quick glance it only took Kai a moment to realize who was in his presence.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT! YOU'RE THE EPITOME OF SHONEN VILLAINS, FRIEZA!"

Kai screamed as he went straight into his shonen fanboy mode.

"Yes, well, I'm glad to see my reputation precedes me."

"Dude, hold on, let me get my camera, is it okay if I take a picture!?"

"Oh yes, please do, always a pleasure to interact with my admirers. Even the monkeys... Oh pardon for the insult. Force of habit." The legendary villain said as Kai eagerly snapped as few selfish and solo pics.

"So what brings you to this neck of the woods?"

"Oh, just here to take care of business. A little bit of shopping, a bit of fun, and to collect on you for your orientation."

"Oh that's nice. An orientation... Oh..."

As soon as Kai realized just who Frieza was, aside from being a famous canon villain, the mighty fictional tyrant wrapped his tail around his waist and jetted off into the sky with his prey in hand.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Screamed the now suddenly shit less Kai as he soars through the now night sky "SLOW DOWN!"

"Oh come now. Don't tell me a little speed scares you. I'm only flying at about 300 miles an hour. You're a shonen type character aren't you? Surely you must know what this level of flight is like?"

"I NEVER LEARNED TO FLLLLYYYYY!"

"Good lord this one will be a case to work with indeed. He can't fly and expects to work as and Shonen action hero?"

Within another few moments, we see the pair come to what looks almost like a mount Olympus type of place high in the sky with a massive temple on top.

"Welcome to Death-Guard HQ. Also known as Mount Tolcato." Frieza said as he landed softly onto the ground, dropping Kai to his knees "Now come along. Your orientation starts. We cannot keep our fellow brothers and sisters waiting."

"What if I refuse?"

"You'll be sentenced to prison for treason and lose your job... Of course, if you want, I could merely threaten death to you considering the gap between your power and mine."

"That actually sounds awesome. Scary. But awesome"

"Oh for fucks sake. Just go."

And with a slight shove, Kai was pushed to walk towards the entrance to the massive temple. As he enters it, he finds its adorned not with what he would think such an ancient placed should be filled with, such ancients swords, battle armors of ancientsncient warriors, and beatiful tapistry, but filled with Arcade machines, wall scrolls of famous canon characters and even original anime art. There's lemon bread vending machines, Pudding dispensers, soda machines, and even a theater size plasma screen TV in the farthest reaches. In the middle of the temple lies a huge lengthy table with 6 people sitting at it.

"Finally showed up did you boy?" Said a purple cat dressed in what looked like Egyptian garb "Took you long enough to find this little twat now did it Frieza?"

"Yes lord Beerus. I do apologize. He was a little difficult to deal with at first. But he's not presenting himself as too much trouble."

"Grab my nuts and suck me sideways! You're Beerus the god of destruction! Dude, I am a big fan ever since seeing your role in the recent Battle Of Gods!"

"Well, it's good to see you actually have some taste! I'm liking this guy already!" Said the mighty god in a conceited and cheerful tone.

"Graaaaagh!" Yelled a large dark grey skinned man with a glowing X on his chest as he slammed his hand onto the table.

"What the hell's his problem?" Whispered Kai in a tense fashion.

"Oh don't mind Demise over there. He's just cranky when he's hungry." Beerus replied in a calm fashion with his nigh perpetual confident smile on.

"I want to finish this orientation so I can hurry up and get some fucking food! It's almost happy hour at my favorite steakhouse!"

"Just calm down Demise. The noob's initiation will almost be over once were sure we're the only ones here." Said a man clad in magnificent golden armor with blonde spiked up hair.

"Noob? Is that something befitting to say to a new recruit Gilgamesh?" A petit girl with flame red hair spoke dressed in a long dark coat.

"It was a joke, Shana. Don't be an damn Debbie Downer."

"Shut up, shut up, shut up! I am NOT a Debbie Downer you god damn pompous man-child!"

"Are you sure these are Death-Guards with a duty for protecting the peace?" Kai asked as he stared upon the duo of misfits arguing over a single comment.

"We ever said we took an oath of professionalism now did we?" Frieza said in response "Alright that's enough! Unless you wish for either me or Lord Beerus to turn this into a minature planet Namek, I suggest you suck it up, make up a not if you wanted to suck each others cocks and lick each others pussies!"

"Whatever. I'm out of here. I have to meet someone for and appointment." Spoke one of the attendees dressed in a very dark blue suit with dark average length hair and glasses "Either way, my name is Motoharu Sakurai. It's been a pleasure Murakami Kai. But I must leave. Do try to keep your sanity here pal."

"Well. That's one less person who's attending here. Who's the other one? There's that one over there." Kai said as he pointed at a young lady only slightly taller than Shana.

"That's IF. Strange name she's got there. She doesn't say much, but we can tell what kind of person she is." Beerus spoke, introducing Kai to the young IF clad in a blue long coat that was obviously too big for her.

"I'm IF. Nice to meet you." She spoke while nonchalantly playing around on her phone "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm busy typing out a serious story about a guy who finds his inner demon power and meets a beautiful girl from China."

"A fanfic?" Asked Kai.

"N-N-No! Of course not! Hahaha, do I look that stupid!? Even if I was, so what?"

"See! A little bit of talking and you're already hitting it off!" Beerus said in a smug tone "Now that we've been introduced let's get down to business!"

"What about that guy? The big one?" Kai said abouts he pointed to a large obese fat guy eating chips out of his bag with a dull expression.

"Him? We just call him Pork Loins. Fat bastard ate my pudding once. He's never been the same ever since I had to teach em a lesson. But whatever. Welcome to the Death-Guard Murakami Kai. From this point on, you'll be charged with keeping the peace. We don't tend to tell you what you can and can't do with your power. But if you ever kill innocent people, you'll have plenty of us to deal with."

"I don't get it."

"Look at it like this" Frieza chimed in while slowly whipping his tail back and forth "As a Death-Guard, we all must keep the peace. As well as that, we must also step in when times of crisis are upon us. As Death-Guards, we have the authority to step in when we feel, to stop any sort of criminal activity. This ranges from assisting the asuthoritctivityctual police with combating bank robbers with super powers, or investigating other such mysteries."

"Uh huh. So we're like the super police then?" Kai questioned.

"Yeah. We also have to stop major issues like a global crisis." The petit fire haired Shana spoke.

With a rise from his seat the towering Demise pointed at Kai "And that brings us to our next topic. You were given Saitama's mark Murakami. He's dead. That means only one thing. Can you guess what that is?"

"Another Death-Guard killed him?" Guessed Kai.

"Bingo. It means one of our own offed our dear friend. And someone who can off Saitama is a rarity. Even for some of the best members like myself." Beerus had said "Do you even know how he died?"

"He said he dropped his guard because of an unusually large drop on the special sales that were going on."

With those very words spoken, everyone had put on the most dumbfounded expressions of dubiety. All except for Pork Loins who was nothing but an expression of lobotomy.

"I think... That actually does sound like something he might do. For now, let's focus on your given objective. Pay close attention to your surroundings, fulfill your duty, and investigate what you can actually find out bout Saitama's assassin."

"What do I do about my job? I can't afford to pay all my attention to this AND manage my job and pay for my apartment!" Kai asked as he struggled with the thought of financial instability.

"You'll just have to manage. And don't expect anything big to happen on the job. Chances are it'll just be some random occurrence of little importance. But we have to do this. So suck it up, and get on home. This meeting is over."

With the final order given from Beerus, everyone dispersed, and Frieza had taken Kai home. It's been at least two weeks since then, and it's been an economic hell for Kai having to not only work day in and day out at a restaurant that demands unrealistic speed, but from having to deal with 45 muggings, 12 disturbances of the peace, and 15 failed arrests. Today however, he seems highly unstable. He's managed to keep a straight face most of the day, but it seems he's losing a lot of smile points.

"HEY! Get back a to work you damn sloth! There are no breaks here! Today is the restaurants 15th anniversary! Show some respect!" Yelled Mario as he obnoxiously shouted orders at Kai "I DID NOT A MAKE IT A BIG TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR BULLSHIT!

"Be right on it!" He replied.

"Hey waiter! Get me some freaking water would ya! What are you? Stupid!" Shouted an orange haired girl with a scowl of annoyance.

"Damn it! Of all the days to be fucking short staffed! That fat slob just had to tell all of the others to take the day off!" He thought as he scurried all over the place serving drinks and food to a menagerie of obnoxious canon characters.

"Ichika, hurry up and order something. Get these sandwiches! There delicious!

"Bullshit! Ichika would appreciate the sweet and sour pork here!"

"Aghhhh! Stop, I can't just decide like that! Waiter! Can I get some water already!"

"I'll be on it!" Kai said, having to listen to such quick and eager deamands.

"Can I get some coffee over here? Coffee. That's Coffee with two f's and two e's. Got it memorized?"

"Hold on, I'll be right there!"

"HURRY UP YOU GOD DAMN A SLACKER!" Mario yelled as he threw a wet towel at Kai's face "DO I HAVE TO DEDUCT YOUR PAY OR WHAT!?"

As the last cord was struck, Kai stopped in place, gripping an empty tray that should be filled with unusual amounts of food, and started bre a thing heavily.

"HURRY THE FUCK UP BASTARD!" Mario said as he cared not to read the atmosphere around his disgruntled employee. Until finally, Kai let out a enormous burst of rage.

"**RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!**" Kai roared in anger and frustration as he suddenly tossed his tray through the side of the wall and out the other side, leading all the way into into a building that was 500 miles away in another city.

"What the fuck are you doing!?" Mario was about to shout after jumping up onto a counter to get to eye level with his taller employee before Kai thrust his finger into the mans nose.

"Oh, no, you Italian fat fuck! You shut fuck up now, it's my turn to shit on you!" Kai yelled as he demanded the silence of his employer. "I mean you" He said pointing to the orange haired female "Change your fucking tampon and drink another geezer you thirsty panther ass bitch!"

The orange haired chick had suddenly dropped her jaw in grief, as he continued his rant.

"And you! Waaaaaah, I don't know which girl I like!" Kai mockingly spoke whilst pointing at the dense harem protagonist, Orimura Ichika "Lose your fucking virginity to em or something god damn! There's no excuse why you're canonically still a fucking virgin!"

"..." Ichika said nothing other than lowering his head to the table and getting depressed from the realization that throughout his entire series he's still a virgin.

"Hoh! And you." With a finger pointing to the red haired black long coated man "You know what. You're to easy. Really. Two fucking keyblades?"

Finally, with a great look of anger and tension, he turned to his employer, and began his rant again.

"And you. FUCK YOU MARIO!" An enraged Kai shouted as he tossed two metaphorical birds into the air "Always gotta be right, always gotta talk shit! We get it man! You're the greatest platformer ever! Yeah! You jumped turtles, ate a mushroom, and defeated a brain damaged talking dinosaur! Bullshit! Being you is like being the greatest midget in the NBA! Out of all the genre's, a platformer, and you're talking shit to everyone! And why aren't your games cancelled due to illegal sexual content? Wasn't Peach like 14 or 15? Weren't you like 47?"

"I was a 40 years old..." Mario said despondently in response.

"You know what, fuck this! I have been here all god damn day, and I can't even take a fucking break! I haven't had a break on work in like two weeks! Serving a plethora of assholes! I quit!"

As Kai leaves, tossing his apron to the floor and ditching the place, he gave one final look to the building, with Mario staring down at him looking heavily upset. Then... He Hawked up a loogie and spat it at super speed at Marios fat nose, knocking the Italian back to the floor of the restaurant.

It's been at least a month, Kai has moved from his old and more luxurious apartment, to a cost efficiency apartment "Well... It's not like the last one... But I guess a home is a home."

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**What will befall him in the future? Who will he meet. Who will he meet that will play an impact on his story? Read the next chapter to find out then.**

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**This chapter has been brought to you by the homosexual magic hands of Super Kami Guru. Please support his official release.**


	3. Chapter 3: New Friends, Estranged Family

**This chapter I introduce the first of some new OC's to go along with Kai's adventures. I also reveal some... Odd family history for Kai. Now read it. Review it. Love it. For what it's worth.**

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**The Not So Average Life Of An Average OC.**

**Chapter 3: New Friends, Estranged Families.**

**Genre: Comedy, Action, Adventure.**

**All characters except my own are property of the respective owners. I take no part in the ownership, and the making of this story is for recreational purposes and writing exercises only. Although I take exercise a bit seriously. So sue me for tryin to be fit.**

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**Life. Full of sunshine. And full of the blackest of shit. It's a collection of garbage, with a bit of ,easily rotted, candy spread out in it. One such garbage, as we all should know, is financial troubles. It plauges our minds, our wallets, and even our favorite favorite fast food restaurants where we eat garbage for cheap cheap prices. And for a Death Guard, managing work to pay for financial support, and the work of a peace keeper without a salary for said peace keeping, is a spot of serious trouble for anyone non canon without a payroll coming in from acting revenue.**

**For Murakami Kai, that trouble has hit him square in the face. Not without relief. At least he's not working for a fat Italian plumber with a messiah complex who crashes the party whenever his brother gets something good. Now, he's stuck living off of savings, and in a shitty apartment. And it's been pretty boring too. Lately, not even the smallest of trouble has occurred in his area. Now he's desperately attempting to find work that he can manage. Let's find out what troubles befall him today as we enter into the shit that is, life. The life of a broke OC.**

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"God damn it." Spoke Kai, dressed in his black and white tieless business suit, who has become benumbed to most if not all his surroundings and has dedicated all his time to looking for work "My savings are starting to get dried up. It's been like 2 months and nothing. Not even a disturbance to lift the boredom. If I don't at least find a job soon, I'm gonna be on the streets, peddling like a freakin hobo on speed, fighting over hunks of cheese with other hobos."

As Kai was walking, he bumped into a man of similar age in a red and white track suit and red sneakers. The man fell to his ass and was struggling to get up as he had dropped a large brown paper bag.

"Oh shit! No no no no!" The man screamed as he scurried to pick his stuff up, grabbing things from the ground whilst on his knees "Gotta hide this!"

"Can I help you there?" Kai asked the panicking young man.

"DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!" Screamed the man with his red hair in a shoulder length ponytail.

"Hey buddy, you got a dead cat in there or what?" Kai asked as he gave an even more curious look towards the dismay of the present stranger.

"No! Just don't touch!"

"Okay fine." Kai said as he retreated a bit from the current situation to evaluate it.

"Huff...Huff...Huff..." The young man was breathing so heavily it resembled the breathing of a dog "I... I have to get home..."

As he attempts to take a further step, he eventually begins to collapse from exhaustion "Holy shit, hold the fuck up there!" Kai said as he stopped the mans fall "Take a break from running man."

In a matter of minutes, Kai, who had put the mans arm over his shoulder and brought him to a nearby bench, had purchased an ice cold water bottle to give to him "T-Thanks..." The man timidly said due to shortness of breath.

"So what the hell had you in such a hurry?" Curiously asked Kai who was standing near him.

"Sigh... I was in a rush to try and get to the Ruball Colosseum to sign up for a tournament that's happening in 2 months."

"A tournament?" Kai had asked "What kind of tournament? Not a childrens card game tournament right?"

"Nah. J-Just a straight fighting tournament..." The man had timidly responded "There's only room for 8 contestants since it's crowd funded. It'll have preliminary participants to decide on the 8 that'll be there."

"I see. Well good luck with that. I have to find a quick way to come up with some money. Or find a job." Said Kai as he was getting ready to head off "Don't sweat yourself too much over getting there pal."

"Oh... If you need money the tournament has prize money to come along with it."

"In my experience prize money never amounts to much. I won a tournament three times in a row. And all I got from each one was a measely 500 Shings. Not worth the rent of a luxury apartment."

"You competed in tournaments?" Asked the man as he took a closer look at Kai "Oh yeah. I recognize you. I saw you at the regional Shonen Action Jam. You defeated some canon characters there right?"

"Yeah. But the only canon characters who competed were a bunch of big tittied girls. I don't know what was up with them, but every time they hit each other it'd rip their clothes apart."

"Yeah... That was great."

"What?"

"Nothing. Well... The prize money's going to be a lot bigger though."

"Riiiight." Kai mockingly said "Chances are this is a crowd funded tournament. The Shonen Action Jam was a sponsored tournament! What kind of prize money could this crowd funded thing offer?"

"120,000 Shings."

"...Fuck it. I'm signing up too. Let's go."

"But we've already wasted a lot of time. Chances are we won't be able to make it to the deadline which is in about an hour. If I hadn't stopped I'd have gotten there 20 minutes ago!"

"You passed out."

"Bullshit! I was... On my stride..."

"Hey." Kai said whilst grabbing the man by the head and turning it.

"What?"

"See those two bikes?" Kai said whilst pointing his index index finger at a pair of bikes parked at a shop "We're gonna steal em. And pedal our asses off like this was School Rumble!"

"What about my bag? I can't pedal AND hide the contents!"

"Fine. We'll... Steal that car. We'll tell em it's for keeping the peace."

"Keeping the peace?" Curiously, the man asked.

"YEP! I'm a Death-Guard!"

"Oh. So am I. I guess that can work. Alright. Let's do that."

"Cool let's... WAIT WHAT!? You're a Death-Guard!?" Kai roared in shock that he was talking to one of his own "You're a Death-Guard!?"

"SHHHHHHH!" The man shushed "Don't just shout that out! I don't want the fucking town to know!"

"I get it. But damn. I finally found another one! Man. This gig ain't easy. Ever since I started, there's either a shit ton of disturbances, or no disturbances."

"Started? Are you the new guy that started a little more than a month ago. I got a letter in the mail talking about that."

"Well... I see you're well informed! Now let's get the fuck out of here already! Oh, and your name?"

"Oh... I'm... Fujimoto Shinichi." The young man said as he stated his name.

"What's the matter? You depressed or something?"

"I'm just not used to people asking me my name. Let's go already... It's so hot out here I think I'm gonna die."

And with that conversation over with, the duo had commandeered the vehicle and sped off, with Kai tossing an IOU at an anrgy man running out of a coffee shop stating he was a Death-Guard. In a matter of minutes, and nearly causing many traffic accidents, the duo had arrived at Ruball Colosseum. They had barely made it. There, they saw many people, which many of them were there to sign up.

"Geez. So many people still signing up. I wonder how many have already signed onto it..." Shinichi said whilst trying to get a better view "Still. Whoever wins is sure to get their moneys worth."

"How do you know?" Kai asked "Is this not crowd funded? Otherwise I would have heard about it on my shitty 30 inch television."

"It's crowded funded. But it has people who were willing enough to give a small loan for prize money. The S-Desu group."

"...Oh. Now it all makes sense." Kai said in a stoic tone as if he lost a bit of interest in the tournament.

"You okay?" Shinichi asked his new found friend and fellow Death-Guard.

"Yeah. Just a little disappointed."

"Why?"

"If a certain someone is there, then you'll find out for yourself."

As Kai and Shinichi walk forward in the line, they get close enough to get a glimpse of the people at the front registration desk near the entrance to the Colosseum "Hey... I think I see some people... HOLY SHIT!" Shinichi yelled whilst covering his mouth.

"What?" Kai asked his friend what he saw whilst continuing through the line.

"I-I can't believe who's over there at the front desk! I can't believe who the receptonist is!" Spoke Shinichi in a excited tone with drool coming down his mouth and walking further towards their destination "It's..."

"Yes?" Kai said.

"It's... One of the beautiful queen of ice herself! Esdeath!" Said Shinichi whilst turning his head towards Kai, shouting in his face, distracting them from the fact that they had already gotten to the very front.

"Yes. That's me. My name is Esdeath. I suppose you guys are fans of mi..." Esdeath said before looking up at the two of them "...Kai?"

"Ahh shit..." Kai said whilst face palming.

"Wait... You know her!?" Shinichi said whilst screaming at Kai "How the hell do you know her!? You're not an ex-lover are you!?"

"NO!" Both Kai and Esdeath said in unison.

"THEN WHAT!? CURRENT LOVERS!?"

"I'm his cousin you half wit!" Esdeath said whilst stating something that brought the whole area into a frenzy.

"Co...Cousins?"

"Yeah." Kai said in response to Shinichi "My mom is her moms sister. This is the thing I was afraid of."

"Why?" Shinichi had asked

"She's not the kind of person who'd be too happy if I won the tournament." Kai spoke whilst pulling him away to the side.

"Why not?"

"I convinced an old boyfriend of hers to break up when we were fifteen. The guy was no good. He was sneaking around with some other chick." He whispered to his friends ear about the past.

"So you think she'll hold a grudge against you and not let you enter?"

"Yeah."

As Kai is whispering to Shinichi, Esdeath rises from her seat, and begins to clear her throat "Are you gonna sign up or what? I'm not gonna stop you from taking an eventual ass kicking." Esdeath said with a gleeful smile on her face at the prospect of her cousin getting his shit handed to him by an opponent.

"Oh really?" Kai had smugly said "So then I suppose we have an accord to allow Shinichi AND me to compete in the tournament 2 months from now?" Kai said giving his estranged cousin a cocky smile, as if saying "Challenge Accepted".

"Sure. We'll let you in. Just don't run home crying to your mom when you lose against the special opponent we'll plan for you!" Esdeath said, in response to his smile of confidence.

"Is... Is that legal? To plan a special opponent for one person?"

"They're the reason this tournament has so many participants. They wouldn't risk losing the only thing that could make this thing rocket away from being a crowd funded tournament." Explained Kai, in confidence that he'll be more than prepared when the time comes for the tournament "So... Who's it gonna be? Anyone special?" Kai threw out the question to his cousin.

"That's a secret. But I gurantee you that it'll be good. It might even be me!"

"It's not." Kai quickly said in response.

"What!? And How the hell can you tell that!?" Esdeath yelled in disbelief.

"Oh please. I know there are plenty of canon actors who are waaaay different than they are in their series. And there are actors who're pretty on the mark. Unfortunately for you, since I've known you since we were kids, you're the former."

"Wha..."

"For one, you're not actually a sadist. You grew up watching the most cringe worthy of romance shows with only a touch of shonen action in your schedule. Secondly, you wouldn't even hurt a bee that stung you on the ass. All you did was worry if you angered the little fucker. And thirdly, you're only the kind of person who's sadistic with me. After all. You have a grudge against me that's about as bottomless as the ocean." Kai had asserted as he gave a small history lesson on his cousin who spent their childhood together " GAHAHAHAHAHA! I mean, you even were afraid of the hose that was used to fill your families pool when I was staying over at your place that one summer when we were 11 years old! All because my mom told you the hose is actually an evil snake! For someone who's supposed to be a sadist, you're not at all that violent! As if you'd ever bother fighting me yourself."

"Well..." Esdeath began speaking as some tears and an anguished face contorted upon her "YOU JUST WAIT AND SEE ASSFACE! I... I-I'm gonna win this bet anyways! You're gonna lose, and you know it!" Esdeath said whilst running off to the desk to sign them up "There! You're signed up! Now don't regret your decision!"

"Fine. The same to you toots." Kai said mockingly calling her toots.

With the signatures in place, both Shinichi and Kai had left the general area "So. I'm bored as fuck." Kai spoke whilst they walked down the sidewalk of the street after returning that man's car "So... What do we do now?"

"I'm hungry so I'm gonna order some pizza or something." Shinichi has said as he prepared to walk in the other direction "Well... Is it alright if I stick around your place a bit?"

"Why?"

"Well... My land lady is pissed at me. I have a bit of an issue that keeps me from paying rent on time as frequently as we'd like..."

"Yeah. I guess. Not like I have any problems with having a friend over."

"You sure? Isn't it kind of weird having a man stay over instead of girls?" Shinichi asked him with a weirded look.

"Are you fucking shitting me right now? Do I look like some mangina social justice warrior who worships females!? I can stand to have a bit of male company. I can stand not having a pussy to tear into every night. I'm not some poon hound!" Kai angrily iterated in response to Shinichi's odd question "I'll have you know I'm not lucky enough to have a fucking harem like some protagonists! So I'm about as normal as it comes when it comes to having female companions. Not that I've never invited females over."

"R-Right..."

And with that, the two of them went off to hang around at Kai's shitty apartment. Eventually they had reached there with Shinichi noticing the poor living that his friend takes up "You... You have a pretty shitty apartment huh?"

"Yeah. Used to have a luxury one. But that was when I had a job." Kai asked "So... What brings you to join the tournament? You don't look like you're used to fighting. You don't look like the kind of guy who's into shonen style fighting."

"Well... I'm in need of money too. And it's not that I can't fight or anything. My dad... Is a shonen action series canon character." Stated Shinichi.

"Oh... So's mine. My dad is a pretty wimpy guy. He was only in one series and only in one scene." Kai spoke, giving more of his family history.

"What series?"

"My dad was just some nameless Saiyan that was paid pretty much to die on planet Vegeta when Frieza blew it up. After that, he could never find anymore canon work, and has to work a meaningless job selling used shoes and earning commission for it. Mom also helps him out." A depressed Kai said, remembering his family and their deplorable state "My family is kinda fucked up though in a lot of ways... My mom is not typical in showing her family love. There's a reason I had to move out."

"That so?" Shinichi had responded with a look of slight worry.

"My mom tried to fuck me when I turned 18."

"I figured as much."

"Yeah. My dad doesn't see me much. But that doesn't explain why you seemed so reluctant though. So what's going on? Do you practice fighting only for the exercise?" Kai had asked, attempting to return to the topic at hand "Cause you seemed really down with the idea of fighting in that tournament."

"It's complicated" Responded a gloom filled Shinichi "It's not that I don't like fighting. I'm born for it partially. But I'm also fit for something else..."

"And that would be?"

"I... I'm an Otaku."

"..." A dead silence fills the room "And? Technically speaking I'm an otaku. I own a shit ton of lewd artwork of those shipgirls from Kancolle. Gotta love me some of that Haruna and Kongou girls. Considering where we LIVE, just about any hobo on the street corner is probably one too."

"It's more than that though..." Shinichi spoke as his head lowered, shadowing out his eyes.

"Do tell."

"I..." He spoke, as he began tembling "IT'S BECAUSE MY POWERS ARE TAILORED TO ME BEING A FUCKING OTAKU!" Shinichi spoke in an outcry of a loud burst of voice as he pumped his fist to his chest whilst holding his other hand onto his knee sitting in Indian style.

"WHOA! FUCKING CHILL MAN!" Kai yelled "What the fuck does that have to do with powers!? Tailored!?"

"You're a Shonen enthusiast yourself right? You should know who Shenron is..."

"Yeah. That's right. The canon dragon who commissions wishes based on a sacrifice right? The bigger the sacrifice the greater the wish. You commissioned a wish from him or something?"

"Yeah. It all happened about a few weeks ago." Shinichi spoke as a flashback sequence occurs from our POV "I was walking up to his residential area in the far east mountains in the holy dragons temple."

With a first person view, we look upon a mighty temple with Shenron wrapping himself through the air outside, smoking a pipe. We see Shinichi come walking up.

"Uhh... O-Oh M-Mighty dragon! I uhh..." the timid Shinichi spoke in the presence of the majestic being.

"Huh?" Spoke the dragon "What the hell do you want kid? If you're here to commission a wish, I'm busy."

"Busy with what? You're smoking a pipe."

"Like I said. Busy. You're gonna need something pretty good to go along with your wish offering to make me feel like doing anything today."

"I have some beer?"

"Are you fucking kidding me? Fuck off bruh."

"I also have lots of it!"

"FUCK. OFF." The dragon reiterated.

"I... I HAVE LEAKED NEWD PICS OF AKAME FROM AKAME GA KILL IN HI-RES!" Shinichi shouted, as he took out some photos of the famemd female character from the same series that Esdeath is from.

"...Let me see those." Shenron said, pulling up the photos with his tentacle mustache thing "...Now THAT. IS SOME FINE ASS." He iterated with a smile "I could probably sell these for a LOT of money. Okay. You got yourself a deal. In exchange for these I'll forgo the other offering. So what's your wish?"

"I want you to...Tailor my powers... To be based on my otaku interests."

"What was that!? SPEAK UP KID!" Shenron yelled whilst slamming his tentacle mustache onto some nearby cliff.

"I WANT YOU TO TAILOR MY POWERS TO BE BASED ON MY OTAKU INTERESTS!" Shinichi was welling up in the face and crying comically placed waterfalls of tears as he fell to his knees.

"Tailor? The fuck did you mean by that?" Kai spoke as we return to the present.

"Like... Being able to summon your favorite waifu's to save you from harm..." Shinichi had lowered his head some glowing red in the face as he mentioned his perverted interests.

"You mean like literally being able to summon your favorite magical girl to fight for you? What's wrong with that?" Kai asked.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? I CAN'T GO AROUND IN A TOURNAMENT SHOWING OFF SOMETHING LIKE THAT! i CAN'T EVEN SHOOT OUT ANY NAMED KI ATTACKS NOW! NOW ALL I CAN DO IS SHOOT OUT REGULARS!" He shouted "My parents disowned me after hearing about the wish I made. And the worse thing is that it wasn't what I hoped. I wanted it to actually summon them."

"And what? It summons some lifeless doll or something? Like summoning a lifeless Shana to come fight for you?"

"Well... No. It summons them with plenty of life. I wanted them to be summoned like they are in the show. But the powers just end up summoning their real life versions. Or as some might call it, their IN REAL FICTION versions considering we're fictional to the REAL world."

"So let me guess... Instead of summoning someone like say, Nanoha from Nanoha, with her glistening with speeches about befriending people, she's just complaining about not wanting to be there cause she doesn't want to ruin her nails?"

"That... Actually happened when I tried that. And the robots I have to pilot myself. The REAL shit factor is that they aren't even as powerful as they are. The power they have is based on my own..."

"I see. So even if you summoned someone like Frieza, he'd be several times weaker and on your level?"

"Exactly. No matter what it is, it'll always only be as strong as I am. Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be to show that off at the tournament!?"

"I guess so... Well. I'm gonna take a nap. You can do whatever aside from messing around with my kitchen. Just use the microwave if you're gonna eat something."

"Okay."

With a new friend in sight, and a new goal in mind that will help to keep his rent up, Kai will have to prepare himself for not only a whole 2 months worth of training, but also a whole 2 months of unknown encounters to come. Who will he meet? Who will he revisit? Check out next time as we begin to introduce more people to him, and introduce the prospect of a possible mentor for him.

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**Authors Notes.**

**So this chapter was... Interesting for me to write, to say the least. Esdeath being his cousin was somehting I thought up on the fly for some backstory and a more legit, you could say, reason why she'll even be there as much as I wanted. Keep in mind that this stories partial theme is the idea of "Real Fiction Vs. The Fiction of Fiction". As said, IN REAL FICTION is basically the fictional realm's version of "IRL". And like how there are deabtes of living in a fantasy over reality, there's going to be some themes on "living in the reality of the fictional world over the fantasy of the fictional world." Meant to be more like how real life actors who play villains all the time are not actually bad people. So keep in mind the nature of this story while reading it.**

**Next chapters are going to be more episodic. As in each chapter, or a series of chapters, will cover one type of episode in the daily life of Kai whilst prepping for the tournament. And I'm planning to use those chapters to flesh out the lives of the Death-Guards shown in chapter 2, the canon ones at least. And also to possibly introduce another OC who will have his own interactions with Kai. It was fun enough trying to write in Fujimoto Shinichi as a straight up otaku. Had to rewrite this chapter after having an epiphany of what would be better than what I had originally made.**


	4. Chapter 4: Oujo-Sama demands your beef!

**Alright. This is chapter 4. With this, Kai will have a bit of unwanted trouble, a fangasm towards the end, and a lot of issues with Matsunaga beef. So enjoy for what it's worth. And thanks for the last 2 reviews Slider No.11. As always, read it, review it, love it. For what it's worth.**

**The Not So Average Life Of An Average OC.**

**Chapter 4: Oujo-Sama demands your beef!**

**Genre: Comedy, Action, Adventure**

**All characters except my own are property of the respective owners. I take no part in the ownership, and the making of this story is for recreational purposes and writing exercises only. Although I take exercise a bit seriously. So sue me for tryin to be fit.**

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**Work is not always easy to come buy. And there are many types of work. For some, it means being able to get paid a wage of at least 10 dollars an hour. For others it means having to earn commission by selling dirty used shoes. Sometimes people even do freelance work. Not that they always workout. In this case, Kai is still broke as hell, with only enough savings to take care of rent until the tournament. But he doesn't have enough to stay sane during his times where entertainment will be needed. It's high time he kicks it in gear and make some money! And with a companion, will it make it any easier? Mmm... Probably.**

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As Kai is napping, from the end of our previous chapter, we come to find Shinichi, looking dreary, and getting off of his cell phone "...Umm, Kai?" Shinichi said whilst shaking Kai's shouler, who was lying on his side sleeping.

"What?" Kai spoke as he rubbed his eyes with his hand "You getting ready to leave now? Or did you already raid my fridge for everything and I have to go buy more groceries?"

"...No. Well yes. That too. But I have some... I guess bad news. And worse news." Shinichi said with a fake smile covering his worry and rubbing his grasped hands together.

"Bad news?"

"I just got a call from my friend who told me that the landlady of my apartmet evicted me because she hates my Otaku lifestyle..."

"Yeah. That does sound like bad news bruh." Kai said sitting at his coffee table with his chin resting on his hand "So what's the worse news?"

"I... Don't have a place to stay. And it's not so much worse news for me... As it is for..."

"Me, right? You need to crash here?"

"Yes?"

"I suppose we can split the rent."

"That's gonna be... A problem. I spend a lot on my Otaku interests..."

"Sigh... I suppose I can pay for 75% of the rent. The rest'll have to be paid by you." Kai said as he put his palm to his forhead.

"Seriously? That's great! Is there enough room for all my stuff?" Shinichi asked in a gleeful tone.

"What stuff?"

"You know... My... Dakimakuras and wall scrolls? I notice you have a bit of memorabilia of your own."

"...Sigh. Yeah. I can just move some stuff into my storage. Just put any plastic items in their. You can keep your dakimakura's and wall scrolls in here. But you have to give me three of em."

"FUCK YOU, THEY'RE MY WAIFU'S!" Shinichi shouted, as a dead silence came over the room "...Sorry. Fine..."

With everything in order, Shinichi left as the sky was turning dark and returned within an hour with his stuff, plastics in the apartment buildings storage, and the dakimakura's and wall scrolls laid out "So...Go ahead" he said as his eyes welled up with tears "Take your pick... Three of em right? Only three?"

"Yeah... Who's this?" Kai said pointing to the pillow of a red headed girl in a pink outfit.

"That's...My mom!"

"Seriously?"

"No... That's Yagyu Jubei from Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Girls. Please. Leave her alone." He said as he begged on his knees.

"I'm just fucking with ya. Keep your pillows man. Although I do love me some redheads. Now take your waifu's and put em somewhere. You can put em... Over there in that corner. I'll put out an extra futon there so you sleep with your precious waifus."

"Thank you!" Shinichi said grovelling at his hosts generosity "I ALMOST LOST YOU MY PRECIOUS JUBEI!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. So don't mind me asking. But how do you come up with money? I heard that if Death-Guards are OC's then they don't really keep prior jobs often. Are you OC?"

"Yeah. We're Death-Guards. Sure. But that doesn't mean we can't use that to our advantage."

"Meaning?"

"We can use our status for things like freelance work. Like being paid to investigate a specific issue over the general issues. Like someone stalking someone. We don't HAVE to do it for free. We just HAVE to do it." Shinichi said whilst he spread his dakimakura in the corner and began rolling around in them "So I do small time investigations into stalkers and do body guard duty for 18.99 an hour."

"So I can do this too?" Kai asked

"Yep!" Shinichi replied as he giddly continued to roll around with his waifu pillows "It's a good bit of work! Sure, a lot of people are afraid of us. But they aren't above a good service! And usually bigger canon actors are our target. They don't feel too afraid to come to us."

"Any paper work involved?"

"Nope. Just put your services out there on the web and it should net a decent amount of money. No one bothers to not pay considering who we are."

"So have you ever killed anyone for not paying?" Giving a glare, Kai asked this question.

"No. I've never had too. But if you wanna start, then just go online to Presentyourservices dot com."

"I see... This is a lot to think about. So I'm gonna hit the hey and sleep on it. Tomorrow I'm gonna buy some groceries." Kai said before turning off the light and preparing to fall asleep "And just so you know... There's no hot water. So if you wanna take a shower, enjoy shriveled up testicles."

"Thanks... I'm sure a little cold water is gonna shrivel up my balls. And one more thing. You can also advertise in person. So while going out you can advertise your services. Or on any service website."

"Sure. Now let me go to sleep. I gotta A LOOOOT to sleep on."

And with the coversation ended, sleep has befallen Kai and Shinichi. Eventually, dawn rears its shiny face and presents bright new chance at life for Kai. Getting preapred in the morning, he then leaves in dressed in a black t-shirt with white linings, blue jeans with a chain, and a quick slapped together business card printed out and everything.

"I'm leaving. If you're gonna jerk off or something do it in the bathroom and clean up when you're done, or do it in your corner and spray some lysol on any spots. And make sure to wash your body pillows when you're done. I'm not cleaning up another mans jizz stained sheets."

"I'm not that lonely! Geez!" Shinichi said whilst he hung up some wall scrolls.

As Kai leaves, and walks down the street to make his way to the grocery store. Eventually he makes his way and reaches his destination but to his shock. he sees something that amazes him beyond all belief "MATSUNAGA BEEF IS ONLY 5 SHINGS PER 5 POUNDs!? FUCKING A!" He yelled as he ran into the grocery store. Taking himself to a basket, he began to search around for stuff "Hmm... I'm gonna go get that Matsunaga beef last. I still have to see what else is on sale." Making his way, taking some milk, bottled water, vegetables, and fruits, he finally prepares himself to take hold of his precious Matsunaga Beef "Damn. Matsunaga beef is so expensive I can't even usually afford a single pound. But now I can afford at least 15 pounds of it!" As he makes his way, he passes through close to the front of the store, taking note of a disturbance between two individuals.

"What do you mean you won't do it!? An OC like you should be honored to do such a service for me!" Shouted a young blonde lady wearing a strange school uniform.

"Fuck that!" Screamed the OC dressed in a black motorcycle jacket and brown jeans with black boots. His hair slicked back, and a scar over his right eye "Do I look stupid!? You want me to be your body guard!? Just to protect you from that!? Fuck you!"

"Mason! Teach this man a lesson!" She yelled as one of two large dark skinned bald men approached the OC.

"Yes ma'am!" The man said "As a fellow OC it pains me to do this. But milady has spoken!" And with a powerful thrust of from the mans hands, the man was thrown into the area that held the meat, and landed straight into the Matsunaga beef, causing a few to get thrown towards the front, with the rest to the sides.

"Whoops!" Kai said whilst nabbing the beef that was coming to the front and nonchalantly ignoring the situation "Think I'll pick up a few more over there" He said walking over to the beef section.

As he gets there, the man who was knocked into it rose "Fictional characters can't normally die..." The man whispered enough to hear "BUT I'M GONNA MAKE YOU WISH YOU WERE DEAD FOR EVER FUCKING WITH CHARMICHAEL CINDERS!"

"Pfft..." Kai gave a light chuckle "Charmichael. Fucking kidding me?"

"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The man known as Charmichael roared as he burst into black flames and morphing into a mighty demon like creature with 4 horns, 2 elongated arms, seven tails, and seeming to be made of black flames "I''LL FUCKING MAKE YOU WISH I WAS A DEATH GUARD!

"..." A dead silence fell over Kai as his mouth hung open in anguish from the fact that the other OC's transformation had burned all of the available Matsunaga beef.

"Oh boy..." Said a store clerk "That was our last supply of Matsunaga beef. There ain't no sale today now."

As the two guard of the lady battled it our with the creature in the store, Kai rose from his feet, approaching the area of the battle.

"Stop fighting, this is pointless! You should already know your place as an OC!" Yelled the young lady with an aura of haughtyness "Now just learn your place and do what I ask!"

"TO HELL WITH YOU! ILL BREAK YOUR JAW SEVEN TIMES OVER BEFORE I DO ANYTHING FOR YOU!" The beast yelled before having to turn his back to someone tapping his shoulder, turning to see Kai standing before him "Huh? What the hell do you want?"

"Dude. Do you know like Matsunaga beef?" Kai asked with a blank stare starring at the large transformed man "I mean... Do you even know what Matsunaga beef is?"

"Of course I know what it is! What the hell does that have to do with this!?"

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah? What about it!?"

"Do you know how expensive it normally is?" Kai said putting his right hand on the creatures left shoulder.

With a small look of confusion and a voice of annoyance the creature spoke "Yes?"

"THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU BURN ALL OF IT!" Kai yelled out, as if his voice was being amplified by several hi-def sound systems, as he threw a massive right hook into the beef killers jaw sending him flying into three buildings away.

"OH, GOD!" One of the large dark skinned guards said in a stereotypical engrish accent "INCREDIBLE!"

"Hoooo... That's not bad there. Who're you?" The blonde haired lady spoke, directing her voice towards Kai.

"The Matsunaga Avenger." Kai spoke as he laid on one knee for a moment of silence for his beloved Matsunaga.

"Not that! You're name you silly simpleton. You should be honored that, one such as I, is asking for the name of one who is obviously an OC!" She said whilst putting her hand to her chest in an overly dignified manner.

"And you are?" Kai had asked in response "Can't quite say I'm familiar with a canon girl such as yourself." Kai said while rising to his feet.

"How rude! To not know who I am!" She said stomping her foot "Guan!" She said, addressing the engrish speaking man "Present this foolish OC with my credentials!"

"YES MA'AM! HERE YOU GO BOI! THIS IS HER BUSINESS CARD!" Said the guard as he threw the card to Kai.

"Lilith?" Kai said, reading the card aloud.

"Lilith Bristol!" Spoke the lady as she introduced her full name "I am Lilith Bristol! Surely you've heard of Absolute Duo!"

"Can't say I have." Throwing away the card in the garbage, Kai began to walk off "Bye. Oh, and nice rack by the way."

"Thank you... Wait what!? Is that how you leave a lady? By telling her she has a nice chest!? I still haven't been given your name!"

"Fine. Murakami Kai. The Matsunaga Avenger."

"Murakami Kai! I demand that you become my 24/7 body guard!" She said, as she addressed him before he could leave.

"What? Why?"

"I was originally going to have that OC do it. But I've decided on you since you ended up manhandling him in one punch."

"Well... At least I made on person proud."

"What?"

"Nothing. I refuse though." He said in retort to her demand.

"Great! We can start... EHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Are you kidding me!? How can you just ignore me like that!?"

"Because I have things to do, and groceries to buy. Most of the food here is burnt to a crisp now."

"I'll buy you food. Just become my body guard!"

"No thanks."

"I'll buy you Matsunaga beef. As much as you want!" She said whilst pointing at him.

"You'll buy me all the Matsunaga beef I want!" Kai said as he turned quickly around with a bit of joy in his eyes.

"IF you become my body guard!"

"Then fuck it. I can wait." Kai said, as he walked off into the still early morning "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some business cards to hand out. So unless you pay me, I'm not interested."

"But I can pay you. I'll pay you 2 shings a week!"

"You're a fucking cheapskate you know that?" He said finally making his way down the street with Lilith soon following.

Meanwhile, in Kai's apartment we come to see Shinichi watching an anime "God the girls in this anime are soooooooo fucking hot! I would kill to be able to make Super Saiyan babies with anyone one of em!" He said as he drooled from the mouth of the cute and sexy designs of the anime girls "Nanoha really has a great figure!"

"So this is his apartment is it?" Said a voice near an open window "Not too glamorous that's for sure."

"Who's there!?" Shinichi said as he turned towards the window "Holy shit! It's you! Lord Beerus!"

"Oh. Well if it isn't Shinichi." The mighty cat deity said staring upon his fellow Death-Guard "Is Kai here?"

"No. He went to get groceries."

"I see! Hopefully he'll make us something to eat then! I wonder how well he can cook!"

"You wanna watch this anime with me!? These girls are smoking hot!"

"I am a purple cat deity you know. Not exactly humanoid by nature."

"Bah, who cares!"

"Good point!" Beerus spoke as he plopped down in Indian style and glued his eyes to the screen "Oooh. That is some fine ass there."

Meanwhile, back outside in the city, Kai is making his way through the city, in an attempt to locate the best place to sell his services. Lilith can be seen walking with him with grocery bags in her hands, filled with Matsunaga Beef "You know, you didn't have to go and buy all that Matsunaga beef. I'm not doing it."

"It might help lessen the wait time for when you do agree." She said confident that she'll have her way "Now do what a body guard should do and carry these!"

"Fine. You're not getting them back though."

"Never mind. I'll carry them." She said moving the bags away from his hands "What are you doing anyways?"

"Advertising my services."

"But..."

"TO PEOPLE WHO PAY GOOD MONEY!" He said, turning half way and pointing his finger at her "I'm not trying to be a body guard specifically. I'm giving out Death-Guard freelance services."

"You... You're a Death-Guard?" Lilith spoke as she stopped her feet dead cold in the concrete "So..."

"So what? You scared?"

"THAT'S PERFECT! That means you'll be able to handle my work all too well!" Spoke Lilith with a bright smile.

"Yeah, well here's where we part ways cause I'm getting tired and I'm going home. And considering we're only a few blocks away, I'm going to just go straight there." Within a few minutes, Kai reached his apartment door... But with an unwanted guest "The fuck are you still doing following me? GO HOME!"

"Well I refuse that! Just like you refuse my demands."  
"Fine. Whatever. You gonna throw that Matsunaga beef out or should I just cook that for dinner?"

"Fine. I suppose it's a waste of money to not use it." She said as she handed him the beef.

As he opens the door, to his surprise, Beerus was seen napping on his floor and Shinichi eating what little ice cream they had left from his freezer "Dude. What's Beerus doing here?"

"He was looking for you." Shinichi responded before opening his mouth in a gaping fashion "Holy fucking hell! You brought a girl with you!? And it's... Lilith Bristol!?"

"Oh, so there are some men of good taste here!" She spoke as she lit up a little "That is correct! I am Lilith Bristol! You may grovel if you wish."

"It'll be my pleasure milady!" Grovelled Shinichi.

"Dude... Don't you have some fucking dignity?" Kai asked as he face palmed.

"NOPE! I'M A BIG FAT MASOCHIST!"

"Well at least that's explained..." Kai said as he walked toward Beerus "Hey. Beerus! Lord Beerus!? Magic cat man! Wake up!" He had yelled whilst shaking the destroyer god awake.

"Huh?" In a cat like fashion, Beerus awoke, licking his wrist and rubbing it on his eye "Oh. You're home! Good."

"You needed to see me or something?"

"Yes. Uhhh... but first, I heard you went grocery shopping. I don't supposed you'd allow a hungry kitty to partake in the feast with you?"

"That'd be fucking awesome! It's Matsunaga beef too!" Kai said as he was delighted to have one of his favorite recent canon characters staying over.

"Oooh. Sounds fancy!"

After some time, the dinner was made, and eaten by all 4 people.

"I'm surprised that you managed to cook that so well."

"Well, I helped too." Shinichi spoke "So what brings you here anyways? You wanted to speak to Kai right?"

"Yes... Well. Let's get to it then. Oh, and I've decided to include you as well Shinichi."

"Me!? Why?"

"You've been slacking a bit in your duties and your points are falling." Beerus spoke with a more serious look on his face "You don't want to drop in rank again do you?"

"I'm sorry... Rank?" Kai interjected.

"You didn't know?" Shinichi responded "The Death-Guard have rankings going from E to D to C to B to A to S. The higher you are the more on top of the food chain you are. The higher you are, if you're a rank S then you get to join one canon series. That's how Beerus got to be in Dragon Ball Z Battle Of Gods."

"Oh... WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME!?"

"It wasn't neccessary at the moment. Now for the real issue. I heard you plan to join a tournament. Am I correct?"

"Yeah."

"What about me? I have business here to!" Lilith had chimed in.

"Not now child, we're discussing Death-Guard business." Beerus spoke demanding her to be silent "If you're going to join this tournament, then I have a bit of a treat for you! Since there will be a large chance of your cousin attempting to attract many strong and dangerous opponents knowing you're going to be there, you should train."

"Yeah? What about it?" Kai asked.

"How's about I have my own disciple Frieza train the both of you?" Beerus said as he gave Kai a smile and a look of expectation that expected an utter fangasm.

"Are you serious?" Kai had presented said question.

"Yes."

"...Plorgh!" Kai collapsed to his back, with Shinichi and Lilith scurrying over to him to see if he was okay, to find he had fainted and was foaming from the mouth.

* * *

**With Beerus news, and Lilith's pestering, it seems that Kai will have a lot to work on before he can relax. Find out next time what happens as we see what Kai's answer will OBVIOUSLY be and how he'll handle Lilith's demands for his assitance. Why does she need a body guard? Let's find out next time.**

* * *

**Authors notes: So this chapter was a shorter than the others. Not by much IMO but whatever. It was a little tough trying to think of the proper Oujo type girl. But I wanted to give a not so easy start for Kai and his Death-Guard work with canon characters. And with Frieza being offered as a mentor to him and Shinichi, there's a lot right now to work with. The chapters won't be going by fast. So if the future chapters don't feel like 2 months worth and feel a lot longer, then that's because it's supposed to be that way. A lot I want to do before that tournament comes around. Like introduce more OC's like Shinichi.**

**So stick with it if you will.**


	5. Chapter 5: Shampoo, Ninjas, & Cool Moves

**Chapter 5 has finally been released bruh. It took a while, but here I am, with chapter 5, wet panties, and lucky bastards. I had to type this up on my phone with this new app I bought as a test. So it might, like before, have a few spelling mistakes here or there. IF there is, then so sorry. That's the way the cookie crumbles.**

* * *

**The Not So Average Life Of An Average OC.**

**Chapter 5: First Encounters &amp; Train To Be A Tyrant!**

**Genre: Comedy, Action, Adventure**

**Oujo's. Basically in anime, they're guaranteed about 95% of the time to be pretentious pricks in one way or another. And many times, you'll find yourself on the receiving end of their temper. Training. It's how one becomes stronger. By suffering through the most grueling of exercise's, resting appropriately, and then doing it again. In some cases, it even goes so far as to almost kill you. In Murakami Kai's case, he might just have to deal with both of these in spades. Let's see if he squirms or man's up. Or both. And in the last chapter, Kai met some Oujo who wants a body guard. Now he's being told he'll be trained by non other than his dear villainous idol Frieza. What else can go right and wrong for him?**

* * *

"Hey!?" shouted Beerus as he shook Kai awake "Wake up!" with a poke to the forhead, he had awoken Kai who awoke in a craze.

"NO, DON'T POP ME, I'M ONLY A WEASEL!" Kai screamed out as he awoke from a strange, yet familiar night terror "Wha!? What happened?"

"Dude, you passed right the fuck out." Shinichi said as he grabbed Kai's shoulder, giving it a slight rub to ease off the night terror "Beerus said Frieza would train us remember?"

"Yeah... I just didn't expect something that awesome to just pop up onto me. It's almost like the feeling I expected to get if I had become a canon character in something like a Miyazaki film..." Said Kai as he rubbed his eyes with his arm.

"Yes... Well. That's all well and done." Said Lilith "But what about my body guard!?"

"I told you I'm not doing it! I'm not gonna take the time out of my day to stay by your side 24/7 when I could be stopping disturbances and breaking up the mundane I have going on."

"Well, why not?" Beerus had interjected.

"What? Why not!? Because it's a waste of time! 24/7!?" Shinichi said "Even I don't go 24/7 with one person when doing work!"

"Well it's not like we're going to hold it against you to take a little detour." Beerus said with a slight snicker "24/7 now doesn't mean 24/7 forever. There must be a reason our young... Eh... Endowed lady friend needs a strapping and... Ehem... powerful man such as yourself." Beerus gave a slight chuckle at mentioning the word powerful.

"Is this true? Do you have a reason other than just because?" Kai had asked whilst giving her a doubtful look.

"I... I do. I feel that I'm... being stalked by someone." She said with a worried look on her face "So do your job and assist me 24/7!"

"Sigh... Is this okay for me to do?" He said looking at Beerus, asking him.

"Sure. Your training will only be 3 days a week anyways, after the initiations. We can start after she's been satisfied. And you'll have plenty of time to try and make some extra money along the way."

"Alright then. You've got yourself a deal Lilith Bristol. For now." Kai agreed as he rose from his seat and gave a quick look out his window.

"Did you see something?" Shinichi asked him.

"No... It's nothing." He said as he turned to Lilith "I'll investigate this for you and guard you. But if nothing happens then don't be mad if I just up and give up."

"What!? Come on!" Lilith burst as she yelled in defiance.

"Don't get pissed at me! I have a life. I can't just spend all my waking time guarding someone from what might be a wild goose chase."

"He's got a point you know." Beerus chimed in "Either way, it's all been decided now right? Kai will guard little miss Bristol's rear end from any possible anal rapists. And you'll start your training in 3 days. Today is Tuesday. So that means on a Friday. Be ready."

"Gotcha!" Kai said, equipped with a 2 fingered salute itself.

"Good. I'm taking my leave then. Enjoy your time while you can. Frieza is a killer when it comes to training. Despite what the series will lead you to believe."

With a soar to the sky, Beerus flew off and it was close to night already "So. It's kind of late. I'm gonna clean up and go to bed."

"What about walking me home!? You're supposed to be my body guard correct!?" Lilith had spoken. "You can't just leave a lady such as myself to walk the streets alone! Not after I sent my own guards home in anticipation for you!"

"What? You expect me to start now? You expect me to walk you home every night and to meet you at your house every morning!?"

"Of course!" She said "How else can this work!?"

"Well I'm making an executive decision. It's not safe enough if you actually are in danger from something like a stalker. So you're staying here." He said as he pulled out another extra futon left over from the previous tenant.

"Are you out of your mind!? I can't sleep in this cramped space with men! What if you touch me or something?" She yelled as she covered her chest and placed her hand to her lower region.

"But... You're from a harem series. And one of the most in-character haremettes." Shinichi interjected.

"What did you say she's from?" Kai asked.

"Do you not know? A harem series is basically this in a lot of cases. One guy is the main character with a bunch of super interesting girls who fall in love with him." He said with a slight gleam to his eyes "The girls are many times the most love struck people who try so hard to take the guys virginitiy... And little miss Bristol is one of the most in character actresses."

"In-character?" Kai asked Shinichi as Bristol sat there a little nervous.

"It's the slang for an actor or actress who's REALLY much like they are in the series. In this case, she fell in love with the actor who played Tooru in Absolute Duo. A lot of times they actually pull a bunch of really well liked guys, who actually took classes on swooning women in private colleges for these roles. It's not much wonder why she fell. Other times the men are from hand picked families by the girls families to be child hood friends."

"So you're willing to let a guy you barely knew stick his dick into you, but you won't stay in the same house as the body guard you so desperately need?" Kai pointed lightly, in a odd sounding relaxed fashion, speaking.

"Y...Yes. What about it?" She responded sheepishly.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO TO SLEEP BEFORE I MAKE YOUR NIGHTMARES A REALITY!" He burst out suddenly as he grabbed her by the waist and threw her under the covers of the extra futon "Now be a good little girl and go to sleep! Unless you're so dead set on thinking of me as a pervert that you want me to get rid of my own morals and be one." He said as he gave her a look of annoyance "I'll make every hole you have smell like my dick."

"F-Fine." She timidly replied as she pulled the covers over the lower half of her face

As sleep falls over the city of Ark, Beerus and Frieza are discussing something over two cups of pudding and two bottles of soda "So. How does he look as far as becoming a Death-Guard Lord Beerus?" Frieza said whilst sipping on the pudding.

"He's wet behind the ears. He currently lacks the drive to be a Death-Guard past wanting to make money off of it. But he's not at all unsalvagable." Beerus responded with a quick bite of pudding and a look of glee "He just needs to meet people who will help him warm up to the essence of doing this job. I just hope it happens soon. We're gonna need all the help we can get to investigate this mess."

As we pan out to the sky, it's now morning and there's a huge ruckus coming from the apartment "What do you mean you don't have coconut oil based shampoo!?"

"It's what I said! I don't have that fucking shampoo here!" Kai lashed out at Lilith demaning him to give her a brand of shampoo he doesn't have.

"Its not just shampoo! It works for everything! And I only use natural cleansers when i shower! You should be honored I'm even bothering to use your low grade shower!"

"I am not your butler! I'm a fucking body guard!"

"How is that different!?" she screamed out.

"One is paid to pamper you! The other is paid to get in the way of potential death for you! So shut up and just get in the damn shower and wash your damn hair! Or don't. You can just sit around all day with dead skin shedding off of your breasts."

"Fine!" She yelled as she stomped off to the shower "Just answer the door when my guards come to bring me my extra uniform. And don't peek!"

"What the hell is going on!?" Shinichi yelled in a daze as he finally woke up.

"Little miss princess over there can't stand to use our austere brand of shampoo to wash her perfect blonde hair! Next thing you know she's gonna be demanding that I get her some sort of useless breast growth formula. Not that she needs it."

"Yeah, whatever. God, you guys are louder than Godzilla if he were a woman and on his period..." Shinichi said as he dropped back into bed and passed right out.

*15 minutes later.*

"Sigh…" Lilith sighed as she exited the bathroom, fully clothed of course "I'm ready."

"Ready for what?" Kai asked, sitting at his small coffee table as he munches on a bag of potato chips with a plain and simple look on his face.

"Why to escort me into town of course." She said with a gleeming smile "I have shopping to do and as my body guard, I'd expect you to follow."

"Quick question though." Shinichi asked her suddenly.

"What is it?"

"Do you have any clues as to who might be stalking you?"

"What do you mean?" She asked confusingly.

"As in who do you think, or what do you think, is chasing you." Shinichi explained "It's not that hard to understand. And do you have any evidence?"

"Of course!" She said as she puffed out her chest a bit on annoyance to the question "I'm... Pretty sure I'm being chased by an assassin of sorts who wants to kill me."

"You're pretty sure?" Kai asked her "That's not much to go by. What makes you so sure it's an assassin? Let alone someone who could even kill you, a fictional character."

"That's also obviously gotta be a rouge Death-Guard if that's the case." Shinichi said.

"Rogue?" Kai had asked with a plain look of curiosity

"Rouge Death-Guards is the term for basically what were investigating right now. The culprit who murdered Mister Saitama is a Death-Guard. That's what makes him a rogue."

"Oh. Well I'm pretty retarded there then." He responded as he scratched the top of his head through his thick spiky black hair "So. What makes you think you have this stalker assassin? Let alone being able to kill you?"

"About 2 weeks ago I noticed a large ninja like figure walking behind me. He didn't look like any canon character. He also looked like he had blades coming out from the side of his arms…" She said as she comedically tried to use her hands to form the crude shape of the unfamiliar suspect "That one time by itself would be okay, but…"

"He showed up more after that?" Kai asked the now seemingly nervous Lilith.

"Like 12 other times, and I'm positive he was looking right at me!"

"Alright fine. Calm down. What makes you think he even could kill you though is the main issue."

"The last time I saw him he was holding a bloody head…"

"You sure this wasn't just some looney with a fake head?" Shinichi said with a suspicious look upon his face.

"Whatever. We'll keep an eye out for that…" Kai said as he got up from his feet "Now let's get going already."

Heading out, Shinichi with them, they make their way to the shopping districts to pick up whatever expensive overrated products Lilith might desire.

"Alright now my obedient chauffeur. Carry these bags for me whilst I acquire some new bathing materials for that dull shower of yours. A body guard of mine isn't permitted to be a simple peasant!" Lilith said she she threw her hands out expecting Kai to hold her bags "…Well?"

"First, I'm not your butler." He said, despite grabbing the bags anyways "Second, only I decide what my shower uses. And you, being the person who came crying for help, are in no position to be demanding anything so personally intrusive of my home making decisions."

"Fine. Then just wait by the entrance while I head into this store…" Lilith said as she walked through the front sliding doors of a store.

As we follow her into it, we see that the store is littered with layers of bottles of hair cleaners, body washes, facial scrubs, and all sorts of other products with either fancy names or exotic sounding ingredients. Picking out some items, she makes her way to the cashier clerk, ready to check out.

"Will this be all ma'am?" The clerk questioned Lilith.

"Yes. Do make this quick because I have to be…" Lilith said before being stopped suddenly as she began to sweat a little from the feeling of an odd sudden presence.

"Ma'am? Are you feeling alright?" Asked the clerk before Lilith stormed off in a dash of lightning fast speed "Wha…What the hell is wrong with kids these days."

As she speeds past the front doors, she not only tossed up dust in her rush, but ran past even her body guards "What the fuck is up with her!?" Shinichi asked Kai as he got back on his feet.

"Either she has to take the longest piss her bladder could ever hold, or she's in serious trouble." Kai responded "I'm a man of my word so I may as well see this to the end, even if it makes me feel like I'm wasting my time."

Returning to the scenery of Lilith dashing like lightning, kicking up dust and people, she comes to a halt at a street corner, catching her breath "Sigh… It's that presence again. I didn't see him. But it had to be the same freak. I have to pee…" She said as she quickly walked off to the closest stores bathroom, relieving herself. Eventually she returns to the front of the store, sighing in relief "Sigh… I don't know what to do… I could still feel that… Icy chilling feeling… That feeling of…" She said before she was cut off by a sudden voice.

"That feeling of icy, cold, soul reaving death…" Said a voice with a filthy blood curtling echo.

"HIII!" Lilith squeaked as she turned to her left and looked up to see a large figure, matching her previous description of her stalking assassin standing ontop of a stop light, wielding two weapons that resembled tonfa pairs but with what looked like katana blades.

"At last… I have found you by yourself, dear child."

"Wha… WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?" The stripling blonde beauty spoke in fear.

"You don't need to know… You just need to…" Before the dark ninja like figure finished he found himself cut off suddenly by a familiar voice.

"To die, right?" The voice said. As Lilith and the man raise their heads further, seeing none other Kai, who had taken upon himself a squatting position with his arms resting on knees, on the top of a small building "So someone really was after your life huh?" He spoke as he gave a quick glance with a smug smirk towards the large man, and giving a more reassuring smile towards Lilith.

"So you got a name there freak?" Shinichi asked.

With the leer sent to the man, the large man jumped down from his position and pointed one of his weapons towards Kai and Shinichi "My name is of no concern to foolish mortals such as yourselves! But if you must insist… I AM THE DARK WIND STRIDING NINJA OC, KASHOU-SAMA!"

"Right." Kai said as he hopped down to the streets in between Lilith and Kashou "And I suppose you're gonna tell me you're some kind of ninja royalty, descended from some long line of dark ninja mages, mister 8th grade syndrome." Kai continued as he once again gave smug, confident smile, showing a bit of teeth to his potential adversary "Now if you'll excuse us, we have official Death-Guard business. Stuff that I assume is something that you would be wise to say you're not involved with."

"Oh… So you two ingrates are Death-Guards? Doing your duty is long been a death worthy tradition practiced by fools with strength. The strong take what they want! And that woman will be my bride! Either she is mine, or she, and her filthy harem protagonist, shall die!" The mighty seeming Kashou said as he once again pointed his sword to Kai, this time closer to his face "And on my status as a Death-Guard… I shall take your head too if I must."

"I suggest you put that toy down before you break it kid. You look like your 8th grade syndrome is even worse than I imagined it to be." Kai said ass he grabbed Lilith by the shoulder "Now come one Lilith, if you're good then I'll compliment your beautiful prim and proper hair."

"NO! DO SOMETHING ABOUT HIM, PLEASE!" Lilith begged as tears came from her eyes.

"Now now. There's no reason to kill him if we can avoid it right? Do you really think it would look pretty?" Kai said, continuing to push Lilith further down the sidewalk.

As they take three steps further, we see the figure of Kashou standing behind them, roaring with a flaming energy as his blades begin to glow red "You dare to tempt the fury of Kashou-Sama… The black hole of the black sun?" He whispered as he began to walk towards them.

With the swing of his mighty muscle toned arm, his weapon, roaring with energy, came screeching towards Kai, Shinichi, and Lilith who were walking down the sidewalk.

Lilith turns, only to notice the ever closing death of red fury soaring towards them "Look out for…" She was about to finish before Kai suddenly turned his head faster than a bullet, biting his jaw down upon the red blade, snapping it into pieces.

As everyone aside from Shinichi stood there, frozen, Kai spat out pieces of metal, and began to throw his hands into the air, cheering "Holy shit! I can't believe that worked! It was like in One Punch Man! I've always wanted to do something like that! I'm lucky he wasn't all that strong."

"…I can't even… I…" Kashou sat there, frozen, and speechless.

"How bout it? You done with that 8th grade syndrome garbage?" Kai said after composing himself from his fangasm "Or do you wanna try to see if I can't do the same to anything else, Mister rouge Death-Guard?"

"I…I'm good. I think I'm gonna see my therapist…" Kashou said as he limped off towards wherever his therapist was.

"Excellent." Said Kai, before turning his attention to Lilith "Hey. You didn't get scuffed did you?"

"No… Not really."

"Good. Then I suppose this concludes our business." Kai patted her shoulder "Since it didn't take too long, and your kind of cute, I guess I can afford to let you have a freebie, but only one." Said Kai while walking off with Shinichi.

"Wait!" Lilith stopped them "…Here." She handed handed a white piece of paper to Kai.

"What the hell is this?" Kai asked as he looked at the paper 'It's an address."

"Y-Yeah. It's mine... We're friends now right?"

"I suppose we are…"

"As a friend, would you come to help keep if I needed it?"

"Uhh, I guess. I don't see why not, if you actually consider me a friend and not just a handy meat bag?"

"Then, as friends, you can come by my house! We can hang out… And have some special fun." Lilith said, giving a bit of a wink with a slight bit of seduction to her voice, giving Kai a bit of a surprise as she walked off.

"Aside from the obvious, why the sudden change?" He said before she left "What about your other special friend?"

"Don't think you didn't see it coming after acting all cool back there. It's not like I'm leaving my past life or something. But a girl needs to open her borders, and I am a haremette, afterall!" She yelled back to him with a grin "So don't be afraid to try your hand at seducing me! You might find it easier than you think!"

As she runs off to return home, Kai and Shinichi waving, Kai turns to Shinichi "I don't suppose you're stereotypically gonna scream how jealous you are, are you?" He asked his glasses wearing friend.

"Hey, I'm not that pathetic. Fuck her brains out for all i care. Though I do have to admit that blondes are kind of an easy lay you know."

"Yeah, I think I'll pass. She's probably too young for me anyways. Like, 15. Not that our laws are the same here as in the prime universe. But I gotta hold myself up to some kind of standard at least."

Shinichi smirked whilst putting his hands to the air, walking off "Suit yourself. Let's go do some more shopping! I'm in need of some more games! I know a game you're gonna love!"

"Yeah yeah, whatever you say Shinichi… Hey wait up! You better make sure you don't spend it all on games! We need to pay rent eventually!"


	6. Chapter 6: Cake And Maids Of Steel

**Here's chapter 6. I think I had a lot of fun with this. You better as well. It wasn't easy trying to badassify a straight up otaku with pure mean muscle. But I tried and I think I made it. NOW CONSUME THIS FESTIVAL OF MY IMAGINATION.**

**Read it, Review it, Love it.**

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**The Not So Average Life Of An Average OC.**

**Chapter 6: A Tyrants Cuisine! Emperor Frieza's cake and maids of steel!**

**Genre: Comedy, Action, Adventure**

**Training is a staple of Shonen action and Seinen action series. Even in our world, we must suffer to grow in strength. But… Has anyone really been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like? This is one of the brain dead statements one might say from even so much as taking a weeks worth of training from someone of the space tyrant Frieza's caliber. Kai will find out first hand, with his friend Shinichi tagging along, just how bad this is for them.**

**Will he come out a damaged monkey? Or will he walk out with new strength? Or both? Let's find out in this chapter.**

**The red carpet has now rolled itself out and making way for the crack of dawn upon Ark City and its denizens. The crack of dawn had woken Kai from his sleep as he rises from his green blanket and out of his futon.**

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"YAAAAWWWWWWN!" Kai opened his mouth to expell his lungs morning spells and prepared himself some instant coffee. Walking out to his small balcony to stare at the streets below, he finds himself sighing as he thinks of what he would learn from the training with the lord of terror and destruction coming up soon "Hey, Shinichi?" He asked his half asleep comrade.

"Hmmmm…What?" Shinichi wiped his eyes clear as a lethargic tone rolled off his toungue.

"What's it like being trained by Frieza?"

"How should I know? All I heard was that his training methods are worshiped like a religion by sado-masochists."

As Kai takes a moment to breathe in the morning air, he gets back away from the balcony and into his apartment. Getting dressed in a pair of black denim jeans and an unbottoned short sleeve black button down shirt mixed with a white t-shirt, he finishes his coffee before putting his blue tennis shoes in and heading out the door. With Shinichi following suit, Kai pulls out a letter that was directed to him from Beerus. Opening it, Kai reads it to Shinichi…

"Yo, Kai. The address you're supposed to meet Frieza at is contained in this letter. You'll be meeting him at 12501 Maanland Fields. Good luck. You'll need it… Signed Beerus, your pudding loving kitty cat."

"Maanland Fields? Where the hell is that?" Kai asked Shinichi with a look of bewilderment.

"Those are basically the sticks. The countryside to the left of Ark City leading into the city farthest to the north." Shinichi responded pointing his finger over the horizon.

"Alright then. Maanland Fields it is. I don't suppose we can take a teleport station there?" Kai asked.

"That's how everyone does it these days." Shinichi stated whilst reaching into the pockets of his typical red and white tracksuit "I have these tickets for any one trip of our choosing leading up to 500 miles. It should only take off about 200 miles from the tickets to get there."

"Then let's get to it! Thank the heavens for easy access!" Kai began marching off with a vigorous step towards the teleport station direction, with only their essentials in a backpack.

Arriving within minutes to the nearest station, they are greeted by the station attendant "Good morning good sirs. Welcome to Ark City Teleport Station #6. How can we assist you today?"

"Two tickets, to Maanland Fields!" Kai said as he handed her the two tickets.

"Thank you sir. Please, head to the two pods and enjoy your instant transmission to your final destination" The attendant pointed them to the teleporters, as they walk towards them for their journey.

"I've never actually used these before… What are they like?" Shinichi asked as he tapped Kai's shoulder.

"You never used these before?" Kai replied with a look of worry.

"Yeah. Why?"

"No reason..."

Finally stepping into the teleporters, the attendant presses a button while sending a salutation to them "Happy teleporting." The attendant said as they were sent off into a whirl of atom rearranging and other such Spacey things that the real world would only dream of at the moment.

In a matter of moments the two found themselves in front of a new station underneath two overhead lamp like devices, being surrounded by small shops, old looking signs, small houses, and large mountainous areas with many odd fixtures in the distance that might be ruins of some sort.

With a sigh of relief and a breath of sheer vigor taken "Yeehaw Take in that ol country air Cleetus!" Kai shouted in a stereotypical southern redneck accent, whilst lightly slapping Shinichi on the back.

"My name's not Cleetus…" Shinichi responded as he was on his knee's hurling a little.

"I thought that might happen. Not easy to deal with for a first timer when you're having your entire fabric separated and transported somewhere several times faster than light, and then rearranged back in a different location." Kai spoke as he patted the man on the back.

"Whatever… Let's just get going…" Shinichi said ass he wiped his mouth with a cloth.

"Whatever you say Cleetus! Time to hit the old dusty trail" Continuing the Redneck routine as he walks off with a map in hand.

After almost an hour of walking, leading to a literal dusty trail, and giving a rest to the Cleetus shtick, our comrades have found themselves approaching a very open field, with only three cabin-esque dwellings, and a very crisp air about it. The air seemed to exude a literal scent of completely brittle peace and tranquility.

"Well… Here we are." Kai said as he dropped to his ass with the backpack falling to the ground "A nice little piece of what would be considered heaven on Earth if we were actually on Earth."

As Kai laid himself open underneath the big blue sky of the land, he asked Shinichi "So he will be here, right?"

"I think he should… I don't think his track record ever shows him as being late to anything." Shinichi responded before the sound of ground shattering echoed and sent birds and people the pair flying.

"What the fuck was that!?" Kai shouted as he scurried to his feet with his hands prepped for fisticuffs.

"That, my friends, would be not but a taste of the onset of terror I will instill upon ye as I rain the fires of discipline upon your tails." Said the voice of the mighty Frieza as he descends upon the helpless sheep.

"You… Aren't gonna expect us to fight you now are you?"

"Oh my yes. I'm so gonna rip you apart on your first day and kill you..." Frieza sarcastically spoke before retorting with "No! That was lesson number 1! Dynamic entrances are what my students shall always take! Theater and strategy. Fear and skill. All shall be encompassed by you two when I am through with you."

"That sounds pretty cool I guess." Kai said as he relaxed a little.

"Quite. However; Before we begin your physical training, you must go through some hand picked trials by me. We can't just make anyone a lethal killing machine now can we?"

"I see. So what's it gonna be? Wrestle wild animals? Beat up a local tyrant? Show off our pecks or some shit?" Shinichi asked curiously and jokingly before being interrupted by Frieza.

"You will first fetch me a cake I ordered within the city."

"You're kidding… Right?" Responded a white as ash Kai as the wind blew dust past him and an equally white Shinichi.

"I do not joke about that which pleases my superior taste in delectable delights. Now off you go. This will be the first of a few trials to take. If you cannot fetch cake how can you fetch power beyond belief?"

"So we have to return to the city… Just to fetch you a cake?" Both Shinichi and Kai asked as they dropped to their knees.

"Yeeeeep. Here's the receipt. Taataa."

In unison, both of the soon to be new students shouted obscenities, and stormed off. Saving you time, we skip past an hour or two, with them back in Ark city.

"Son of a bitch!" Kai yelled out into the air as he walked past passerbys "Not only do we have to come back here… But we also have to go to the most Cringe Worthy area."

"OH COME ON! THIS IS THE BEST PART!" Shinichi yelled in defiance as he pointed to a sign "HOW CAN COMING TO OUR VERY OWN ELECTRIC TOWN, OTAMACHI, BE BAD!? I mean sure. We had to come back here. But at least it's to a place that's fun!"

"There's nothing but the creepiest of otaku here… And nothing but idol and maid cafes here." Kai responded before being tugged at the shirt by someone.

"Pardon sir, but would you like to visit us at our new maid cafe that's going to open up soon?" A young girl dressed in a pink maid outfit spoke, sporting two black twintails, and red eyes.

"If we do, what's in it for us?" Kai asked as Shinichi stood in place, drooling a little.

"Well… If you come, you'll be able to see me there! I'm a canon idol after all!"

"I don't even know your name."

"Well then, let me fix that!" She said as she turned around, then turned back in a vigorous passion and said "My name's Yazawa Nico! Come by our shop, and I'll be sure to place a great big Nico Nico smile right onto your heart filled with love!" all said while doing an unusual dance.

"Are… Are you serious?" Kai asked the little lady in a disgruntled tone.

"Guh…" the young idol let out a sound of anguish over the comment as she sees them rush off, with Kai dragging Shinichi by the collar.

"HEY!" She shouted to the pair as they walk off "ITS NOT MY FAULT I HAD TO DO THIS TO EARN A LITTLE EXTRA CASH! LUXURY APARTMENTS ARE EXPENSIVE! NOW GET BACK HERE AND TAKE A DAMN FLYER! PRAISE ME LIKE A DEGENERATE CONSUMER WOULD, YOU BASTARDS!"

After some walking, we find the duo sitting down on the side walk "Why did you do that!? I could have gotten her autograph! Do you even otaku bro!?" Shinichi shouted in defiance

"Not like you do…" A despondent Kai retorted "I can't stand such cheap fake idol personas. You have to go a long ways to get get a genuine smile from someone who doesn't care about the praise and'll give you a real smile."

"Oh… True." Shinichi said as he sank his head a little "I suppose cute doesn't mean genuine."

"Nope. But I doubt that makes you think any less of this place."

"Not a bit."

"You must love this shit"

"It's my fucking life and blood."

Kai got to his feet and dusted himself off "Now off to find that cake."

Within an hour of walking and backtracking, they finally managed to track down the location of the place that sold the cake that Frieza had placed an order for. They found themselves at a place called "Cafe Tribbly" with a set of maids greeting people and handing out coupons.

"Ugh… Nice place." Kai whispered to himself as he prepared to enter the domain of nerds getting showered with hollow chants of love that are easily said to the next customer, denying the coupons as they get handed out.

Despite the worries Kai placed in himself, he was greeted by a place that was at least presentable with pleasing decor, aside from the plastered pictures of oddly smiling otaku and maids in the same pic. Expecting to be greeted by a maid, they were indeed greeted by such. But by a familiar face to say the least.

"Nico Nico Nii! Welcome to…" The young familiar idol spiritedly greeted the customers only to be assaulted with a wave of sheer dread as she is greeted herself by the two people who ignored her previously "Ah shit…"

"Well fuck me sideways and flip me upside down Cleetus…" Kai whispered despondently to his compadre Shinichi

An enthusiastic Shinichi responded with "Hell yeah Bobby Joe! Good ol Lady Liberty lookin out for us!"

""Riiiiight." Kai responds "H-Hey kid. How's it going"

In response to the question the young Nico began to speak as silent as newborn kitten "H-How…"

As Kai and Shinichi leaned a little bit closer to listen in, they were sent back a little by her sudden burst "How can Nico Nico and Cafe Tribbly serve her most gracious masters this fine afternoon!?" The disgruntled Nico said in a manner that spoke more annoyance than eagerness.

In a big spur of the moment Shinichi grabbed Kai by the collar, whispering in the deepest tone he can manage "PLEASE JUST LET ME HAVE THIS! I NEED NICO NII'S AUTOGRAPH! THAT PROM QUEEN REJECTS CAKE CAN WAIT!"

Giving a quick glance to the idol turned temporary maid and a look back to Shinichi before turning once more to Nico"Ugh… Just seat us at a booth near a window please…" Kai asked as politely as possible.

"Right this way… Ma…Masters." She gestured to them to follow her with a wave of her hand.

Leading to a table, the duo were seated with Nico slamming a pair of menus on the table "Here's your menus… Dear masters."

"Sigh… I just want some blueberry pancakes." Kai without even opening the menu.

"No you idiot!" Shinichi thought in his mind whilst giving a glair to Kai as if to send a mental message.

"What are you talking you otaku extremist!?" Kai responded through some asinine mental response given by his own glare.

"You have to go and order something special! You can't just yoke up an order here and not ask for a course!"

"Course? You mean food right!?"

"NO! I mean you have to order a special kind of order from a maid cafe! Like a tsundere or a yandere order! You're otaku enough to know those essential personality traits, right!?"

"Yeah, what of it?"

As Kai and Shinichi continue their mental glaring conversation Nico is sitting there waiting for a final order "What the hell are these retards doing?" She thought.

With a final glare, Shinichi resumed a normal conversation "Kai, just watch and learn from my crash course." He said before turning sternly to Nico, and began to utter his deepest and sternest tone "I'd like it if you could mix two orders please."

"That'll be an extra 10 credits for me to go that hardcore."

"It'll be of no concern dear maid. I'd like a spunky energetic, but playful, little sister, tsundere, and yandere order mix." Shinichi said as he placed a pair of reading glasses on him to do a stereotypical gesture that is taken on in shoujo manga Megan characters.

"Alright then, master. And what of the other master here?"

"Just get him the pancakes. He's still an amateur at this so he won't know what to do."

"Will do. That'll be 110 credits and 50 half credits! I'll return shortly then masters with a plate of pancakes and special order mix for you!" And with the order placed, she took off to place the order down and eventually return with the food.

"So what the hell is the big surprise huh?" Kai asked as the time passes and people chatter in the background.

"You'll just have to wait and see. Only as true otaku should be able to appreciate this quality material!"

"Bruh, I don't know if I could match the scrubs that are here bruh." Kai said mockingly "These guys literally eat cute girls and mecha up like insulin for diabetics. I think I, and even you, have better lives to attend to than this."

"Come on! You've gotta be able to appreciate some of this!"

"I'm not gonna hate em or anything… I just don't see why they're like this. So many of em have raging boner for the OC maids here. Can't they just nut and ask em out instead of breathing heavily near them. Or just fall for better more sincere people?"

"I wish. Aside from canons and Death-Guard's, maids and canon idols are like some kind of treasure. You actually have to sign contracts to even date them." Shinichi said as he went and revealed more of the fictional world's heiarchy "Asking them is like asking the secret service on Earth to tackle you after you attempt to beat up the American president... Oh wait! She's coming back!"

With her return, Nico placed the plate Kai ordered in front of him and then placed a plate of omelet rice in front of Shinichi "Here's your orders dear masters! Now allow Nico Nii to turn the magic on!" She said in a more chipper tone.

"Alright, now sit back and watch the magic happen." Shinichi said, resuming the comical mental conversation from before.

"Alright. Show me what this magic's all about." Kai responded with a return glare.

As Nico stepped back, she turned her attention to what was behind her. Taking a minute to breathe, she then spun around and began to articulate her body in dance like fashion "Nico Nico Nii! Dear brother! No. Dear broster! Can I call you that? It's for brother and master!" Nico said as she spoke in an unusually bright tone while dropping her knees a little and lowering her eye level to shinichi's.

"S-Sure..." Shinichi responded in an unusually flustered and out of breath tone "You can call me anything you want…"

"Yay! Thanks so much big broster!" She eagerly said while grabbing some ketchup from the table "Just… Just don't think I'm gonna write anything on here that's special for you that I don't write for everyone! I love you but I don't love you that much, stupid!"

"Of course not!" Shinichi shouted in agreement.

With a few waves of her hand, Nico wrote a series of letters spelling out, as she spoke them "L.O.V.E from your special Nico. With lots of love!" She stopped and then asked "How's that broster?"

"That was… Perfect. Big broster's up in heaven." Shinichi responded with a bright smile and sparkle on his face.

"Good…" Nico said all the while slowly reaching her hand toward the collar of Shinichi's tracksuit top and glaring a deathly glare at him in his face with a big grin and emotionless eyes "If you ever go to another cafe though, I'll be sure to rip your fucking intestines out and take back all that love and food I just sent to you with a rusty saw, dear broster!" She silently spoke too him, with only Kai able to hear what she said. Placing him back down and stepping back she once more spoke with life, a smile, and vigor once more "Okay? So don't betray your special maid. My love never betrays you ya know." Ending it with a stomp of her feet and and asking in her normal tone "So? How was it?"

As she turns to Kai, and Shinichi gesturing him to answer, Kai opened his mouth to speak "Well. Aside from the odd terminology and the deadly threats…?" He responded with his finger on his chin and in deep though being shown in his facial expression "You actually did pretty good. It was a lot more sincere sounding than last time and a lot more than expected." He said with a slight grin.

"No shit Sherlock. I didn't become a canon idol by being some talentless hack! I became one with a bonified level of pride for my job unlike the average maid they have around this dump. I just pick and choose where I show my 100% final form." She retorted with a smile of pleased confidence "Not that I blame you… Too many fakers out here."

"Well at least we agree on something."

"I suppose that's true." Nico smiled at Kai as she offered to shake his hand, which he took, and she took her leave to return to her job.

With said demonstration over, and a few first impressions mended, Kai readied himself to fix his pancakes up with the essentials.

"Man… After the day we've had, I'm gonna need this." Kai spoke as he rubbed his hands together and prayed a bit for his meal.

"You must love pancakes huh." His companion questioned with omlet rice in his mouth.

"Only when everything is perfect. The right level of butter…" He spoke as he slapped a thin slice of butter upon the pancakes "And the right amount of syrup" He continued as he began to pour some syrup on the marvelous treat.

But before he could finish pouring, a sudden commotion started "WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE!?" a man i brown cargo pants, and a black sleeveless sweater and black combat straps adorned with skulls and a sword on his back with the label "capsule corp combat inc" shouted in a fit of rage.

"Sir, please calm down, you're disturbing the customers!" A random maid walked up to try and secure the peace.

"Fuck these bitch ass customers! Where's my woman! She belongs to me!" He shouted in sheer anger and pulling out a black desert eagle.

"Do we have to take care of this?" Kai asked Shinichi as the two sat at their table.

"Not really. These usually don't lead to anything we would need to worry about that the cops couldn't handle." He said with his left arm resting it's elbow on the table and his chin in its hand "Not that we can't. We have the authority. Do you want to?" He asked.

"Not really." Kai responded "I really just want to finish off my pancake preparation."

As they chat a bit, the man continues his obscene performance of anger and immaturity "BRING HER TO ME NOW! GIVE ME MY FUCKING GODDESS TO MATCH MY GODLY VISAGE! WE BELONG TOGETHER!" He raged as he shot bullets everywhere.

One of those bullets hits Kai's hand, not damaging it, but destroying the syrup bottle, leaving Kai staring at it in sheer disbelief.

Shinichi waved his hand to Kai "Yo, Kai. You okay?" He asked.

"BRING ME NICO NII NOW!" Shouted the enraged man as he waved his piece around demanding to see Yazawa Nico.

"I'm here you freak! What the hell do you want!?" She yelled asked she stormed out to confront him "Can't you see this is running the mood into the ground!? Do I look like I belong to you!?"

"I don't care about the mood. You and me baby! That's all that matters! You even said so with your magic words!" He said as he grabbed her hand "Now come with me and we'll make sweet love with that small but easily legal body of yours!"

Nico shrugged back a little and gave a slight cry from the sudden forceful nature of the love struck lunatic, which then snapped Kai out of his trance a little and both he and Shinichi gave a quick glance to the source of the ruckus. With some struggling, and a slap to the man's face, Nico then fell back on her rear and shouted "You bastard, you can't handle a prim and proper lady like that!"

"Oh, don't worry." The man creepily spoke "You don't see it now. But don't worry. I'm gonna treat you right… Since I'm not a Death-Guard, I can cut you up and kill you as many times as it takes all I want until you love me!" The man then pulled his sword out and placed his gun back behind him.

As he approached the defenseless girl, he then noticed a finger tapping at his shoulder as a voice called out "Hey, buddy." causing him to turn back to see Kai, giving a closed eyes smile and standing behind him with his pancakes on the plate, on his hand, and plastered with some syrup he got from another table "You're gonna need these a lot more than I do…"

With a sudden thrust of Kai's arm and an bending of the palm, the pancakes smooshed right into the attackers face. As Kai turned around, the man wiped the food from his face "You're gonna wish you never did that you fucking bitch." The man said as he prepared to slice Kai with his blade made by capsule corporations weapons department.

Before the blade hit however, Kai grabbed a nearby butterknife and parried each of the man's attempted strikes as his knife glowed a little with bit of his own ki, knocking the sword out of his attackers hands. With a quick slice of the knife, he had cut the man's face, causing him to reel back in pain.

"A BUTTERKNIFE!?" The man yelled in pain ands he clumsily stepped backwards a little "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?"

As Kai walks over to pick up the man's sword, which seemed to be of a blade worth a little bit more than one hand and a handle for two, he cleaned it with a cafe napkin "Nice sword. Kind of reminds me of something in between an Elucidator and Trunks sword from Dragon Ball Z." He spoke as he looked at his reflection and cleaned his teeth with his tongue "I think it'd probably look better on me though. Wouldn't you agree mi compadre?" He asked Shinichi who was standing behind the man who had regained some composure.

"Quite." He agreed as he lifted his arms up to the air. With a swift motion, he lowered his arms down into a wing chun esque fighting pose as he literally cast off his shirt in a sheer wave of energy as his muscles expanded to an increase worth half their size and greater definition "NOW DONT COME BACK HERE, OR ANYWHERE, TRYING TO FUCK WITH MY MAIDS AGAIN!" He yelled out in rage as his face contorted to match and his fist sent flying into the man's chest causing him to be sent soaring at least 25 feet away and into oncoming traffic, where he got caught in front of a bus that stopped right as he reached the front of it.

"Phew. So you've got some lean mean meat on you huh?" Kai said as he humorously compared his arm to Shinichi who's arms were roughly 25% bigger than Kai's now.

"Nah." Shinichi said as he rubbed his nose a little to wipe an itch away "It's maximizing my power without a major loss of speed. It's what Trunks did against Cell in his fight against him during the Cell saga. Although it's not wise, it can be perfected to a degree. And it's what I normally use when I don't feel like wasting my otaku might on some cheeky scrub."

"Alright then Cleetus. Sounds like a nice trick to have up your sleeve." He spoke before turning to the still seated on her behind Nico "Sorry for the mess. And before we go, do you think you could see if this order is ready yet for take out?" He said handing her the paper for Frieza's cake.

"Yeah. I suppose…" She said after dusting herself off after taking the paper "After that, I doubt they'd mind giving you free meals for the rest of the year." She said smiling at them "So make sure to come back and order more special service okay!? And I'll be sure to give your friend lots more autographs too!" She ended as she took out a camera and took a pic with them and autographed it, handing it to Shinichi.

"Alright, just don't bust my balls too much with that tsundere and yandere shtick. See ya." Kai said as he and Shinichi received the cake from another maid and walked off waving too the cafe and its customers and workers, and Shinichi seeming happier than ever.

With cake in hand, and a few more trials from Frieza, what awaits our heroes? Will it be more goods to steal from random hooligans? Will it be true love? Probably not. Maybe it might be true love for someone else. Check out next time on the next chapter.

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**Well there you have it. My latest and greatest work. I will eventually get to adding in more of the promised OC's that the summary has. You can't expect a good sort to spoon feed you what you want. Patience young ninja, says master Splinter. Until then, keep reading nerds and nerd the fuck on.**


	7. Chapter 7: The Blood Rusters

**AUTHORS NOTES: Longest chapter yet I think. Some new OC'S will be introduced. Some might play a major role in the future and some might only be useful for the series of chapters they're related to. Find out over time if you don't lack any patience.**

**It's either my best chapter ever, or my worst. Either way, read it, review it, love it. Or my feewings will be hurt. I'm just a special snowflake!**

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**The Not So Average Life Of An Average OC.**

**Chapter 7: The Blood Rusters**

**Genre: Comedy, Action, Adventure**

**Introductions, or recaps. Sometimes interchangeable. They allow you to know what the rules are and what the past details are. And in this case, Kai and Shinichi have returned with the cake for Frieza. And it is not a lie. But the delectable taste is indeed a cover up for the hell that will await them when they get to the real training. The cake is indeed a lie, and only through sheer pain and soul crushing defeat and experience can one expect to have their cake and eat it. Hard work is everything.**

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"I see that not only have you brought me my Almond honey cake with white chocolate truffles, but you also lost a shirt Shinichi." Frieza spoke as he checked the box to double check the authenticity of the order "Good work. That was the first stage before the real training begins."

"So you said we had a few more trials aside from cake retrieval, right?" Kai asked his possible future coach on kickassery "It's not another call for cake duty is it?"

"Heavens no. I'm not that much of a glutton. I'll just send this off to my home back in Drax City." The cake was sent off with a wave of the hand.

"So then what IS our next trial?" Shinichi asked.

"Well, first things first, let's get you suited up boy." Frieza smiled as he rose to the air a little and meditated with a dark black and redish stream of aura flowing around him "It's time for your uniform…"

Kai asked his friend as he turned to him for advice "Uniforms?"

"It's time to give you your official Death-Guard uniform. I'm already dressed in mine most of the time though so I don't need one." Shinichi said as he suddenly got surrounded in the same dark flames.

As the flames surrounded Shinichi, they melded to his skin and formed a new tracksuit shirt for him. Kai saw this and responded to the moment with "Holy. Shit. You must save a lot of money on clothes."

"You can too Murakami, if you so wish." Frieza had chimed in as he pointed to Kai "Now, join me in meditation."

"Okie dokie."

As Kai sat on the ground Indian Style and put his hands on his knees, he closed his eyes and asked "Now what? Is this gonna take like hours of meditation?"

"No." Frieza shrugged as he answered Kai in a sense of disgust at the notion of spending 5 hours meditating "You merely must imagine your chosen uniform, communicate it to me, and I will give you what I see. When I give it to you you'll be able to form it on your own, and after enough personal self induced meditation and training, you can even change it to other clothes. Now get to it."

With a more serious face of focus being shown on Kai and 30 seconds of thought, Frieza opened his eyes and then allowed his own dark energy to flow into Kai's vicinity. As it enveloped Kai, it began to take shape as it raptures Kai's old clothes away somewhere and forms into a full black easy rider jacket going down to his hip with seemingly permanently rolled up sleeves barely going past his elbow upwards. Included is a white slightly compressive T-shirt. On the jacket, on both sides in between his houlders and where the sleeves were rolled, are Japanese Kanji. The right spelled death, and the left spelled guard. On the back was the Kanji for the word idiot as spoken in the Kansai dialect. Along with the upper body was his lower body being given a pair of black men's leather pants. He was also given a pair of black armored ornate combat greaves, for his new black calf high boots, and high tech looking ornate vambraces for his arms showing a bit of his arm between that and the shirt sleeves.

"My my my." Frieza said as he looked upon the new clothing that had been bequeathed to Kai. "Looking very snazzy now are we?"

"Uh… Yeah. Gotta make a good first impression." Kai said as he checked his clothing "Now all that's left is to get my new sword that I… Confiscated from a hoodlum and attach it right to the back."

As Frieza heard Kai's statement about the sword, he then waved his arm and a sheath that fit his new sword perfectly had appeared upon Kai's back "There… A simple task."

"Great!" Kai said "Now that that's done, lets… Wait..." He took a look at his back and saw some extra kanji. He couldn't make it out so he asked "Are there extra Kanji on my back?"

"Yes. Take a look and see if you like my… Extra addition."

Looking at his back through a mirror in a nearby shack, he then began to lose all the color on his body as he read the word for idiot and went walking back outside.

"All my students need to show a sign of overly humble humbleness, Now that we have gotten your uniform out of the way, it's time to move on to the next part. Utilizing your uniform in a combat situation."

"Say what now?" Kai asked as he scratched his chin.

Shinichi then chimed in with "Our uniforms have capabilities that they come with. They can't be changed. But whatever you get, they do grow in strength with you. And they come with the package. You don't get to choose what they are, but you'll know how to use them by heart."

"Why are you even here Shinichi, if you already know this?" Kai asked as he scowled upon his comrade.

"Because, I will be training you in more than what a Death-Guard's weapons are. I will personally instruct you in the usage of my signature skills when you've completed all the trials." Frieza said with his tail hitting the ground "This includes Shinichi."

"Oh. Cool." Kai responded in a slightly bored tone.

"I thought you'd be happier…" Shinichi questioned his comrade at his deviation from what he thought was his usual disposition.

"When you've fangasmed over Frieza enough, you've fangasmed over Frieza enough."

"Good. Now let's begin." Frieza rose into the air higher than last time and asked Shinichi to do the same.

"Shinichi, you can fly?" Kai said as he stared at his friend rising.

"Yeah. You never asked, I never told."

"Fair enough." Kai responded "So what should I do now?"

"Simple, dear boy." Frieza spoke as he used his energy to amplify his voice "Just imagine that your clothing is a weapon and then allow it to be used as such."

As Kai concentrated, attempting to reach into himself, he then found his vambraces and greaves engulfed in a blue wild flowing energy.

"Hmm… So now what" Kai pondered.

"Why don't you find out?" Shinichi said.

As Kai stood in place, he bent down a great amount and… "HUUUUUUP!" Kai attempted to leap high in the sky. As he soared upward he then fell back down and into a rough landing on his ass.

"What the hell was that?" Asked a bewildered Shinichi.

"Sorry. I wanted to see if they'd let me fly or something." Kai answered as he rose from his feet.

"Try something simpler." Shinichi suggested "These powers aren't too complicated. They won't let you do much other than offering things like combat enhancements."

"Oh. Cool." And with that, Kai attempted multiple things but found that he could only kick and punch with the blue energy acting as a sort of energy type melee attack, blades from the front of his vambraces that vary in length, and the ability to shoot narrow and short energy blasts.

"I think that's enough for uniform training for now. Overall they offer benefits like that. Simple for noobs. And as you grow, you'll be able to discover new ones. Not too many. But more than enough for you." Frieza decended back down "Now let's start the next part. Pest control."

"Pest control?"

"Yes. There is a local gang in Zevelan City called the Blood Rusters causing mischief. Go eradicate them. Kill or convince them to disband. Either way, complete this and you'll be moving on. Take these tickets and teleport there. And Kai."

"Yes?"

"Make sure you get used to wearing that uniform. I'll be expecting you to wear it at all times. We can't have a snazzy outfit like that go to waste."

"Roger that sensei!" Kai said as he and Shinichi walked off again to go to another city, a little happier since they get to visit a new place.

Making their way back to the local teleport station of Maanland Fields, they teleport to Zevelan City. Stepping foot into a new city, Kai takes in the scenery as he lays his eyes upon the… Eerily similar setting to Ark City. "Hmm… Aside from a different shop layout and those towers in the center on the map, this isn't much different than Ark City." Kai said as he breathed in the scent of the city "But the air is different… It smells like ass."

"Whatever. I hear this city is harem central though." said Shinichi as he looked to a sign that had a pic of a red haired girl on it that read "Live Oppai Dragon showing at 5.30 next Friday.

"Harem central? Damn. Must be your specialty then Shinichi." Kai said in a sarcastic tone.

"Was that supposed to be an insult, you ass?"

"Ain't nothin to it. Let's go. We can start off by asking around where we can find these guys."

And off they went, beginning their hunt, in search of who can help them to locate the Blood Rusters. After some walking, they find themselves at their first stop. The arcade district. What can be seen are a decent amount of guys with at least 2 girls on each arm, most canon, some OC.

"So where do we start?" Kai asked Shinichi, only to see his friend snapping photos of several canon characters "What the fuck are you doing, Shinichi?"

"What does it look like!?" The over zealous otaku shouted "I'm taking in the scenery!"

"Eww! Get the hell away from me you freak!" Shouted a pink haired girl with twintails and horn like fixtures on her head.

"Come on! Please! This isn't an everyday occurrence for a lowly OC like myself!" Shinichi responded, upon his knees, craving for the chance to obtain a photographic souvenir.

"Keep away from me you freak! Kinji! Get this freak away from me!" Screamed the creeped out girl as she shouted towards a man with dark hair and a red suit.

"Don't be that way! Just one…" Shinichi spoke before Kai came and whacked him upon his head and into the ground as Shinichi let out a final sound of pain before collapsing and passing out face first into the ground.

"Sorry about that." Kai apologized "We're here on a bit of Death-Guard business and perhaps you'd answer some questions."

"Death-Guard's?" one of the several girls asked.

"That's right. We're hoping to ascertain the whereabouts of some local gang that's been causing trouble for everyone here." Popped Shinichi as he rose his head and his hand in the air, with one of the girls, a blonde one in Lolita dress, stomping his back playfully for having the kind of view most guys would kill for "If you don't stop that, I'll have to arrest you, And rough you up"

As the girl stepped back she then asked "So what kind of gang? That's not very specific."

"The Blood Rusters if I recall correctly." Kai said with a scratch to his head.

"Oh those guys." The only guy of the harem group spoke with a look of disdain on his face "Those guys are just some shit eating OC's who go around destroying anything canon related. Although they don't seem to mind Highschool DxD stuff."

Before the young man could continue his story though, he looked upon the Death-Guard's that stood before him and noticed that they didn't look canon and said "N-Not that all OC's are bad! J-Just these freaks!"

"Right…" Both Shinichi and Kai said with faded out eyes.

"I don't know where they're hiding out now. But the old hideout they used are the old storage units a few blocks down."

"Then we'll head there. Let's get going Shinichi." Kai said as he dragged Shinichi by the leg as Shinichi grunted a little in minor pain.

As they walked onwards, with Shinichi back on his feet, they found themselves sitting at an old storage site that's been abandoned. "You didn't need to drag me by my feet you know." A slightly annoyed Shinichi questioned Kai.

"I look at it like this. Somewhere, somehow, our lives are shows, books, games, or movies somewhere. Somewhere, people want to laugh and we gotta at least try to make it look good." Kai said as he pointed to the sky.

"That's just wishful thinking."

"Maybe." Kai responded. "Now let's get going. Maybe there are still some people hanging around here."

Entering the facility, and proceeding to open a storage unit, the two find themselves face to face with a few homeless people messing around with some cards. After some bribing with some food and money, they come to find that the only person who knows for sure where the Blood Rusters would be now, is one of the newcomers at the farthest side of the facility in the pier area. Making their way there, they find a young girl, dressed in a black and purple dress with some of her chest showing and with long black hair, sitting over the edge of the pier that the place is located at.

"So, little girl." Shinichi said as he tapped her shoulder "We hear you know where to find the Blood Rusters."

"That's right… Do you want to know where?"

"That'd be great if you could tell us that since we're here on official Death-Guard business." Kai said as he clasped his hands together rubbing them together.

"Hmm… I suppose that could be arranged. All you have to do is do me one small favor."

"And what favor would that be?" Kai questioned.

"Buy me this limited edition Oppai Dragon stuffed toy." The young girl pointed to a flyer she had.

"….Are you kidding me? That thing is 7,000 credits!" Kai said as he broke out into a slight fit of anger.

"Too bad, so sad. If you don't want to pay a little money to get the info you want, then I can understand."

"Fine… Shinichi will split the bill with me. Besides that, why do we need to do it for you? Can't you take the money and buy it yourself?"

"I don't like walking. So let me ride on your shoulders. They look decently broad." The young girl gestured with her finger pointing to Kai's shoulders.

"You must be joking…"

"I do not make such jokes. You should be honored. The great and generous Ophis is allowing you to escort her." The young girl said, revealing her name.

"Oh! That's where I recognize you from! You're from Highschool DxD!" Shinichi exclaimed as he snapped a quick photo.

"I suppose she's famous?" Kai questioned.

"Not to Otaku scrubs like yourself!" Shinichi shouted before snapping a few more photos of the petite canon girl.

"That's right. Now, turn around, on your knees, and don't go too fast. Unless you want to sift around for the info all day."

Getting into a kneeling position, Kai begrudgingly does so to speed up the trial, sitting her neatly onto his shoulders "This is very nice actually! You're definitely not a simp when it comes to the shoulder department. Not too big either." Ophis proclaimed as she announced her satisfaction.

"Are we ready?" Kai asked as Ophis placed her hands upon spiky hair.

"Not yet. Ones such as yourselves should reveal your names to a young maiden of fame like myself."

"Fine. I'm Murakami Kai. The Otaku leet over there is Fujimoto Shinichi."

"Yes. Hi-Yo Silver!" Ophis shouted as she raised her finger to point onward.

With Ophis on his shoulders, Shinichi following suit, and a slow walk, our heroes arrive at a local toy shop. There, they locate the prized stuffed toy of Ophis desires, purchase it, and proceed to leave.

"There, your toy's in the hands of its rightful master. Are we done yet?" Asked Kai who had just emptied a large handful of his and Shinichi's wallet.

"Nope. Not yet. I still haven't gotten something to eat yet. You wouldn't let a little young girl like me go and starve would you?"

"For some reason, I doubt you're too young to manage without a meal today. Is this the last thing you're gonna have us buy you?" Kai pondered and questioned.

"I guess…" Ophis said with a slightly disappointed look upon her face. As she climbed back onto Kai's shoulders.

Walking to the closest eat in restaurant, the group takes their seats and begins to order some food.

"I'd like the kids specialty with a flag please." Ophis said, looking at her menu.

"We're not here for food. Just her." Kai said as he sent the waiter away "So, how old are you really? You don't talk like the average kid. Most fictional characters stop aging at least in their mid 20's and maxed at their late 80's."

"That's true." Shinichi interjected "And it's very rare for kids these days to speak with as refined a tone as you seem to use."

"Is that really something to ask a lady like me?" Ophis said as a look of slight of irritation appeared on her face.

"Kai then pat his hand on her head and turned her head towards him and said "It is, if you want us not to question whether or not you're an old lady buying a kids meal with a flag."

"Fine… I, the magnificent Ophis, may not look like it, but I'm actually 16 years old. I had stopped aging around the age of 12."

"I see. I'm still wondering why you want a flag and a kids meal. The burger and apple slices can't be that good." Kai said as he looked at the children in the restaurant eating the kids meal.

"I… Never really got to do stuff like this. Riding on your shoulders, being given a stuffed toy like this, even ordering a children's portion with an adult supervisor..." Ophis spoke with a tone of disappointment "My father never once did stuff like this."

"I guess he's the kind of guy who focuses more on work then." Shinichi had guessed.

"Sort of…" Ophis answered before they were greeted with the kids meal she ordered "I just wish he'd spend more time like this with me. And your comrade here, Kai, reminds me a little of him. It could be his aura I suppose. Maybe his scent. Now, allow me to at least enjoy this meal."

"I think I can sort of understand your pain, but just a little." Kai said as he gave her a light rub on the top of her head and a pity smile.

As Ophis continued eating, she took a glance outside. She then noticed three individuals. The sight of them seemed to cause a lot of worry onto her face.

"Hmm, what's wrong Ophis?" Shinichi questioned her as she began to quicken the pace at which she ate.

"We need to get going soon. I… Think there's somewhere I want to be." She responded.

"Hmm… Ok." Kai spoke "I don't suppose you want to ride on my shoulders again do you?"

Ophis leaped upward and landed on Kai's shoulders, and raised her hand forward to signal for her spiky haired steed to march "Hi-Yo Silver. We need to find you a watering hole! And hurry before some wild bandito's catch us!"

After paying the bill, making their way out of the restaurant, they walk a few blocks away from the restaurant before being stopped by three individuals, happening to be the same individuals witnessed by Ophis.

"Hold it right there." Said a petite red haired female with long hair going down and twin tails on the side dressed in an unusual school uniform.

"Can we help you?" Shinichi said as he took a gander at the three obstacles before them.

"You can help us by handing over the young girl over there." Said a relatively tall man in black ornate full body armor pointing his armored finger at Ophis "She's either coming with us or you die."

"Oh, well aren't you just so edgy." Kai responded to the man's threat "I suppose you're also gonna water board our grandparenrs and deep fry us with a Parrilla too?"

"You have some nerve to be referring to a made man of the Blood Rusters like that you arrogant fuck."

"… So you're the Blood Rusters then?" Kai asked.

"That's right." Said a naked man with a British accent and 6 black wings "The little lass has a date with the boss."

"I think not." Kai said as he let Ophis down from his shoulders "I have to thank you. Since you showed yourselves on your own."

"You were looking for us? Let me guess, you're some stupid cops looking to die?" The armored man said

"Die? And how might you go about doing something like that?" Kai had gave the man a curious look.

"Wouldn't you like to know." The man spoke as he reached his arm out a little and prepared his sharp pointy armored fingers for battle "Out of all three of us, I'm the strongest. My name's Hiroaki Hisato. I'm the groups sacred gear user. Possessor of the Gravitational Drain, and the dragon god of the void, Tavaroth. We all also happen to be Death-Guard's. Not that you pricks will be alive long enough to tell the press so that they can tell the other Death-Guards that some of their own are members of a gang."

"Okay. Well… I think it's too late for that." Kai spoke in retort.

"And why is that?" The naked dark winged angel said.

"Well…" Shinichi started "We're Death-Guard's as well."

With an awkward silence, moments later the Blood Rusters took a few steps back and prepared for battle.

"I'll be taking the red haired barmy little bint over there."

"What the hell is a bint?" Hisato asked his comrade.

"A woman you bloody berk." The man said before flying after Shinichi who flew off to a nearby but alternative location.

"Well… That's an odd pervert of an friend you have there." Kai said as he looked to the sky and the two flying off "Now, let's get to it." Kai said turning his head to the two in front of him before suddenly being engulfed in black and red flame like energy.

"Remias! What the hell are you doing!?" Hisato yelled at his female companion.

"What? I wanted to finish it quickly!" The young girl called Remias said.

"I wanted to enjoy this a little!"

Before they could continue arguing though, the flames were cleared revealing Kai to be unharmed "I don't know what that was supposed to be. But I guess it at least singed my clothes a little."

Starring at the unharmed adversary, with Ophis sitting behind an alleyway, the young girl gave a somewhat shocked look and a nervous smile "W-Well… Not bad. To think that you'd be able to withstand the power of destruction from one such as I, Remias Gremory, younger sister to the one and only Rias Gremory…"

"I don't know who that is… But yeah. That was pretty weak." Kai said in retort.

As we cut from their battle, we see that a few blocks away, at the exact same time that all of that was happening, the battle between Shinichi and the angel with the black wings began commence.

"Alright you little bint, time for your spanking!" The angel shouted as he pointed at Shinichi with his manhood swaying with the wind.

"I'm not a woman!" Shinichi responded in response to being refereed to as a bint.

"You will be when I'm done with you! Name's Alastair The Fallen Angel! Time to clench your ass cheeks!"

With a leap towards Shinichi, and a readied fist, Alastair attempted a swift downward strike, only to miss and follow up with a upward kick that ended up getting blocked by his opponent whom had moved to the side quite swiftly. Before Alastair could react however, he was met with a swift jab to the face that sent him flying into a wall.

"For someone with such a stereotypically cool name, you don't fight all that well, do you." Shinichi mocked Alastair.

As Alastair rose to his feet, he was slightly shocked, and he proceeded to raise his arms into the air "I'll praise you for doing such a fine job at making me mad. But I'm about to end this here…"

"Sure. Whatever you say… Just stop showing your cock off man. I'm not a flaming fag."

"Trust me when I say that my shaft will be the last thing you ever see!" Alastair shouted before a large energy beam actually shot from his special elephant.

Cutting away, we return to the exact moment we left off with Kai.

"So you're not such a weakling after all huh?" Hisato spoke as he took a few steps towards Kai before stopping a few feet short, meeting eye to eye "You gonna tell us your name?"

"Nah. I don't think you're gonna need my name when you're 6 feet under." Kai said in a confident tone.

Angering Hisato, the armored brute then began to glow red, and he then shouted out the words "Devouring Bind!"

As soon as Kai could even breathe, Remias had stepped back quite a ways, and a field of augmented gravity and pressure came around the area "What do you think?" Hisato questioned as he crossed his arms confidently "Must be tough trying to handle the pressure of 500 times the world's gravity. As long as my body can handle it, I can increase the gravity around a 50 mile radius max. The more damage you take from it, the more I absorb."

"I see…" Kai said in a short simple retort.

Walking towards Kai, Hisato then put his hand into a striking position, and activated his special power up skill with a shout "DEVOUR!" and attempted to throw a powered up punch to Kai's face. He was however met with an instant and gut wrenching strike from Kai that landed to Hisato's gut, causing him to keel over and almost vomit.

"W-What the fuck… Was that!?" Hisato yelled as he attempted to calm the tumblr in his tummy.

"You and I are fighting right? So I punched you in the gut."

"How!? With the gravity!?" Remias shouted in defiance as she stared at the two of them.

"Just because you have trouble handling it doesn't mean I would. I did shit like gravity training when I was a kid." Kai said while pointing at Remias.

Suddenly, Hisato rose from his feet, jumped back a decent amount of space, and yelled out in fury "You son of a bitch! I'll teach you to mess with me! I'm the master of the heavens void dragon!" In a blinding rage, the ground began to shake, with cracks in the pavement, rocks flying up, and a red and black aura flowing around Hisato. As the aura began to grow stronger Hisato said "You better not make and cheap shot! I'm powering up here!"

"Sure… Whatever." Kai said as he lit up a cigarillo, a short and narrow type of cigar "Take your time though." He said after exhaling some smoke "I'd like some time to enjoy my favorite smoke."

"You'll regret that…" Hisato spoke before chanting a long chant.

"I, who is about to awaken…"

"Am the outer divine dragon who has stolen the world of its light ."

"I rule over the heavens, and I live for the dream."

"I shall become the three black dragon's of one void! And I shall bring you into the dead of despair! Juggernaut Drive!"

As the air clears and the force clears, Kai and Remias take a glance at the sight of a large black ornate dragon with mecha like attachments, a large black sword like horn from its head, and glowing wing blades that are not attached by flesh.

"I… I've never seen this kind of thing up close, not even big bro Issei showed me this." Remias said in awe seeing what she only heard of from her sister.

"Huh… So this is it?" Kai said before finishing his cigarillo in one final puff.

"That's right… Are you ready to feel the wrath of the Tavaroth!?" Hisato shouted in an angered confidence.

"Why not? I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I've got plenty of bubble gum." Kai readied himself as he comically put himself into a Bruce Lee esque fighting pose and a grin of expectation "But… If I win, there are a few questions I'll have you answer."

With both charging at each other, all was certain that one of them would come out in a body bag and one would come out victorious… As soon as they were even a few feet closer however; A giant red dragon tail smashed in between them. As they both look up, they see an incredibly massive red dragon floating around.

"What the fuck is this?" Kai questioned as he took a step back and looked up.

"Boss!" Both Hisato and Remias said in unison as they looked up to the dragon.

"Who?" Kai questioned as he looked to the two gang members and back up.

As Kai looked up, he also felt Ophis tug at his shirt, he turned to her, and her, giving an awkward silence until she spoke, said "…It's my dad."

With that said, Kai froze, and then unfroze as he stared back up and spoke "Oh, damn."

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**Who is this Ophis father? What will befall everyone now that the big boss is in town? And what's going on with Shinichi and the nudist Puri Puri Prisoner fallen angel wannabe? Find out next time.**


	8. Chapter 8: The Blood Rusters Part 2

**Author's Notes: Longest chapter again. New record bruh. Also new OC introduced (In the fictional worlds case, OC means Ordinary Character, while to us, it means original.) Also quick question. Would you think it'd be better to bold all the dialogue and not to bold the narration to make it easier to read for certain people? Either way, read it, review it, love it, or hate it. I don't care as long as you don't complain about wasted time. All of life is a waste in most cases. Not suicidal waste of course. Just... A waste of your potential.**

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**The Not So Average Life Of An Average OC.**

**Chapter 8: The Blood Rusters 2**

**Genre: Comedy, Action, Adventure**

**Childhood friends. Many times a tired trope in harem anime. Sometimes a trope among actual friends, but far less. Which one applies to this story? You'd have to read and find out.**

**Last time, Kai began the second part to his training under Frieza, under his request to take care of Zevelan City's Blood Ruster problem. While there, they met a young girl who happened to be a canon character known as Ophis and took her on the chance to live out a super duper childhood. On the way they met the Blood Rusters, who happen to have beef with the young girl... Or do they? With the sudden appearance of the big bad boss? What will happen? Find out bruh. I won't tell you.**

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With an unnatural and almost antagonistic wind over Zevelan city, a massive red dragon can be seen flying over the skies. With howls of despair erupting from the city as if Godzilla had descended, Kai and his fellow onlookers stare at their sudden guest.

"Bo-Boss!" Hisato and Remias shouted in unison.

With Kai turning his head back to Ophis, he whispers to her "So your dad rides a big dragon everywhere?"

"No..." Ophis said in retort and an awkward silence.

"Then where's your dad?" A bewildered Kai pondered.

"That IS my dad." Ophis said as she hid behind his larger 6'0 tall physique.

"Quit fighting some random nobody's and search for my daughter!" The Blood Rusters patriarch demanded.

"B-But boss!" The subordinates spoke.

"OPHIS! WHERE ARE YOU!?" The mighty red dragon spoke with a massive explosion of desperation "Come on and show yourself! This doesn't have to happen! Come back!"

Before the mighty dragon could continue to encircle the city once more, he noticed his two subordinates as they were yelling for him.

"Boss! What are you doing!?" The two Blood Rusters yelled.

"What does it look like! I'm looking for my daughter! You idiots were taking too damn long!" The dragon spoke in a manner befitting a typical Japanese thug.

"Come on boss! It's not our fault that these little shits got in our way!" Hisato yelled while pointing to Kai who had Ophis standing behind him.

"Where!?" The dragon yelled as he turned his head all around "Who's the shit who took The Great Reds daughter! Who thought he'd be putting the sweet moves on my angel!"

As the Great Red finally turned his head, he noticed Ophis standing behind Kai, and then took a glance at Kai before an awkward silence came over both him and Kai.

After at least 3 seconds of awkward silence, Kai spoke and said "You're Great Red? Right?"

"And you're Murakami Kai, correct?" Great Red said in response.

As a the awkward silence continued for another 2 seconds, Remias attempted to break the silence before both Kai and Great Red had broken it themselves with Great Red laughing and saying "I knew I recognized that spiky ass hair!"

"Yeah, and you...Got reaaaally big now didn't you." Kai smiled towards Great Red while commenting on his appearance.

"I don't get it." Hisato and Remias spoke in unison at the sudden friendly air and familiarity between their boss and their foe "What's going on here!?" they shouted.

"I didn't tell you?" Great Red asked his subordinates.

"Tell us what?" Hisato asked.

As Great Red picked up Kai with his tail and sat him in front of them at a closer proximity he then said "Me and him are old friends! In our youth we used to train our bodies and minds together! We're old sparring buddies!"

"Hi..." Kai spoke as another awkward silence fell over them.

As the silence continued, it was eventually broken by the body of Alastair crashing into a nearby wall, with Shinichi following suit, in a burned up track suit that he repaired on the spot.

"Well the, That takes care of that." Shinichi said. Suddenly, he turned his head to see Great Red and said "...What the fuck is going on here?"

As we cut from the scene at hand, we are suddenly brought to a new scene at a fancy nightclub with the sun nearing sundown and night about to take precedence. In the club, we see Great Red in a smaller almost chibi esque variation of his true form drinking from a beer mug, and belching out a little.

"Phew! That hits the spot!" Spoke the now deformed dragon "Come on! Drink already! This beer isn't going anywhere by itself."

"I think there are more important issues at hand than getting drunk boss!" Hisato argued "What's the whole story behind you and this ass clown!? And besides that, some of us are minors here."

"Well me and this ass clown go way back actually." Great Red spoke as he put a small finger to his small chin "When I was younger, I was quite the weakling compared to now. Still am a weakling compared to a lot of people out there. But not that kids like you need concern yourself with anyone else but me and him. It was perhaps little more than a decade ago."

As we cut from the scene, we are given a glimpse of Great Reds memory of the encounters through a flash back sequence. Don't you just love those?

"Ryaaaaaargggggh!" A young Great Red roared as he stomped around a small town "Come on!" He yelled "Who wants to fight me! I'll take on any of the kids in this shitty little hick town!"

As the dragon stomped around, looking for a challenger with all the parents telling most of their kids to ignore the wild beast, one child with slightly spiky hair stepped up to him and spoke "Hi there boy!" The young child said "Are you lost?"

"Wha...What?" The young Red spoke

The child then put a hand on the dragon's head and said "Did you lose your mommy and daddy?"

In a quick jerking motion, Red took his head away from the boys hand and said "What the fuck do you think I am!? A dog!? And quit staring or I'll wring your neck you freak!"

In a showcase of youth learning deficiency, the boy spoke "Aren't you though?"

"Why the hell would I be?" Red asked the equally young tyke.

"But since we don't have dogs here in this town, you must be.."

A sudden color change from red to white befell Great Red as an awkward silence fell over him and the young child.

"Oh!" The boy suddenly lifted his head up and said "I get it!"

"Do you now?" A still white as a sheet Great Red despondently spoke.

"You're a cat!" The moment the boy said that, Reds tail smashed the young boy across the face and sent him into the side of a barn.

As Great Red began to turn he spoke "Fucking retard."

As Red was walking off, something suddenly had rammed itself into him as if it was a cannonball shot from at him. With a gut wrenching cry, Great Red was knocked 5 feet away.

"What the fuck are you doing you simpleton!?" The red beast yelled.

"You're a bad Kitty." The young boy said in a tone denoting the anger of a child who just saw his pet shit on the rug, causing the color of Great Red to once again sink away from him, and forcing Great Red to leap forward to attack his new found foe, causing the boy to do the same.

As the sun begins to set on the towns sky, we see the two laying on the ground after a hard fought battle, gasping for air.

"So... You're not a cat or a dog. Cats don't fly and dogs don't breathe fire." The young boy spoke as he struggled to catch his breath.

"I... ITried to tell you that. I'm a dragon you moron." Great Red said as he coughed up puffs of fire from exhaustion "I tried to tell you but you kept throwing bones and catnip at me!"

"Sorry..." The boy was struggling slightly to get on his feet as he spoke "I'm kind of slow considering I'm only a kid... I don't get to leave this town much."

Falling back down, the dragon, who pulled himself up, albeit struggling, offered a helping tail to help the boy up. As the boy got to his feet, the dragon then asked "Boy, what's your name? If it helps you, from one youth to another, my name is Great Red."

"That's an odd name you got there."

"It's a name that denotes greatness beyond comprehension and heroism!" Great Red proudly stated "Now tell me your name!" He asked. "It's been a while since I found anyone able to tussle with me!"

"Murakami Kai! 11 years old!" The young boy revealed.

Cutting back to the present time, we see the whole group aside from Great Red with a look of bewilderment on them.

"And that's how the two of us met! For at least the next 5 years we were sparring and sharing training methods." Red reminisced about the past.

Shinichi turned his head to Kai, who was face palming, and asked "You were seriously that stupid as an 11 year old?"

"Yep."

Slamming his hand onto the table, Hisato then began to shout "Boss, this isn't the time to be drinking!"

"Why not?" Great Red asked "I've found an old friend!"

"Because we're still in a predicament!" Hisato shouted in response.

"Huh?" Red said.

"The potential uprising of those rival gangs!"

"OH! THAT'S RIGHT!" Red said as he suddenly popped his head up "Murakami!"

"Yeah?" Kai said in response.

"I want you and your friend to assist us!"

With a scratch to his head, Kai said "Help with what?"

"Help us topple the rival gangs!" Great Red said before Hisato angrily interjected.

"But boss! We can't use their help!"

"Why not!?" The Red lizard spoke.

"They're Death-Guard's and they came to get rid of us!"

With a bit of silence, Great Red then spoke and said "Is... Is this true? Murakami?"

"Yeah. It's true."

"But, why!?" Great Red spoke with a tone of shock.

"We were told we had to either end you for your troubling activities or make you disband." Shinichi said as he interjected "So there's really nothing we can do other than warn you that we're here to arrest you."

Dropping his head low, Great Red then began to ponder in silence. Moments later, he rose his head up, and in a solemn tone, asked Kai and Shinichi "Would you be willing to help us as long as we stopped our activities?"

"Why would you stop if we helped you get what you want?" Shinichi asked.

"Because of my work... I know why my daughter ran away. But I was down on luck for a long time. I couldn't even focus on my training let alone my daughter. I was younger. I wanted a lavish life for me and my daughter..." Great Red spoke in such a sorrowful tone you could swear he might committ suicide. "Even now, work is hard. I don't get much screen time for DxD, so I don't make much on canon commissions. I just want it to end. I just want to focus on a normal job so I can spend more time with her. At least until she starts getting more of her own screen time."

Scratching his chin, Kai then asked "But what do the other gangs have to do with this?"

"The young miss is a really sweet angel ya know?" Alastair said as he woke up from a slumber given to him by Shinichi "She's got potential as a child star. And some of these turd flinging monkeys you call gangs want to use her for what they label as legal child porn considering she's not actually a kid and just looks like one. It's what they want to do to get their start in the criminal life. Extortion of sorts."

"...And Zevelan city allows 16 year olds to star in porn?"

"That's right!" Great Red shouted with a firey voice as he shot up suddenly "THERE'S NO WAY MY BABY GIRL IS GETTING SOME RANDOM LOSERS COCK IN SOME UNDERGROUND PORN LIKE SOME CRINGE WORTHY DOUJINSHI!"

"And if we do this then you'll quit your activities?" Kai asked his old friend.

"Yes."

With a shake of the hands and claws together, the deal was done. "Now that that's all one and done, let's..." Kai was about to say, before noticing Ophis was gone "Uhh, where's your daughter?"

"SHE'S FUCKING GONE! GET TO IT YOU FUCKING COCKLESS LOSERS AND DRIED OUT FISH! FIND HER!" Red yelled in a burning hysterical rage at his subordinates.

With a quick "ON IT BOSS!" from the group, and a sprint out the door, the Blood Rusters were darting their heads from side to side looking for her. Remias suddenly shouted as she saw a someone in the distance running off with Ophis.

"Go get her already!" Great Red hysterically shouted as he flew off to chase the man who was running with the speed of rodent on meth.

With Kai and Shinichi following after them, they make their way through the vast city, chasing the man as if the Benny Hills theme could be heard playing.

"Fucking hell!" Yelled Alastair "If we don't find the little shrimp then we're not gonna be able to even so much as touch ourselves at night without the boss waitin cut our genitals off!"

As they ran off with even more haste, the very group of generic looking bald OC's they are looking for is looking upon them with their eyes from the rooftops as they watch the fools look for them, with Ophis tied up in ropes. "Phew... Those retards are gonna be looking for us, but don't even realize that the people they're chasing are just illusions!" one of the OC's.

Holding Ophis on his shoulder, the other OC spoke "Yeah. Now let's get back to the boss. We've got plans. And this little chick is gonna make one hell of a niche cum dumpster."  
Cutting away from the current scene, we find the setting changing to a bright room lit with some fancy lights, seeming to be a hotel room, and a couple of more generic OC's attending to a small laptop in the middle of the room. As the door to the room opens, we see that the OC's who kidnapped Ophis are entering the room, with their prize in tow. As they come to a halt, a couple of feet in front of the laptop, they drop to their knees, dropping Ophis to the ground, and speaking in a tone of respect towards the Laptop with a hard to see image on live video.

"Uhh... Boss? Is that you on the screen? I can barely see if you're there." One of the generic grunts asked.

"Yeah, it's me. Who elses would be on this computer!?" The voice of the image yelled "The faggots who were attending to this thing fucked over the resolution somehow on the video."

"Sorry boss." The OC's said in reply "But we got that girl you wanted. The girl you wanted for those adult videos!"

"That's perfect, now we can... Wait, What?" The person in the small video asked "Adult video?"

"Yeah. The girl you wanted for those, what everyone was calling, legal loli pornos."

"YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!" The man yelled "You two! Stick those laxatives in them for me." He demanded to the two other OC's standing next to the laptop.

As the two men who weren't kneeling pulled the other two and force fed them an instant relief laxative, they then walked back to their positions by the laptop.

"BOSS, WHAT THE FUCK MAN!?" The two guards asked, as their bowels were instantly starting to churn and burn "We got you the girl!"

"I said I wanted her for the AV fan-club! You know! The thing everyone calls the Audio Visual fan-Club! Not adult video!" The boss spoke as he berated his subordinates. As the two disgrunted OC's continued to squirm, their boss continued to speak "So, did you get the other item?"

"Ye-Yeah..." One of the two OC's spoke as he grabbed at his rumbling tummy "It was a little hard... But... But... But... I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!" The OC ran off into the bathroom, leaving his companion without relief.

"Look, here's the gem you wanted!" The other OC spoke "We had to pry it out of the old mans hands! But I have to go! See you later boss!"

As the other OC tossed a gem on a necklace, he then ran off with the boss giving a quick sigh and speaking "I don't know what to do with those two. Whatever. We've got what we need for our other more important plan. Here's to the path to victory."

As we cut away from the rival group having their celebrations for whatever it is that they accomplished, we cut back to our main group, a couple of hours after, coming to a stop to catch their breath with Great Red circling the area in the sky and losing his shit over everything "FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" He screams as he breathes flames into the sky "Damn it! We'll never find her now!"

With the group catching their air, they begin to converse about the whereabouts of Ophis.

"Damn it!" Yelled Hisato "We're fucked!"  
"Calm down Hisato!" Remias shouted "We just need to calm down and keep looking"

Shinichi suddenly shot up from his position and shouted "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? WE'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR 3 HOURS, IN EVERY DAMN SHOP, EVEN IN A GRAVEYARD, AND YOU THINK WE NEED TO KEEP TRYING!?"

"He's right. We've fucked up." Kai said before Great Red came crashing down from the sky.

"Sniff..." Great Red sniffed his massive nostrils as he lay on the ground in an almost petrified state "My baby girl is being violated in some dank green screen room in god knows where... And I'm never going to be able to live with myself..."

"Boss..." Alastair said as he put his hand on Great Red's side. As he turned his head away from him to not have to see his greatly admired boss squirm like a fool, he noticed a TV with a commercial going on "Boss... Look at the TV!"

As the group turns their heads to the TV, they notice a commercial for a club on sorts "Come one come all fellow video and music lovers!" the TV said. "Come down to the Areomax AV Fanclub and enjoy not only our film showings and live tech demo's, but come visit a canon Highschool DxD character and get an autograph!" the TV said as Ophis face appeared on the screen. It showed the address for the fanclub meet up.

"This is our chance, boss!" Remias spoke "Let's get to the club meetup and show those bastards who's the boss of bosses!"

"Yeah!" Red shouted in agreement "Let's head out!"

Cutting away, we see the group come across a large convention center. Upon their arrival through the front doors, they notice that the amount of people is astronomical. The only issue is that everyone else looks like they're all the same. All dressed is red coats, black leather pants and, and black knee high boots.

"You notice anything weird?" Shinichi asked Kai.

"Yeah. Either this is a fucking cult convention for the criminally insane, or everyone's as generic as a yuppie from the 80's."

Sifting through the crowd, looking for Ophis, they suddenly take notice of a loud voice speaking from what appears to be a PA system "ARE YOU SHINING STARS READY FOR THE BEST TIME OF YOUR LIFE!?" Said the voice. As our group tries to locate the source of the man's voice, they enter the main auditorium area where they notice a center stage.

"Where do you think the voice is coming from?" Remias said to Hisato.

"I don't know. But what I do know is that it sounds familiar... It sounds like..." Hisato spoke. Before he could finish his sentence, the voice spoke once more.

"IT SOUNDS LIKE THE DARK GOD OF ROCK, ZAIDRA!" Said the voice as an odd man dressed in an odd opened up white duster coat with red stripes and spiked shoulders, black leather pants, ornate boots, and an odd ornate head piece that sort of resembled the helmet of Zero from Megaman X came crashing down from the ceiling, strumming a demonic looking guitar like sword with a massive aura of a mixed color of red and black power spreading outward from him.

"I fucking knew it..." Hisato spoke.

"Knew what?" Kai asked "So you guys are familiar with this over the top rockstar wannabe?"

With a solemn look on their faces, Hisato, Remias, and Alastair turned to Kai and Shinichi, and nodded yes to them. Turning back, Alastair then said "This stupid fucking shit is the leader of a rival gang. He's been a huge potential fuck up for us for a long time."

Remias then interrupted to add in her two cents "If it wasn't for the fact that he normally doesn't get his hands dirty, he would have torn the boss in two like a twig. He's gotta be like twice as strong at least."

As the gang conversed about the rival gangs leader being the man standing center stage, the man then began to calm his strumming down, and then readied himself for a pose. He then took to a flamboyant pose that resembled the poses of the characters of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, pointing two fingers at our heroes, with one arm being extended and the other cocked back, and then he spoke "I thought I sensed a few ingrates in my territory!" He shouted with vigor and pride "Looks like the Blood Rusters decided to show their ugly mugs!"

"Go to hell you fucking halfwit retard!"

"Still being a hothead eh, Hisato? Haven't you learned anything since leaving me!?" Zaidra spoke in a condescending tone to Hisato.

"Left? You mean you used to be that guys subordinate, Hisato?" Shinichi asked to the now disgruntled Hisato.

Hisato then answered in a solemn tone "Yeah, that's right."

"What the hell!?" Remias shouted "What do you mean you were his subordinate!?"

"It's just as I said!" Hisato shouted in defiance to Remias enraged question "I used to work for him. Simple as that. But because he lacked a lot of drive for expanding his territory, I left. I'm not about to work for someone with less ambition than me."

"Regardless of past relations with a hipster fuck like him, we need to interrogate him right?" Kai questioned as he walked down the stairs towards the center stage with Shinichi following.

"So I see you've got some new fresh blood in the Blood Rusters ranks eh!" Zaidra asked to the group as he slammed the bottom of his demonic guitar to the ground in a neutral stance "I can say for sure, they're definitely better than the usual mooks you guys hire." Zaidra spoke with a sly smile directed towards Kai and Shinichi.

As Kai and Shinichi reach the center stage, face to face with Zaidra, both Kai and Zaidra stare each other eye to eye, with Kai sweating a litle from the massive aura being given off by Zaidra "I have to admit... You've got some impressive aura there." Kai spoke.

"The two of you aren't bad either. You're obviously not as strong as me. But with a little bit of extra effort, you could probably pull out a win. Maybe." Zaidra spoke in a calm manor, demonstrating an air of obvious superiority, but a small air of minimal respect.

"What are you doing!?" Alastair questioned as he came soaring down to the stage "What do you think you're doing just walking up like that!?"

"What are you talking about? We have to find out where Ophis is, and interrogating this guy would be the absolute best bet even if we have to fight." Kai said. Even though he said that they could have to use force, he thought to himself "I know I'm saying this... But I don't know if we could pull this off... Even if I were to bust out that, I doubt it would help without a higher risk of me dying than surviving."

"You want to know where the little kid is? She's off signing autographs." Zaidra said.

"What dirty grody shit are you having the poor misses do!?" Alastair demanded to know what Zaidras plans were.

"Grody? I'm just having her sign autographs."

With an awkward silence, Alastair then asked "So you're not having her do legal pedo pronos?"

With a long winded sigh, Zaidra said "Not this shit again. I didn't plan to do any such things with her. What do you take me for!?"

"... You've got to be kidding me." Kai asked.

"Nope. Some idiot must be spreading rumors. Go check for yourself. You can have her back if you want." Zaidra replied. As the conversation died down, Hisato stood behind them, with Remias following suit.

Speaking to the group, Hisato said "Well? Are we done? Since we just learned that nothing bad is actually happening to Ophis, we can go right? I can't stand to be in this guys overly cringe worthy presence."

"You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that, Hisato." With a slight condescending tone, Zaidra reprimanded Hisato. "Did you forget that you didn't actually just leave, but left in shame after failing to take over my syndicate with force? You were left by me with your face in the mud."

With shots fired, Hisato then landed a swift left hook to Zaidra's face with a load of pure raw energy put into it. The energy exploded, causing smoke to disperse everywhere.

Causing Kai and the others to cough their lungs up, Kai then yelled "What the fuck is wrong with you!? You couldn't wait until at least 2 shots were fired before getting triggered like a fucking Special Snowflake!?"

"GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU CHRISTMAS TREE HEADED STUPID FUCK!" Hisato shouted.

However, everyone then got a good glimpse of where Zaidra was standing, and were quite honestly surprised to see him unscathed and merely annoyed with a smirk of eagerness upon him. "Like I said, old chap. You've got a lot of nerve. Not only coming into my convention and ruining our previous tech demo before it could start..." the mighty demon growled "You also have enough nerve to pick up from the massacre that destroyed your pride before. I'm a little impressed... But only a little."

As Hisato backed away, the others could feel the need to prepare for a fight. "If that's how it has to be..." Kai said "Then let's get this over with!"

With everyone coming towards Zaidra, it only took a mere second for him to pull his arm to the sky, and strum his guitar-like-sword once, causing a fusion of red and black energy waves to send the entire group flying into empty seats in the stands.  
As they all got to their feet, after a couple of seconds of regaining their senses, Alastair said with some snide tone "Fucking hell. Our asses got handed to us... What the fuck do you propose we do now mister control the situation Murakami?"

"Hold on." Kai said, as he pulled out his smart phone and began Twatting, their version of Tweeting, to the internet "JUST GOT MY ASS #REKT BY SOME WANNABE ROCKSTAR FAG IN A TRENCH COAT. PLEASE KILL ME."

Alastair could say nothing other than "Seriously?"

"Yeah. Go fuck yourself."

With a quick dusting of his coat, Zaidra hopped off the stage and said "If you pigs are done, then get out, and take your loli with you. We got the traction this place needed with her help. You're also annoying my followers."

"Followers?" Shinichi asked.

"Of course. Haven't you noticed? All the people dressed the same in the stands are my loyal followers. They follow me because they respect me. And I respect their determination to show such loyalty." Zaidra said as he pointed to all of the stands and people in them "If you keep pissing them off, don't blame me if you get killed. I've trained all of them. Now get the fuck out of here before I send you packing down to hell."

As he said that, he then turned to walked off. Before walking off into the distance however, Shinichi noticed a small shine that dangled from his pockets. Taking a quick snap shot of it with his phone, he then walked off with the rest, as Ophis came running back to them, and they headed to the front entrance to leave.

Arriving outside, they then were greeted by a smaller version of Great Red that was only half as tall as Kai, that soon grasped onto Ophis with his wings and began hysterically crying out "OHHHHHHHH MY BABY GIRL IS JUST FINE! I'M SO HAPPY YOU HAVEN'T BEEN F-ED IN THE BON-BON YET!"

Prying her from his grasp, they then began to sit down by some park benches to rest. "Sigh..." Hisato spoke "Looks like things turned out okay. I guess."

"Yeah." Remias replied "You still fucked up though."

"So are we done?" Kai asked "You're going to hold your end up of the bargain right?"

Looking up at Kai, still in his small form, Red responded with "Yeah... We'll leave our illegal activities behind, right guys?"

"Yes sir." The group of former gang members lethargically responded.

"Well then Murakami. It was wonderful seeing you again." Red spoke to his old friend "Perhaps one day I can start my training again, and we can do it like we did in the old days. It seems to me that you never fully gave up training, so I have to catch up again."

"Sure. I'll let you borrow the equipment I have and see if I can't give you a free 3 month membership to the gravity gym I train at." Kai said as he shook Reds claw with his hand.

With the Blood Rusters leaving, and Kai giving a great big sigh from having accomplished his goal, he prepares to get up and leave with Shinichi, before noticing a concerned look on Shinichi's face "What the hell's eating away at you Bub?"

"It's just..." Shinichi said "I don't think we're meant to be done here."

* * *

**With a solemn look on his face, and Kai giving him an annoyed look from exhaustion, we come to an end with this chapter. What is it that's eating away at Shinichi and making it that they can't leave just yet and return to Frieza? Does the demonic god of rock and roll Zaidra have something to do with it? If so, then what? Catch you on the flip-side next time on Dragon Ball Z... I mean Death-Guard Evolution.**


	9. Chapter 9: Catastrophic Symphony Part 1

**There's gonna be some fights in this. I'm terrible at fight choreography. So if someone wants, they're free to offer revisions with more choreographed scenes. With my supervision of course. But prepare for some cringy fight scenes.**

* * *

**The Not So Average Life Of An Average OC.**

**Chapter 9: Catastrophic Symphony: Prelude**

**Genre: Comedy, Action, Adventure**

**Music, crime, and death. Do these go together? Not in a story like this. But such a combo is on the rise. Will our main characters be able to handle the sudden auditory onslaught of the future? Yes? No? Maybe? Continue on to find out.**

**Last time, Kai and Shinichi found The Blood Rusters, got Kai reacquainted with an old friend who was The Blood Rusters leader, and got the leaders daughter back. But not without a quick Twatter post about getting rekt by a flamboyant rock star demon. They were about to leave and report back to Frieza, but Shinichi was looking a little worried. What's eating at him? Let's get this show on the road them and find out.**

* * *

Looking down at his friend who still lay his two cheeks upon a bench, Kai asks him a quick question "What the hell's eating away at you bub?"

"I took a quick picture of something I spotted from that Zaidra guys pocket…"

"What could you have seen that would be enough to make you look like you just saw your waifu get fucked by some guy on the internet?" Kai jokingly said.

"If this pic is accurate, even if it looks blurry, it's a scientific artifact from this cities local culture shock festival's personal storage that was stolen only about a week ago. I saw it on this cities personal Death-Guard private message board." Shinichi answered "It's supposedly one of the most precious items to the Death-Guard, said to be able to give someone or something the abilities of a Death-Guard, made by some mad scientist."

"And? Don't tell me even a noob like me is gonna be mandated to find something this important and return it?"

"Yes. You are…"

"Well fuck my life…"

"For 120,000 credits." Shinichi said as he put his phone to Kai's face revealing an ad on the Death-Guard personal private message board offering a reward to any Death-Guard who acquire it.

"…..Well it's our civic duty to fix this now isn't it?" Kai said as a bit more life sprung into his eyes.

Heading out into the city for a small drink, our duo of misfits sits at a small cafe, pondering what to do if that item in Zaidra's pocket truly is the stolen artifact.

"So what does the seasoned senior Death-Guard propose we do to try and locate the item?"

"We should first ask around some underground areas that might know anything about what Zaidra has been doing lately."

"And what about the reward? How do you propose we make sure we acquire it before anyone else stronger than us comes and stomps his ass?"

"We just need to make sure we get it before the message gets spread to other cities and other sectors. This shouldn't happen to soon since this town is sort of a mix of being a hick town in the middle of nowhere and a city with tons of conveniences but only a handful of Death-Guard force."

"Then let's get to it. We're gonna ask for info and see if we can at least give us a legit excuse to launch a full on frontal assault on this guy, even if we're scrubs compared to him." Kai said as he sipped his extra strength espresso up.

"Well… Why don't we go to this massage parlor?" Shinichi said with a hopeful look on his face.

"Why?"

"Well… It's frequented by a lot of mob bosses on the weekends so we could start there couldn't we?"

"It's Tuesday." Kai said as he looked at Shinichi "There's gotta be more than that for you to want to ask if we can stop somewhere like that."

"There's… Gonna be one of my favorite canon characters there for a special massage to anyone who shows up with with a rare special coupon this month. And I have some."

"Meh, okay. Let's go, as long as it doesn't cost a huge penny."

"It'll be 25 credits with this coupon."

As they make their way to the massage parlor spoken of in the coupon, they find themselves in a very well kept and rich looking place. Being greeted by a decently well groomed woman, they are greeted with her asking whether they're here for a normal massage or if they have a coupon.

"We've got two coupons here for your special." Shinichi responded as he presented two coupons for their special.

"Alright then. Two coupons for our Momo special." The counter lady said as she rang a special bell.

After ringing the bell, within minutes, light footsteps could be heard coming from a curtained area under a sign that reads "Massage Room". Appearing from the curtains is a girl with small pink hair, purple eyes, and dressed in a white yukata who then spoke "Alright, let's get this over with. Who's the next fatass who wants…" She paused after looking at her guests and said "Oh, well aren't you two quite the lookers! Please forgive me! I'm used to getting a bunch of fat losers so much that I didn't notice you two were actually quite good looking."

"This will be your masseuse for your time here. Her name is Momo Belia Deviluke. She's here on special terms so please enjoy yourselves." The lady said as she directed them to the area where the massages take place, and gives them some looser clothes to change into. After changing into a pair of blue yukata, they walk out of the changing room and into the large area with two large tv screens on the back walls with rows of reclining chairs facing them.

Standing near them was Momo who was painting her nails. Looking up at her two guests she then finished her nails and said "Well, aren't you two spruced up. And you…" She said looking at Kai "You're quite well built. Take a seat. You're first. You must work out a decent amount. And you look a lot less relaxed than your friend. So you need this more than he does."

"Meh, okay."

Sitting him down, Momo removed the upper part to Kai's Yukata and began to work on relieving tension in his muscles. As she began working, Kai then asked "So… Do you know anything about… OW!" Kai said before Momo gave a push against his shoulders "What was that!? I thought this was a massage parlor! Not a damn chiropractic clinic!"

"What? I'm just making sure you losen up and relieve all that tension, and in order to do that you need a little bit of that good old synovial fluids in your shoulders relieved." She said before continuing "Now don't mind me. Continue."

"Well… Do you know anything about any underground business going on?" He asked.

"Underground business?" She questioned before Shinichi spoke.

"A scientific artifact was stolen from the towns local culture shock festival. Some kind of gem."

"Oh right. I did hear something about that. I heard it's some kind of gem known as Forfath's Crystal."

"But that's all? You should know more right? This is kind of a more shady business place right?" Kai asked.

"I'm just working here because I lost a bet. I wouldn't be doing this unless I had no choice, so I'm not in the loop on those things."

"I'm not surprised, considering how brainwashed harem girls and protagonists are in this world's odd cultures." Kai said as he let out a sigh "So it's no surprise that you wouldn't even think of working here while massaging men you probably think are hideous."

"Oh, don't get me wrong, you're not ugly or anything, if you were thinking I was saying anything like that." Momo said as she continued her work "You're both relatively attractive."

"Ha, thanks. Do you know anyone else that might know something about this?" Kai asked.

Before the question could be answered a large shadow had loomed over the trio. A large and obese figure dressed in his own white blue yukata and with a neckbeard and tattoos was standing behind them. "So you're the shrimpy little shits who got first dibs on my precious Momo!" Said the large man.

"You snooze you lose, captain Diabetes. Lay off the triple cheeseburgers and you'll get here on time." Kai said as he pushed the large man away "Now, back to what we were asking, who else might know something about the disappearance of this so called Forfath's Crystal?"

As Kai asked Momo questions, the large man came back to him, grabbed him by the shirt, and said "You won't make it out of here without being put six feet under for several years, let alone finding out where that crystal is. Be a smart man and lay off my Momo, and I might let you in on a little secret."

"Is that so? And how do I know it's gonna be a secret I need?"

"It doesn't matter! Just stay out of the way of my time with my waifu!"

"Waifu? Isn't she a little young for you with that basement dwelling neckbeard?" Kai said with a slightly diturbed look "Come to think of it, isn't she a little young for you too Shinichi?"

"Well… She's 14…. And it's not like a 14 year old can't be mature." Shinichi replied with a nervous tone.

"ENOUGH OF THIS! ONLY I'M WORTHY OF MOMO! NOW LEAVE US ALONE OR I'LL MAKE YOU REGRET IT!"

"Really?" Kai asked as he gave a light smile to the man giving him worthless death threats "Say, Shinichi, does our job require us to let people make threats like that? Can we exercise executive authority in this case?"

"I don't see why not. Just don't let anyone catch you without witnesses ." Shinichi said as he gave Kai a pat on the back

"What the fuck are you talking…" The fat man said before the scene cuts to black instantly and returns to the entance to the parlor now with the doors busted down, and the fat man on the ground nearly dead.

"Well now it looks like you're gonna need a hospital trip more than some quality time with your, to-young-for-you, teen dream." Kai mocked the man with his foot on the man's fat face "Sorry about the damages to your door."

"Oh no worries." Momo said, with the manager sitting at the door, scraping what's left of her door "I can easily pay for a new door. Why don't we head back inside and finish what we started?" She said, as she lead the two back into the parlor.

An hour later, we see Kai and Shinichi leaving the parlor, Shinichi with a smile of satisfaction and Kai pulling out a smoke, towing the barely concnious lardass behind him. As we cut away from this scene to a close up of the fat man's face, it then gets slapped with something wet, causing him to wake up. In his sudden snap from his beat down induced slumber, he finds himself barely patched up from his beating, with Kai and Shinichi standing a about 5 feet in front of him "Wha-What the fuck is going on! Where am I!?" Said the captive sack of meat.

"Nowhere that you need to know. Just know that there's you, us, a barrel of fish, and a whole lot of quality time between you and me." Kai said with something behind his back.

"Fuck you!" Screamed the captured weeaboo before he felt yet another wet slap from whatever Kai was holding "What the fuck was that!?"

"Oh, this?" Kai asked "It's a wet towel."

"Why the hell does it smell!?"

"I dipped it in that barrel of fish over there." He pointed "Now, let's try this again shall we? You do what WE ask, and your face won't smell any more like a basement dweller who just got done eating his fat girlfriends snatch out. Got it?

"What makes you think I'd tell you anything after…" The man spoke before he found his face once again smashed by the fish smelling towel "OOOOWWW!

"You said you had a little secret, and you're gonna tell us." Kai said "We could either do this the easy way, hard way, or harder way. There's a lot worse things me and my friend can be doing to you."

At that notion, Shinichi got a malicious grin on his face as he grabbed a pair of jumper cables "You ever seen movies where they used these for torture?" Shinichi said "Well imagine these, but hooked up to that." He said as he pointed to a series of large ball in the room with a half white and half red color scheme "Those are Electrodes. The Pokémon. Each one has more than enough electricity to nuke the nervous system of someone with the strength of someone like Raditz from Dragon Ball, and all of em together contain enough power to equal that of 50 cities. So it's either this, the wet towel, the wet towel and this, or you talk. Or we can kill you since we're Death-Guards"

"Oh… Oooohhh. Okay." The man said as he slowly cried a little "I heard that the local gangs were all gonna try to make an offer to Zaidra."

"An offering? You mean for the Forfath's Crystal?" Kai asked.

"Yeah… That's it. He stole it from the Culture Shock Festival a week ago. I heard he has plans for it and is working for an unknown employer. That's all I know!"

"Thanks. Now take a nap and hope your nurse is nice enough not to be repulsed and fat shame you into enrolling into a university." Kai said as he knocked out the man. Later, after leaving the man at a hospital and walking out, he turns to his colleague and asks "So what now? We know he did it, but we would be hard pressed to be able to stop him on our own."

"I don't know. We might need to ask for help. Maybe those Blood Ruster guys are willing to help us."

"They're disbanded right? Pointless to ask them. But we may as well give it a try."

As they ask around, they discover the address of Great Red, make their way there, and are surprised to find that everyone is still there together, and after explaining Kai asks "So what happened to being disbanded? I thought we agreed on this?"

"No, you misunderstand!" Red said "I'm not doing anything bad or anything! We all happened to have been neighbors to begin with. So we visit each other constantly."

"I see. So, anyways, about what we just asked?

"Oh yes! I don't see why not! How bout it for the rest of you!?"

"I'm fine with it." Remias said.

"I'm all game." Alastair said.

"Hmpf. Whatever, do whatever you want." Hisato said as he sat in his chair, troubled by something."

"Then that settles it! We're gonna do our civic duty and see what we can do to help you out! But first, can you help us with something?" Red asked after shouting his approval.

"…What?" Kai asked after giving a sigh.

"Well you see old friend, there's a festival going on all next week which will end off after Hyoudo Issei does his Oppai Dragon showing. We're gonna hold our own thing by having a haunted castle. And we need some people to help keep the peace since Alastair is gonna be busy with something else. So we're gonna be short a member."

"And you want us to help?"

"That's right. Just keep the peace. Some people might have an issue with us and we might have a few idiots trying to mess things up just to spite us. Do we have an accord?" Red asked

"I don't see why not. We'll help you keep the bums from smashing up your show, and you'll help us find a way to slam that rock and roll hellspawn." Kai said as he shook hand to claw with Red.

Cutting away from that scene, we find ourselves in an office building with Zaidra, and a slim darkened figure sitting at a desk with a tv screen in the back facing them. Three darkened faces then appears on it and the darkened figure says with an odd and muffled voice "Are you all ready for everything?"

The third face to the left responded with "Yes. Everything is ready. We're all set on our end."

"Good." Said the figure "Play your pat well so that they understand."

"We'll do what we can." Said one of the voices before all three were shown on one video feed, and all suddenly came together into one as the single entity said "We will bring them to our ranks and bring your goals into reality."

"Good, I'm not paying you for nothing after all!" Said the figure before ending the call and being spoken to by Zaidra.

"What do you plan to do with this thing?" Zaidra said while holding the stolen artifact "My men went through some trouble to get this thing. The least you can do is tell me what it does."

"Shut up! Just do what I'm telling you to do and everything will go according to my plan." Said the dark figure before Zaidra suddenly walked in front of the desk, eyes glowing red, and spoke.

"I'm not some average hired thug. Show me some god damn respect. You're the one who came to me claiming I'm needed for this. So you better keep your mouth shut if you have nothing to say, or you can consider our business done and your ass fucked."

"R-Right." Said the figure as Zaidra's large imposing shadow caused everything to get even darker "Please accept my deepest aplogies, and calm down! You're quite imposing! You'll find out in due time. But I just want to keep it all secret for now."

"Fine. Just don't make me wait too long."

As we cut away from that scene, we find ourselves looking upon the beginning of the festival week. With everyone setting up, Kai put on castle peace keeping duty with Remias and Hisato, and Shinichi taking on the task of patrolling the area for anyone suspicious, the festivities are underway.

"So how long will this take?" Kai asked his fellow peace keepers "Do we just go around patrolling the castle? Kind of ruins the idea of it being a haunted castle."

"Sort of." Remias responded "We're gonna let in a batch of people. When they come through, they have to get through obstacles." She pointed to a small area in the hallway of this large castle that they're in "Whenever they come across one of those special tiles, it activates a hologram that will sort of make this like an RPG adventure. They also get a set of weapons and armor for the immersion. So we'll start patrolling from the entrance before we let in each batch to make sure that everything is okay and that all goes well."

"Sounds like a plan."

"We've got to get things ready before the first batch is up. Let's get to it. We've got 30 minutes for each batch." Hisato said as he lead the others. Checking things out, going through every hall, room, double checking that every clue to the next obstacle is in place, all seems to be well. Half an hour later, the first few batches are sent through along with a few patrols, and everything seems to be going perfectly until suddenly, the last batch came running back through the entrance, 2 people short, and the other 2 covered in blood.

"Help! Somebody help us!" Screamed one of the two men.

Grabbing the man by his shirt, Remias told him to calm down and asked "What's wrong!? Take a deep breath and tell us everything!"

"You don't think they just got scared from a bucket of fake blood or something?" Kai interjected

"No, we didn't plan THAT much blood."

Still shivering, but a little bit more at ease, the two men told them that they were approaching one of the obstacles, until what they thought was a hologram of a giant armored knight had swung down its supposedly holographic sword onto one of the two guys girlfriends, splitting her in two. Thinking it was just a part of the act, and that they fucked up, they left her to supposedly respawn back home like most fictional characters do when killed, and continued. A similar occurrence happened again, and after hitting a tile that sent them back to the same place where the first girlfriend was cut down, they noticed she wasn't gone yet and that her blood was cold, and her flesh was real, and she had soiled herself. They came to the realization that they're girlfriends were genuinely dead.

"WHAT KIND OF ATTRACTION IS THIS!? WHAT KIND OF MORONS ACTUALLY THOUGHT IT WAS A GREAT IDEA TO LET PEOPLE DIE!?" One man screamed before the other one asked a question loudly.

"YEAH! WHAT!? IS THIS ATTRACTION SUPPOSED TO BE A DEATH-GUARD FORTRESS OR SOMETHING!?"

"Shit. We gotta check this out." Hisato lead the group through the entrance of the castle after putting a sign at the front that read "Experiencing Technical Difficulties" to keep people out. Making their way through the early area, they come across the first obstacle. Remias pauses to speak "This obstacle requires that you answer a riddle. If you get the riddle wrong, you have to do a turn based battle with the monsters it summons."

As they step across the row of tiles that activate the obstacle, they are greeted by a large winged angel like entity that speaks and asks "What is a man?" before tossing a wine glass to the ground.

"Uhh… What?" Hisato responds.

"Something wrong? I thought you guys made these things. You're telling me you don't know the answer to your own attractions!?" Kai asked Hisato over the lack of knowledge of their own castle.

"Somebody fucked with it! Someone hacked and reprogrammed this thing. But how did they get it to actually kill someone?"

"Answer the question. What is a man."

"Hmmmmm… Can you repeat the question please?"

"What is a man?" The winged man said, again tossing a wine glass.

"Damn it! There's some kind of clue! I know it! It's on the tip of my tongue!" Kai said. As the angel repeated one last time, it again tossed the wine glass… Suddenly, something snapped, and Kai snapped his fingers and said "I've got it! The question is a reference to Castlevania Symphony Of The Night! The answer is, a miserable pile of secrets!"

After a short pause, the angel said "Correct."

"Ha! Got ya didn't I!"

"And incorrect!" The angel said "The reference is correct, the answer is incomplete. The correct answer is a miserable little pile of secrets. Death to all who trespass!"

"Fucking bullshit…"

In a sudden flash, the angel had unveiled a sword made of pure light and slammed it's might weapon downwards to where Kai stood. Jumping out of the way, Kai then raised his voice and yelled "Hold on! Isn't this turn based!? How do we know who goes first!?"

While dodging the attacks, Remias speaks "Normally the person would go first! But it looks like more than the answers have been hacked! We're gonna wing this!"

As they continue to jump around, evading the swipes of the angel like creature, Kai readies his Death-Guard uniform and pulls out his sword to block a massive diagonal strike from the beasts blade, and palm striking the back of his own blade to send him away, and putting his sword into a more defensive battle ready position. "Alright then, it's time for some blasphemy mixed in with a good dosage of steel and blood."

The angel then began to swing at everyone with all its might, Hisato then grabbed the sword in his armored balance breaker and while he was holding it Remias sent a flurry of energy bolts at it, with Kai coming down from the ceiling after having leapt there in a flash and sliced apart the angel.

"That takes care of that." Kai said as he put his weapon back into its sheath "Let's get going."

"If we get through the rest of the obstacles then we can reach the maintenance room where the master computer is." Remias said. As they continue on their way, they see the dead body of the first girl, and find themselves confronted by the giant knight that struck her down.

"The Darknut from Twilight Princess?" Kai said "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"The boss just likes Zelda. So he paid royalties."

The Darknut then swung his sword across the room, forcing Kai to block once again, as Remias and Hisato scatter, launching their own respective attacks at it. Kai's sword was tossed aside by the might of the Darknut and he then grabbed it's blade, and began to swing it hard enough to send the Darknut and its weapon flailing into the door to the next room. As we cut away, we see a group of figures watching them from a secret room.

"Hmm… My brothers, do you see that?"

"Yes. It appears we have discovered the muscle of the group. We should perhaps work to take care of him first."

"Then we will take the others down one by one. Let's give this spiky haired beast something to soothe his raging heart."

As we cut back to the battle at hand, with the Darknut's weapon shattered and relying on its fists to combat its foes. Continuing the fight, Kai suddenly let out a loud "OW SHIT!".

"What happened!?" Hisato asked.

"I don't know who did it, but someone just shot me with something. I don't know what, since I can't find any trace of a projectile."As the battle continues, the Darknut eventually lands a blow directly to Kai, knocking him into a wall. Kai, noticing his own strength draining, makes one last move as he circles around, dodging attacks, stealing a sword hanging from the wall, and then sneaks his way around the Darknut's back. Landing on the Knights back, he thrusted the sword into its back, causing an explosion of light as he trusted it further and was sent flying into a wall. The explosion left a hole in the armor, big enough for Hisato to destroy it by throwing a ball of dark red energy into it, and blowing it up. As the smoke clears, the enemy has been revealed to have been destroyed, but Kai doesn't seem to be moving.

"Is he dead?" Remias said as Hisato kneeled down to check.

"No. He's knocked out. Whatever hit him earlier must have been a tranquilizer. He seems completely and peacefully asleep." Hisato grabbed Kai by the arms, and threw one over his shoulder and said "We'll have to carry him like this. Go pick up his weapon and put it back. Let's make our way to the next area."

As they head on, the same three figures are seen again appearing behind them, not being noticed and one of them says "The next room will be their end. The two of you shall wait for them there."

"Yes. We shall await their arrival and take them down."

Making their way to the next area, Hisato lays down Kai onto the wall near the entrance before saying "Let's get this over with."

Stepping onto the row of tiles meant to activate the obstacles, they wait for it to activate, but find that something is off "Something is wrong… It's not activating like it should."

As the two began to fiddle with the roon, trying to find out what's wrong with it, suddenly, a large door appeared at the end of the room, with an image of two grim reapers on it "Hmm… That's weird. It's timing is off… Be careful." Remias said as she approached the door slightly.

As she approached the door more, it then began to glow. Seeing this as a call to action, Hisato looked back to see if Kai had awoken yet, but was shocked to see Kai was missing and said "Where the hell did Kai go?"

As Hisato turns his head back, he then sees that the door has let free the two reapers from itself. As they appear from a flash of light blue, they then speak "There is no place for devils like you in this world. Dragon's shall be our feasts… And your mighty friend shall see light no more."

As they ended their words, Hisato then thought to himself "Shit! They must have had someone else take Kai!"

Meanwhile, in the castles cathedral section, a sleeping Kai is about to potentially have his life plucked from him like a weed through a sickle. As a shadowy figure approaches him, you can hear the echo of a grim and foul laugh that reeks of death.

As the figure comes into view, we see a third reaper cloaked in a far more ornate set of robes, blue flames coming from the insides, and a floating skull face in utter darkness within the hood. Said figure then says "It looks like the roles are reversed." as he raised his scythe to the air. "Your strength has been made null, and you are now the paper tiger to my dragon."

Cutting away before this scene closes permanently, we come back to our two others who are stuck dealing with their own two foes out to reap them of their lives.

"Damn it! This would be so much easier if we had our third member with us!" Hisato said as he ducked from Sickles out to slice and dice his life away.

"These guys are really troublesome!" Remias said as her own attacks phased through the reapers "We can't seem to hit these freaks! It's almost like they're literally ghosts!"

"We are not just like ghosts… WE ARE ALSO DEATH-GUARD!" Screamed one of the reapers "We are your, as some people might say on the internet, your kouhai!"

"Shit! You're gonna have to answer for killing those two people!" He said before thinking to himself "This is gonna be tough if we can't actually hurt them though!"

While they continue to fail to attack the supposedly intangible enemies, we cut back to the reaper who was about to slice the life from Kai. Preparing his bony hands full of blue flame to bring down the curtain on Kai, the master of the other world says "Now, while my brothers fend off your two companions, I'll put an end to your stay in this world. It has been a pleasure to meet, and end you… Senpai!"

Suddenly, the blade had been swung down, ready to dig the tip of its ungodly blade into Kai. But as it came close to sending Kai to his end, the blade was stopped in mid swing, and an aura of red energy started to flow around Kai.

"Keh!" The reaper let out a grunt of struggle as he couldn't seem to move his blade "Wha… What in the name of shit is this!?" As the reaper struggled to try and drive his blade into Kai, he then noticed that the energy surroinding Kai seemed to take the shape of a hand and then felt something coming from it that he recognized "This feeling… It seems ethereal in nature. It couldn't be…" He said as the energy hands through him away. As the reaper took a look, the energy surrounding Kai started to disconnect from Kai, and start to take a more solid shape, in a more otherworldly look of a red demon like entity.

Though the reaper was prepared to fight, he took notice of the fact that Kai himself had not once opened his eyes and was seemingly still asleep. There was even a sense that there was not one, but two entities there, and yet there was also a sense that only one person stood before him. Suddenly, a barrage of fists coming from the ornate demon like entity came rushing at him like a Kung Fu movie master, and as the reaper defended himself, Kai was being thrown about and flopping like being possessed by a demon.

Finally, the demon landed a single punch to the reapers gut, connecting somehow to the supposedly ectoplasmic entity. As the reaper was sent across the room, he then halted himself and spoke "Even I am afraid!?"

As Kai seems to droop over while seemingly being held up by this ornate demonic apparition, the apparition then let's out a battle cry as it launches more punches by screaming out an odd short phrase repeatedly. Sending the reaper flying again, the sudden movement now had awoken Kai from his slumber. As he slowly rises back into a proper position, he rubs his eyes, fixes his back up from being tossed around like a rag doll by the apparition, and then begin to observe his surroundings.

"I… I have no clue what the fuck happened. All I know, is there's someone I don't know in front of me, my trump card is out, and I'm still in this castle." Kai says as he slaps his face a little, narrows his eyes for a more battle ready attitude, and speaks "So like my 4th grade teacher says… It's punch like an Englishman first, and worry about broken bones later!"

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**As both sides ready for their respective fights, one to survive, the other come out on top and hope to assist the other side in surviving, we come to a close on this chapter. What is this special new power Kai has revealed to us? Why is he able to affect a reaper when the other two cannot? If you haven't figured it out by now through clues, then you'll find out later in chapter 10 in this mini series of chapters in this story of mine.**

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**Sorry if this chapter is a little wonky in the spelling or grammar at first. Still trying to find time to juggle proof reading and all the other shit I do. Once this series of chapters and training with Frieza is over, I'll be doing stuff that's a bit more episodic in nature and not all connected completely while coming up with how to move the overarching plot. But either way, I wanted to give my characters established powers they can use that are a leg to stand on. So sorry if it lacks "originality" in the power department. But there's no such thing anymore in power creation. The powers are all the same in most anime. Just different labels. So why in a crossover fanfic would I name it any differently? If someone even so much as called that original, I'd cringe myself out even more than reading my own fight scenes. The only thing that's creative now is how you use it in the context of the story. So, with all that said, to be continued *cue an excerpt from Roundabout by Yes*.**


	10. Chapter 10: Catastrophic Symphony Part 2

**I suck at making battles. Also, sorry if I upload very infrequently. I've taken up Youtube to spend my time, and I've always got a streak of working slow when working alone, and trying to perfect as much as I can. So, here's the next chapter. Getting closer and closer to finally getting past this arc, because I have LOTS of plans, and if anyone is willing, contact me if you want to discuss ideas. Looking for some help, mostly in how to do the in between the special moments stuff. Like what to write to progress to the important moments of a chapter.**

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T**he Not So Average Life Of An Average OC.**

**Chapter 10 Catastrophic Symphony part 2**

**Genre: Comedy, Action, Adventure**

**Ora ora ora ora ora. To get help to beat the baddies, Kai and Shinichi have to help the Blood Rusters keep their castle safe. Which they failed to do. Now Kai has to find a way to get to his compatriots and help them out. Because they can't touch a ghost. But he can. By being super unoriginal and using what can only be described as the law of fanfiction. Or are they even ghosts? No. But close enough. Let's get on with the show.**

**It's night time on the first night of the festival. Those two guys are still shivering in their boots so they haven't yet ruined everyone's fun, and our main protagonist is knee deep in shit while his comrades are in even deeper shit.**

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"So that's how you managed to stop my blade!" The reaper said as he stared at the image floating behind Kai's back "A spectral manifestation of one's own fighting spirit!"

"Pardon?" Kai questioned.

Scoffing at the question, the reaper again spoke "Come on! Are you kidding me? Okay fine! It's the shit that a stand from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure is!"

"Oh right!" Kai responded "I'm not too familiar with the technical side to what a stand is. All I know is that everyone kept calling him Tainted Prayer. I got that they named em after rock bands, musicians, and songs, but did they really have to mix two songs together? Either way, I'm gonna have to turn you from a grim reaper, into a uhhhhh Hey, Grim?" Kai asked his deathly opponent with a small hand gesture.

W-What? The reaper said in response to Kai suddenly asking him in a friendly manner.

What s a good analogy to use related to that old cartoon Grim Adventures Of Billy And Mandy? Kai asked Just for curiosities sake. After that we can fight.

Okay, well You could say *I m gonna have to turn you from a grim reaper, into a child s plaything*.

Nah. Too simple and not obvious enough.

Well How bout *a 90 s cartoon character turned child s plaything!*

Nah. Too tame. It s that child s plaything. Sounds like a stereotypical line.

As the reaper scratched his skull, he then had an idea "Then how about you just go with something simple like "you'll turn me into nothing but bone marrow?"

Kai then pointed towards the reaper and said "You know what, let's roll with that!"

"Good! I m glad you like it!" The reaper said as he let out a sigh of relief.

"Thanks man!" Kai said as he put his hand to the reaper for a handshake.

Extending his hand into the handshake the reaper said "Not a problem! Always a plea-" before being met with a flurry of fists from Kai's stand, letting out a guttural cry mid sentence, and getting knocked to the ground.

"Well, that takes care of that." Kai said as he began to walk off from his idiotic foe. "I guess you're about as retarded as Billy if you fell for that. Now on to meet back up with the other two."

Before Kai can walk off, a flurry of scythes went smashing into the walls near the door out of the room, and Kai turned back to see the Reaper rising up, putting himself back together, and saying "I might have just went full retard, but I won t let that happen again, Now, let s continue this shall we, and there won't be any shitty memes or references to get in the way."

"Ok then". Kai said as he got his stand ready and gave an angry and annoyed smile and a slightly visible vein popping from his head.

Cutting away from the impending fight between death and death, we cut to the entrance to the now closed off attraction with Shinichi approaching the gates. As he approaches, he notices Great Red standing at the entrance with a worried look on his face as he's floating around in his shrunken form back and forth.

"What the he'll has you worried?" Shinichi asked.

In a sudden burst, Great Red spoke like he was a young boy with ADHD hopped up on energy drinks "There's a problem with the attraction and a group of couples just died! What the fuck do I do!? What the fuck do I do!? I can't afford for this to happen right now!"

Looking to the entrance into the castle of death, Shinichi dashes off as he whispers under his breath "God damn it."

Setting our gaze back back to Remias and Hisato, we can see the fight for them has come to an end and they managed to subdue their own ghastly apparitions, but at the cost of a lot of energy.

Breathing heavily to regain composure, Hisato attempts to speak a few words under his raspy breathe "That That was harder than I tbought. These guys are pros, so we better..." Before finishing his words, Hisato suddenly turned his head quickly noticing that the reapers presence hadn't fully faded. Looking upon them, he saw that their bodies began melting into the floor. As they melted into the floor, one of them raised their hands towards Hisato and tossed him a letter.

Remias, looking at the letter in his hands, asks "Are you gonna read it?"

"Not right now. Let's get out of here. We've got one last bum to locate."

Cutting back, we see that the fight between Kai and his own deathly opponent is still going and barely started, but Kai is already losing stamina and some blood.

As the reaper is lashing out with slash after slash, Kai continuously is put on the defensive as he dodges and attempts to retaliate with whatever opening he can get within the reapers crazed haymaker like scythe attacks.

However, it appears that the damage done to the hovering skeletal ghoul from his stand is only so much "You've got a lot of endurance for someone so brittle looking!" Kai spoke though a frustrated voice as he combats his foe.

"I appreciate the compliment captain obvious! But I'm far from done with my surprises!" As the reaper swings his scythe around like a maniac, letting out a hysteric cackle, Kai is beginning to slow down, giving way for the enemy to bring it's deadly blade down onto him, barely being stopped by Kai's stand.

Struggling against the weight of his opponents blade, Kai begins being pushed downward as his stand struggles with the situation. "Damn You've got me on the ropes man. I don't know what I'm gonna do here." Kai says as he drips a bit of sweat down from the force having to be dealt with.

"That's right! Are you getting it now you young little punk!? You're about several letters too young on the generation scale to fuck with someone like me!" The Grim Reaper spoke with a voice of cockiness "It's a shame I've got your hands tied!"

"Oh? Who said that you had all of my hands tied?"

"Pardon?" The reaper said in response to Kai's statement "In case you didn't know, I've got your stand about ready to drop to it's knees! And you know you can't do anything with it being held down this much!"

However, as he was gearing towards that final push, the reaper was met with Kai's foot to his meatless jaw. "I don't ever remember saying that me and my stand can't move independently of each other! I'm not such an amateur that 15 years of stand practice wasn't going to let me use it to that degree of independence. You'd have to be a..." Before Kai could finish his words, the reapers blade had swung down on his left arm, chopping half of it off, with a look of pure dread on Kai's face as he notices his missing arm, causing his stand to fade as his focus was halted.

"DON'T FUCKING MOCK ME YOU UP START LITTLE SHIT! I WILL NOT BE MADE A FOOL OF!"

But before a second could pass after the reapers last word, his face was met with a flurry of singular punches from his right arm as Kai let out an enraged yell of fury at the loss of his left arm, sending the reaper flying towards a wall, letting out a gutteral scream of agony as his bones scattered everywhere on impact and even fracturing into halves everywhere.

Letting out a sigh of releif, and breathing heavily, Kai spoke "Tsk, damn it. It's gonna be a lot more lonely at night." before turning his head from a sudden pressure, as he see's his opponent begin to piece himself back together in a luminescent flare of blue fire.

"I have to admit, you've got a lot of tenacity to keep fighting like that, even even after losing your arm." Said the reaper as he floated back into place within the blue fire he was producing, with his sycthe at the ready "But it's time to drown you in the river styx, and you're not going to come back like Kratos did in God Of War 3."

It seemed to spell instant doom for Kai. The reaper was readying his sycthe, and as he began to swing his weapon down, the wall behind them burst as Shinichi appeared and flung a haymaker into the reapers face, letting out a battle cry sending the reaper again into a wall.

"Shi-Shinichi? What the fuck are you doing here?" Kai asked his sudden savior.

"What!? I just saved your fucking ass! That's what you have to say!?" Shinchi said as he kicked Kai who had fallen on his ass.

"You were supposed to be patrolling! Who's gonna keep the peace on the outside!?"

"Red said he'd take care of that and phone a friend of his to take over after he gave me a quick call. He was flipping his shit when he called me over."

Before the two can fully enjoy their conversation, the stubborn boney bastard got to his feet once more, and was fully enraged to the point that his typical blue flames were starting to completely bask the room in it's aura causing it and everything in it to turn into a hue of blue. "You... Both of you are going to fucking die, and I'll personally carry you over to..."

Before the reaper could finish his sentence, he had suddenly felt a chill that silenced him and he noticed the two turning around with an erie glow as they turned to face him.

"You don't know when to fucking give up, Do you?" Kai said as he leaned forward slightly with a threatening scowl on his face befitting that of an angered Yakuza "Let's finish this before my arm starts rotting, I like not having to die for a respawn, and I prefer using that arm for my special me time."

"You got it, I'll be sure to pray for your eternally dead soul in heaven. Also, you owe me a drink for not telling me that you had something as cool as a stand to use." Shinichi said, before the scene changed from there, to a view of the night sky, with sounds of pain and agony being heard by passerbys. Returning to the previous view, we see Kai and Shinichi standing over what's left of the reaper, as Kai dusts off his hands.

"You... Bastards..." the reapers remains of his skull spoke, seeming to have no more energy left to piece itself back together "I'll be waiting for you in hell for this! Go on and... Laugh while you can. My job here is done. Sayonara... Losers. Hope you enjoy a heel to your face." As the reaper said his final words, his skull was ungulfed in blue flames and turned into charred dust, but his cackles could still be heard, continuing to fade as his remains became less and less visible.

Giving out a sigh of relief, Kai then sent his stand back to its resting state, and walked over to his arm to pick it up "So, let's go find the others and get out of here. I can't go without my left hand to keep me company for too long. Hopefully they can put this back together."

"Right, let's... Wait you're left handed?" Shinichi asked "But you're sword positioned on your back is in a position that would warrant for a right hander to use it."

Kai, moving his now detached arm to point it flimsly at his friend said "I jerk it with my left hand and fight best with my right hand. Sue me."

As the two were about to walk off, they see Remias walking towards them through a hall. Reaching up to them, she greets them. "We've been looking for you, what hap..." she said before noticing something "What the hell happened to your arm!?"

"It got cut off while fighting some grim reaper."

"Well what a coincindence. Me and Hisato we're fighting two grim reapers ourselves." She dragged the two to their previous location to show them the wreckage of the room "We were shoving our own skeletons back in the closet over on this side. Speaking of which, where's Hisato?"

As they look around, Shinichi notices someone sitting over in a small corner in a short dead end hall in the room. Walking over, he tapped his shoulder and Hisato turned and gave a quick glance with an odd expression as if he were contemplating something. "You feeling okay?" Shinichi asked.

"Y-Yeah. Just gathering some thoughts."

"Are you reading something?" Shinichi asked as he noticed a letter in Hisato's hand "A letter for you? Here?"

"No, just found it lying on the ground somewhere."

"Well, whatever. Let's get out of here. We should report the situation."

Cutting back to the entrance to the castle, Great Red is seen floating back and forth, smoking an ass load of cigarettes, and sweating so much that he has to even replace some of the cigarettes. As he continues, he eventually stops as he notices everyone walking out of the castle with Kai's arm missing from it's place "What the fuck happened to you!? Did you get rid of the problem!?"

Turning his head to his missing arm in the hands of Shinichi, Kai says "Well, Sherlock, I lost an arm. I think it's safe to say that shit hit the fan and that the whole place is in shambles."

"Well the damages can be fixed! So, did you get rid of the problem or did you get your asses turned inside out!?" Red yelled.

"Nah, we won. We managed to get rid of the guys who were messing with it." Hisato responded "So how are you planning on fixing this shit?"

"Easy! I had a friend make a call for a fixer to clean up everything."

As Great Red turned to a man with a pompadour sitting in a car, we see that the man has "Diamond Repair Services" on his jacket. Walking over to them after Red signaled him to come over, he asks "So you guy's ready? You should feel lucky. We don't normally use our these for things like this for free."

"Let's do it!" Red said as he shook the guys hand "You two can go ahead and take the rest of the night off. Take this coupon for a free stay at a hotel I got in the mail, it's good up until the end of the festival. You can go and prepare for that oppai dragon show. Some of my colleagues will be there. We'll deal with the rest of this here, so enjoy your night and the week until you can find a plan to get that artifact back." Red said as he pointed to Kai and Shinichi.

"Alright then, we'll leave this to you, when you fix my fucking arm." Kai said as he held his dettached limb out in front of the fixers face, getting a little bit of blood on him.

"Okay dude, I get it!" The fixer said as he had Kai put his arm back in place, and held out his hand in front of the now put back together limb, and permanently reattached Kai's arm back to him "I hope you know you could easily just get that reattached back at a hospital."

"And pay a shit ton in hospital bills? How bout I bring your legs there with me?" Kai said as he began walking away.

And with Kai's missing limb fixed, he and Shinichi make their way down to the hotel walking through the city. Kai then asks along the walk "So what do we do?"

"About what?" Shinichi responds.

"Figuring out how to locate that artifact."

Putting his finger to his chin, Shinichi then starts to think before saying "Well, I'm positive that Zander guy stole it. I saw what looked like it in his pocket. We should probably confront him."

"We don't even know where he is, and we're gonna need to find out. But let's just get some sleep and ask around later. I'm beat."

And with that, the two heroes arrive at the hotel, and finally get to enjoy some sleep. Meanwhile, back at a familiar dark office, we see Zaidra sitting in a chair, speaking to said darkened figure from previously, and he suddenly jumps up. "What's wrong with you!" the dark but slim figure in the shape of a female body spoke up "Suddenly jumping up like that!"

"I didn't expect all three of them to die, but still..." Zaidra said in a solemn tone "Well, at least I got their final message." he thought to himself "The reapers have done what I asked, and distracted them, and delivered my message."

"What's wrong?" The female figure asked

"Nothing. We've located the hidden base, but it will take time to get it up and running. Once we do that, everything we'll need for the grand finale will be ready, we'll just need to lay low and try to distract them a bit more. Make sure you do what I asked of you"

"Yeah, whatever, just make sure your side goes off without a hitch. I don't want all the stress of worrying and sweating to make me have to take a fourth shower."

"You take three showers? When you sweat, or just by default."

"Shut up and go..."

Changing scenery, we see it's a small time past noon. Kai and Shinichi have awoken and readied themselves for the new day, and have taken the time to stop by a diner to ponder over what to do in order to acquire the info they desire to locate Zaidra and regain what they believe he stole.

As a waitress walks up to the two with a small tray, she puts down two cups of coffee, on the house. She then pulls out a notepad, and asks "so, what can we do for you two?"

Pointing his finger at the menu, Kai said "A plate of blueberry pancakes, hashbrowns, and a glass of orange juice"

"And you sir?" The waitress said as she turned to Shinichi.

"I think I'll take the house special."

With their food order, the waitress takes her leave. With her out of sight, Kai then picks up his cup of coffee, and then dumps it into a nearby decorative plant. Shinichi then looks at him with a look of confusion on his face and says "Why the hell did you do that?"

"I only drink espresso, and I prefer it when it has a caramel flavoring to it. This junk smells like normal instant coffee mix."

"Right, so the first order of business is to acquire information on where to find this Zaidra." Shinichi putting a finger to his chin says "He's got to have a place he goes to regularly, so we should scout out those places, and try to hide out in one of those places. Even if we can't beat him in a fight, we can make like Solid Snakes, and manage to get a picture of him with the gem, considering he probably keeps it on his person at all times for safety's sake."

"And what then? We want the prize money right?" Kai rebuts.

"Yeah, we can use this as evidence, and present it to a few other death guards and make an alliance. If we get them to sign this contract I printed out, that means they'd have to at least share the prize with us in exchange for this information."

"Sounds good. Where do you plan on getting these Death-Guards, considering there's not many in this city?"

Pull out his phone, Shinichi pulls out a list"I've did some research last night, and I managed to locate at least 6 other Death-Guards in this city. We should have enough to help us take care of that guy if we all team up."

"Okay then, let's eat, then we'll hit the streets and see if we can't strong arm some information about those places out of some people."

With food eaten, and coffee wasted, Kai and Shinichi eventually, after asking around, discovered that the place he visits the most, out of the places he visits frequently, is a small village where he had apparently spent much of his childhood time in.

"He frequents that village the most. So we should go there and try to disguise ourselves so as to lay as low as possible. If people notice us going towards there, they might warn him." Shinichi said.

"How do you suppose we do that?" Kai responded.

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out two coupons for a costume shop back in Ark City "We'll use these!"

"Coupons for Zar's? How the fuck is that going to help? That's a cosplay shop, and a hardcore one at that. We're looking to sneak around, not sneak around in cardboard boxes while smoking a cigarette."

"Relax!" Shinichi exclaimed "Trust me, I've got a surprise for you. All we gotta do is go back home, get the costumes, come back to the hotel and rest up, and tomorrow, we're bonafide spies with something special to offer that doesn't come from just anywhere!"

"Sure, a couple of short bus riding special ed spies. Besides that, we were told I had to stay in this outfit at all times." Kai said, as he refused the coupon offer.

"You can't be serious, can you?" Shinichi said, utterly disappointed over his comrades refusal.

"You're damn right." Kai said in defiance "Even if Frieza wouldn't mind it for the mission, or if he was even serious, I'm not about to go and play dress up in some generic costume, nor am I about to let you dress me in some frilly outfit. Do you honestly think I'd look good in a fucking dress?"

"No, don't worry, I told you, this one's special, all it takes is the costume, and a bit of work with your hair, and you'll look like a bonafide badass!" Shinichi said patting his friends shoulder.

"I already am one thank you. I tend to try to take pride in my masculinity unlike some clowns out there who'd toss it away just to get in touch with their femininity. I'm not about to dress in some stupid get up, trying to look skinny like some twig, but somehow duel wielding swords like some kind of edgelord."

"Trust me on this please! It's not going to suck ass, and it's to save money! These coupons are really good!"

Taking the time to ponder, Kai then decided to accept the offer "Fine, we'll do it. Let's go" he said as he lead the way to the closest teleport station.

"Alright! Let's get you all spruced up and looking like a real Saiyan elite!"

Changing scenery, we see them standing in front of a mannequin, unable to see the majority of it save for blue baggy pants, white boots, and Kai staring at it with a bit of a sparkle in his eyes, as he reads the sign that says 70% off with coupon and "combat ready", and turning to Shinichi and saying "This turned out to be a pretty good day".

Making there way back to the hotel in Zevelan city, we then cut to the crack of dawn, with a fully rested... Vegito coming out the hotel? It was Kai, in his combat ready Vegito costume, hair combed around to resemble the fused Saiyan legend more, and Shinichi in what appears to be an Abarai Renji cosplay.

"Alright Shinichi, let's get going."

"No, Kai, we're supposed to go by the character names of our cosplays! Lay low remember!"

Turning to Shinichi, and grabbing him by the shirt, Kai drags him off while uttering "Just shut up and move your ass."

As they make their way to the village, we cut to the actual village itself to see Zaidra walking into a wooden house. In this house, we see what appears to be an old married couple that's barely able to walk, sitting in rocking chairs that have some small devices attached to them, helping them to breathe. As Zaidra walks in, they barely managed to take notice and managing to speak, not fully having lost their ability to speak after managing to reach such an old age despite most characters losing the ability to age a while before such afflictions can occur "Oh my, little Zai is back home." the old lady said as she rocked back and forth in her chair "What brings you back home?"

"Yes, tell us, what brings you here, son?" The old man spoke in a weak voice.

"Nothing much dad. I just wanted to see how you're doing." Zaidra spoke as he gently caressed the old man's back "Well, I brought you some food to, and I made sure it was made for you to be able to eat it." he said as he pulled out some pre-made mushy looking substance, and getting it ready for them "I hope you like this mom, dad, the meat I used is quite expensive."

Before he could finish however, a voice spoke up and said "So those are your parents huh?". Shocked by the sudden voice, he turns to see what appears to be the fusion of Goku and Vegeta, Vegito, and the soul reaper Abarai Renji. Speaking once again, and more light shining on them, it shows it's nothing more than Kai and Shinichi, standing in the doorway. Raising his voice once more, Kai then says "who woulda thought that a big bad gangster like you would be taking care of old parents like these. I can hardly see a resemblance."

"What was that he said dear?" the old father asked.

"Nothing dad, here, eat." Zaidra spoke as he handed the food in cups to his supposed parents "You, let's talk outside, I'd rather they not know about THAT."

"Shinichi, stay here, and keep them company okay?" Kai said as he asked his friend to keep watch over the two elderly people.

"Okay, I can do that. Just don't take too long, the smell of old people food is disgusting to me".

As Kai and Zaidra take their leave, Zaidra leads Kai to a nearby grassy area with a cliff overlooking Zevalan city. Walking over to the cliff, Zaidra stands there, saying nothing, until Kai asks "So what's up with the old people. Those are your parents?"

"We're not really related. They raised me when I turned 11 and left my home and people." Zaidra answered as he stretched his arms outward a little "Despite how I may look to you, there's more history to me than there seems."

"Give me a break. I didn't come here to hear your life's story. I came here to ask you a question."

"And you'll get an answer when I get to let my inner thoughts out. I know why you're here." As Zaidra walked a bit closer to the edge of the cliff, he put his arms down and began to speak his inner most thoughts out "My family is quite an old one. I don't know how far it actually goes back. We apparently started making money by selling clothes, despite the fact that we, if our records are speaking the truth, were born rulers."

"Really? Clothes? You know how to sew?" Kai asked with a slight chuckle.

"Shut up. My people lived for generations in a large town called Barlon. For generations we were a ruling family there. Until one day something happened, but our records won't tell us what happened."

"And? What does this have to do with clothing? I'm pretty damn interested in learning about your history in coat making."

"I'm getting to that!" Zaidra yelled "Somehow, we fell out of power. Rumor has it that our families at the time ruling patriarch had left. Without money, we were in a bind. That's where we decided to put our special powers to use."

"Special powers?"

"See this coat, these pants, this helmet like thing on my head, these spikes?" Zaidra pointed to the many odd spots of his clothing and such "These are all actually a part of our bodies. We can create clothing and detach them from our bodies. A little nifty trick we have when we need to share warmth during extreme cold weather."

"So you made clothing out of yourselves and sold them?"

"That is correct." As Zaidra continued he then looked up to the sky a little "My family is known for being incredibly gifted in that regard. Among our fighting prowess, our clothing creation abilities are it's only match. Except for me."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you see this marking on my forhead? This is the symbol of a patriarch. Me, and my two brothers were all born with this. It's usually only one son during EVERY generation." He said as he turned and pointed at his forhead to show the symbol "With this in mind, I was expected to perform just as well as my brothers. However, I lacked their abilities. I wasn't able to match them in capability, no matter how much I trained. And what's worse even, is my lack of creativity."

Kai then put his finger to his chin "I'm following. But what do you mean by creativity?"

"I am the only member of my family whose ability to create clothes is limited to only two colors. Black and white. I was considered a disgrace to them on all sides, and treated as a piece of trash who would be out on the streets if not for some family obligation. So I decided to leave. It was painful leaving my brothers behind though, as they were the only ones whom showed any care for me."

"And you went to live with the old folks?"

"That's correct. I met them while I was digging in the trash and eating some old thrown out half eaten cheese pizza. Despite the vomit on it, my hunger made it taste great."

"That's too much information. So are you done?"

"No." Zaidra continued "Because of mom and dad, whom I consider my true parents, I was at least spared some of my childhood from being broken. I don't want them knowing that I live the life of a fucking mob leader."

Kai then looked at him after pondering, and said "Why don't you just tell them?"

"If I were to tell them, they would no doubt tell me to stop, and I wouldn't be able to ignore them. I love them like I would my real parents, if they were decent to begin with."

"Why is that bad? Is that the only job you could manage to help those two live? They sure don't look like they're able to live an eternal life comfortably."

"That is true. You are perceptive in quite a few ways. But paying for them isn't the only reason. Individuality."

"Pardon?" Kai responded as he was confused by that last statement.

Turning again towards the sun, as it begins to set over the city, Zaidra then puts his fist to the air, just in front of his face and speaks in a solid and prideful tone "Because I want to be free!"

"Free? What is this, some kind of talk about how the government is cracking down on people's freedoms or some shit? Not that I doubt that." Kai said as he sat down on his rear and leaned his arm on a bent leg, with the other straight.

"Nothing like that." Zaidra gave a quick answer "Expectations. My family having such expectations of people with this symbol was unbearable. I wanted to be me. The more time I spent, living under them, the more I desired to be free, to live for myself. It was then that I discovered music when I turned 9. the more I listened to the outrageous songs that were sung to express oneself, the more I fell in love. This family that I care for understood that, and once I left, I pursued a career in it."

"And this is going to lead to you being a gangster?"

"Yes. Because it's hard to become famous without selling out to some record company, I couldn't afford to pay for my parents living expenses, and still be who I am. When I reached 17, I just couldn't handle it, but I refuses to get a normal job. It would feel to restricting. So I started pickpocketing and robbing local stores dressed in the most retarded of outfits to hide my identity."

"I think I can get the rest of it" Kai interrupted as he threw his hand outward "Eventually you made yourself a name and began your own mob family?"

"That's right. At my current age of 36, being a mob boss is the most freedom I've had in a job. I'm the boss, and no one else is. Now, I'd like to ask you a question."

"Shoot, as long as you promise to answer mine."

"That's a fair trade... What do you think of the idea of living for oneself? Do you live for yourself?"

"I guess. I'm not about to go and save someone from having to deal with their own shit when I could be fixing mine, unless that person was a friend. But I'm not really one to complain about having to have a normal job."

"I see. So in a way, we are kindred spirits." Zaidra proclaimed.

"I'm not planning to stay like this though. I've got ambitions." Kai said as he looked up on the standing figure before him.

"Oh?"

"I'm planning on becoming a canon character. I'm not about to go out without people remembering me."

As Kai finished that sentence, Zaidra then looked down at him, with a look of pity, and said "I see. So that's our difference. What you consider a job leading to more freedom will only lead to your own downfall."

"The hell does that mean?" Kai stood up, a little ruffled in his pants.

"You're a fool. Most people who go into those careers lose their true selves in the process. You either wind up being some osbcure B movie cult hit, or you become famous through promotion, but you'll only be promoted by your corporate masters in exchange for becoming their political puppet. It's simple politics. What is the price of consistent fame if not your soul?"

Kai could only stand there, a little confused.

"You seem confused, But I understand. I think I see why I was a little interested in you when I saw you back at the concert. It seems your soul connected with mine, just a little, and it wants it's own freedom." As Zaidra walks off, past Kai, he turns to say one last thing with Kai turning towards him to hear "I chose this life as a mobster. I want it to stay that way. To live your life trying to live solely for the sake of other people is to forget your own existence, and will lead to suicide. I'm glad to know you at least know this much. But remember my friend, you won't ever be able to go past that if you live your life just to become famous. The only person who needs to know you exist, is you yourself." He then pulled out something from his pocket, and showed it to Kai "This is what you want right? The Forfath's Crystal?"

"Uhh, yeah. That's right." Kai responded hesitantly, still reeling from the long speech that was placed upon him, but managing to take a picture of him with his phone.

"Come to the city's west side entertainment center on the day of the Oppai Dragon showing. You and I will be able to talk things out there. Perhaps we can come to an understanding and learn from each other there." Zaidra said, as he put the crystal back in his pocket, knowing that Kai could not hope to fight him as he is now "You can rest assured, I'll wait for you to show yourself. We'll understand each other in the only way men like us can."

Spending some time on that field, before heading back to the house that Zaidra's adopted parents were in, he noticed Shinichi standing outside the door "What's up with you? Did you see a ghost or something from your past?" Shinichi asked.

"Nothing like that! So, did he leave?"

"Yeah, he left." Pointing towards the city "He actually took off back to Zevelan. He said you and him were going to have an important meeting on the final day of the Oppai Dragon show. Did he challenge you to a fight or something? He said something about a date with destiny for you two."

"Probably. He said we'd understand each other in the only way men like us can. I guess I probably reminded him of something since he seems interested in me. Said my soul cried out for his help" Kai said in a tone of disgust and shrugged his cringey feeling off "Like, it was like some line straight out of an anime or something. That's not something I tend to hear people tell me in real life often."

"Well never mind that! There's not only going to be a Oppai Dragon showing, there's going to be a live performance by the idol Fuuyumi Aiko! Her real name is actually Kathy Maxwell though."

"Why is this important? Is she a canon or something?" Kai asked.

"No, she's a famous OC idol that a lot people love! I've got tickets!" Shinichi said before Kai looked at him pitifully.

"You're actually planning on just slacking off on this trip aren't you?"

Shinichi then stopped him and said "No! I'm gonna sell these by the stadium for exorbitantly high prices and make some extra rent money! I got them after I bought them for their regular prices!"

"... You know what, I'm not gonna even care, because I'm sure you know how to manipulate other weeaboos into buying those things, and money sounds nice." Kai said, with a newly lit sparkle in his eyes, as they walked off back to the hotel.

* * *

**With a date with destiny set, and the evidence of Zaidra holding the forfath's crystal in hand, our heroes return to the hotel to rest up, and ready themselves for the dangers ahead. But will it be enough? Will Kai's meeting with Zaidra gift him with something important? Will plans to reacquire the forfath's crystal go as planned? Or will it royally fuck up? Find out in the next chapter of this story.**

* * *

**So this chapter was a load more philosophical than I thought it would be. Not that I wasn't planning that, but I wasn't expecting such an interaction right then and there. Sorry if this took so long, since I take my time with these stories. But I have trouble finding out the right ways to progress the plot, nor do I know for sure if this even works. I'm just writing, and trying to find a way to express that. Next chapter is going to be another step closer, but I don't think it will be the final end to this part of the story. It's quite an important part as I'm planning this in a sense that I'm planning the overarching plot, and I need to find out what kind of death-guards are going to help them in their battle. So wait for the next one if you will.**


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